And today’s Tiny Violin Award (TM) goes to…

April 12th, 2007 6:10 pm by Kelly Garbato

…farmers in East Sussex, England, who were offended (offended, I say!) when Lewes Mayor Merlin Milner had the temerity to serve them a (*gasp*) vegetarian dinner (!):

FARMERS have protested against Lewes’ traditional Town and County Dinner because the mayor insisted on a meat-free menu.

According to Roger Foxwell, deputy chairman of the East Sussex National Farmers Union, a number of farmers stayed away from the function because the meal was entirely vegetarian.

The mayor, Cllr Merlin Milner, said the event, which took place on Monday evening at the Town Hall, was a great success and the decision to have a vegetarian dinner was not a criticism of farmers but based on his personal beliefs.

While all of the now-shows deserve their own profile in The Onion (or, at the very least, brief quote), the comments of one William Craig – which I can only hope were made in jest, given their utter stupidity – earn him this week’s Tiny Violin Award ™:

“I think we were all disappointed there wasn’t a meat option. When you go to a restaurant you are generally offered a vegetarian course and we were surprised we were not offered the same choice as meat-eaters.”

Yeah, those selfish vegetarians, always limiting everyone else’s dietary options. It’s, like, nearly impossible to find any meat dishes nowadays. It’s always broccoli this and tofu that.

Jebus, the way these murderers are carrying on, you’d think we veg*ns run the world. As if. I dine out maybe once every two months or so, not because I don’t enjoy gourmet food or the lack of food prep and clean-up, but…because I can generally only have 3% of the items on the menu. Ya know, cause it’s mostly beef and cheese. Vegetarian options my ass. Dude must be counting french fries, right?

Well, while William and his animal-killing ilk are chowing down on steak and kidney pudding, I’ll be wailing away on my tiny violin for the poor, oppressed meat-eaters.

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