Chocolate & Yogurt: Sarah Haskins on "Lady Food"

June 28th, 2009 11:13 am by mad mags

As much as I love me some Sarah Haskins, sometimes it’s weeks before I remember to check for a new installment of her Target Women series. I’d blame it on my scatterbrain, except I’m usually organized to a fault. There are just too many distractions on the interwebs to keep track of, dammit.

Anyhow, I had ample time to catch up this week, since I haven’t been feeling all that well. (Stomach bug, food poisoning, who knows.) Though she rarely covers “animal issues” per se, a number of her skits do indirectly touch upon animal exploitation, as we saw with her take on the Carl’s Jr. franchise. So it is with her discussions of “lady food” – namely, chocolate and yogurt.

There are a number of feminine corollaries to the tired old “meat = masculinity” meme. For example, women eat “like birds” (and sundry other adorable-but-harmless wildlife), daintily pecking at fruit, vegetables and (one would assume) scattered nuts and seeds, our weak lil’ bodies having little need for muscle-building protein. (Protein is only found in the rotting flesh of animal corpses, dontchaknow!?)

Additionally, whereas men crave meat (and heart disease), women literally lust after sugary highs – especially if they come coated in chocolate. What better foodstuff for already hysterical, irrational and moody beings, no? Plus, consuming the milk of our enslaved sisters is the perfect night cap to a shitty blind date.


The marketing of yogurt – specifically, probiotic-rich yogurt – is a newer trend. (Or at least “new” in the retro sense of the word; I’ve no idea what the picture was like in the ’70s, but the Mr. swears that he remembers similar gynocentric yogurt advertising in his youth.) Whether you want to attribute it to IBS, yeast infections or diet fads, yogurt most definitely falls into the “lady food” category.

Someone had better alert my husband, as he eats at least as much Whole Soy as I do. (Eeks! Soy yogurt! It will grow him a vagina and turn him gay!)

Again, I’m troubled that women are pushed to consume “dairy”-based products, considering the intimate tie we share with the “producers” of this “dairy” (i.e., our gender and the potential for exploitation based solely on our reproductive organs). Consider PETA’s “Breast is Best” campaign, which created such an uproar in the feminist (and general) community. Sexist or not, this sort of abuse is visited upon millions of “milking” cows every year – so where’s the sympathy for their actual suffering, vs. the hypothetical human suffering proposed by PETA?

Women are told that we crave (milk) chocolate as if it were a drug, or need (dairy) yogurt (again, as if it were a drug), nevermind 1) the suffering each class of products inflicts on our non-human sisters and 2) the wide availability of cruelty-free alternatives.

Speaking of which, Whole Soy and Silk both make delicious soy-based yogurts. Contrary to what Dannon would have you believe, virtually all yogurts – dairy and soy included – contain “good” bacteria; Activa & Co. provide nothing new on this front. Just look for the words “Lactobacillus acidophilus” (“L. acidophilus”), “Lactobacillus Rhamnosus” (“L. rhamnosus”), “Bifidus,” “probiotics,” “good bacteria,” or “live cultures” on the label.


Videos in this post:

Sarah Haskins in Target Women: Chocolate (February 6, 2009)
If you want to take my chocolate away from me, you’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead, sticky, delicious hands. Chocolate: more important to women than air.

Sarah Haskins in Target Women: Yogurt Edition (May 9, 2008)
Hey ladies, want yogurt? No? Too bad, because yogurt wants you. Sarah Haskins takes on yogurt advertising, from the many flavors of Yoplait to Jamie Lee Curtis and the digestive wonders of Activia.



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One Response to “Chocolate & Yogurt: Sarah Haskins on "Lady Food"”

  1. And what if I love dogs, yoga and yogurt? » V for Vegan: Says:

    […] have become so frequent that even Sarah Haskins – who has poked fun at yogurt ads not once, but twice – cannot keep up with all the […]

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