A Month of Noodles and Balls

December 1st, 2007 11:59 pm by mad mags

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Jesus may be the reason…but His Noodliness makes it delicidoso!

Since the Mr. and I are atheists, we find it kinda hard to get into the Christmas spirit and all. But we love a party, and seeing as there aren’t really any big secular holidays to get excited about, we’ve been hesitant to scrap the idea of “x-mas” altogether. So we thought we might try celebrating His Noodliness instead of Santa and Rudolph. That’s right – it’s gonna be a Flying Spaghetti Monster-mas this year!

Now, you can’t exactly traipse into Wal-Mart and come out with a cart full of FSM decorations, so we’ve had to improvise.* Not easy, since we’re 1) starting from scratch and 2) not very crafty.** Even so, I think we done good.

We went shopping*** a few weeks before Tofurky Day, and came home with a fuckload of pipe cleaners, googly eyes, fake fruit, glue sticks, raffia, and string. Oh, and pasta. Can’t forget the pasta! (And if you happen to overbuy like we did, you can always eat the leftovers. Score!)

I started with the craft projects the day after t-day, and worked through the weekend. It takes way longer to string together penne garland and craft glittery Flying Spaghetti Monsters than you’d think. I didn’t get to actually put up the decorations until earlier this week, but that was a piece o’ cannoli compared to making them. We still have some odds and ends to take care of, but I’m almost ready to call it al dente.

Given all the work that’s went into my carbolicious masterpiece, it’d be a shame not to share. So stay tuned for future FSMas posts (they even have their very own category for easy browsing!). I was gonna do a whole “twelve days of FSMas” thing, but I’m not sure I can eke out twelve distinct decorating ideas. Instead, I’ll post ’em here and there as time allows. If you’re hungering to see what I’ve come up with, I just uploaded a ton of FSMas pics to Flickr. Check out the set here.

Till then, I’ll leave you with my x-mas card from 2005, which set this whole thing in motion. That, and my anti-theist/pro-pasta agenda.

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FYI, diy instructions for the card:

1) Start with this photo and a copy of Photoshop;

2) Copy and paste in some x-mas clip art for the holly codpiece and Santa hat, then transform to scale;

3) Replace the black border with a red one;

4) Apply a red photo filter;

5) Type in your oh-so-clever title and FSMas greeting (I used the font “A Yummy Apology”);

6) Send to friends, relatives, and those right-wing wankers who clutter your inbox with urban legend forwards.

* OK, so that’s only half true. I’ve been able to re-purpose some traditional (but secular) x-mas decorations to fir my pasta-n-pirates theme. For example, red and gold garland have great crossover potential, since they’re the colors of red pasghetti sauce and gold doubloons.

** When I was in high school, I bought yards upon yards of funky fabric, with dreams of transforming a dozen or so pairs of tapered jeans into bell bottoms. That damn fabric is still sitting in my closet – two moves, 1100 miles, and 13+ years later. Musty as hell, too.

*** The Dollar Store is a goldmine for craft supplies. FSM booty galore!

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