Cluckin’ hilarious.

November 20th, 2007 11:59 pm by Kelly Garbato

2007 Presidential Turkey Pardon.jpg

THE PRESIDENT: Good morning. (Applause.) Welcome to the Rose Garden. Thanks for coming. We’re glad you’re here at the White House. Each of you is taking part in a tradition that goes back to the days of Harry Truman.* And to paraphrase Harry today, we have a message for our two feathered friends: You cannot take the heat — and you’re definitely going to stay out of the kitchen.


I also thank everybody who voted online to choose the names for our guests of honor. And I’m pleased to announce the winning names. They are “May” and “Flower.” They’re certainly better than the names the Vice President suggested, which was “Lunch” and “Dinner.”


Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Like I said, cluckin’ hilarious.

Reason #173,946,271 why I’d *heart* a Kucinich presidency: we could finally forgo the turkey pardoning exercise in absurdity.

* Try again, fuckwit.

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