Stop Global Warming: Become a Pirate (Party like it’s 1725!)

December 22nd, 2007 11:59 pm by mad mags

It’s just not FSMas without pirates, mate!

If you’re worshiping the noodles-n-balls this year, don’t forget your pirate gear. That means you’d better stock up on eye patches, bandannas, gold doubloons, triangle hats, gold garland, black flags, jugs o’ Captain Morgan’s rum, and other pirate booty.

Being the tree huggers we are, the Mr. and I erected a glittery pirate display in the front window. Fuck the Baby Jebus and his lame-o Nativity Scene – we’ve got ice sheets to save!

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Of course, you don’t have to stop at one little display. Adorn your otherwise-ordinary “Christmas” animals with pirate gear to give ’em that FSMas feel.

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Captain Robbin Redteddy, who guards his bountiful booty with a velvet paw, is a converted “Christmas” bear. What one religion calls a “godless killing machine”, is in fact savior of the glaciers and taster of the red sauce to another.

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And, although I already gave flags a shout out, it’s worth mentioning again.

You just can’t have enough pirate flags, large

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or small!

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Now for the how-to: I bought almost all of the pirate junk at Century Novelty, mostly because they have the greatest variety of the interwebs storez, but also due to their relatively inexpensive gold doubloons (hint: if you plan on using coins in your display, fill in the gaps with gold garland – booty does not come cheap!). The only pirate plunder that we didn’t, erm, plunder from Century Novelty are the two large pirate flags (Amazon), as well as Cpt. Redteddy’s hat and bandanna – which is actually a canine Halloween costume I got from a certain shall-remain-nameless Box Store this past October.

Look familiar?

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Oh, and the books. We’ve had those for ages. Shane likey pirates!

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