That’s right, we have another canine birthday in the house! Ralphie, our first-born dog-kid, turned 12 years old today. That’s 69 in dachshund years, he’ll have you know.

He doesn’t look a day over 55, I tell you what.

Normally, I would have spent the day outside with the old boy, letting him walk me ’round the neighborhood, or watching on as he digs for buried treasure (read: carcasses) and whatnot, but he’s on house arrest for the time being. The vet hacked him up good on Thursday, removing a bunch of lymphomas lipomas (!*) (floating fatty deposits, so fun to poke and prod and play with!), cysts, and miscellaneous gross body growths. This is all old hat for him – he’s already had a few (two? three? four? I lose track.) lymphomas lipomas removed previously, but they just keep springing up in the same spot – serendipitously located in his right “armpit,” right where his harness runs under his leg. Once they grow to the size of a large grape, it’s time for another round of slicing and dicing and teeth cleaning.

Even so, this was by far the most growths he’s had removed at once, and I wasn’t at all prepared for the Frankendog who returned home after a day at the veterinarian’s:

It’s hard to make out in these photos (or any one photo, for that matter – so extensive are his injuries!), but Ralphie’s got sutures on his head, under one ear, and on the side of his neck, in addition to the several obvious cuts on his (Buddha) belly. He’s taken it all in stride, though he’s a bit miffed that we won’t let him go outside and dig in the mud. Damn fascists!

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I’m feeling a little strapped for time today, so I’m gonna cheat a little and riff off of Shannon’s latest VeganMoFo post. Instead of Boca Burgers, onions and mushrooms over rice or potatoes, I give you: Boca Burger salad!

Start off by heating a few tablespoons of olive oil over medium heat; toss in a few tablespoons of garlic and sauté until light brown. Add in mushrooms, tomatoes, sundried tomatoes – whatever veggies catch your fancy, basically – along with crumbled Boca Burgers or the faux burger patty of your choice. When done, serve in a bowl over a piece of crumbled, torn-up, or otherwise pulverized piece of freshly baked bread. (Sliced bread won’t cut it, so don’t even try, mkay?) Garnish with mustard, ketchup, hot sauce, Nayonaise, lettuce, tomatoes, Smart Bacon, pickles, relish, and/or whatever else you’d put on a whole “burger” sandwich. Voilà! You’ve just made a Boca Burger salad!

If you’re feeling especially ravenous, eat your salad on a plate (or in an extra-large bowl) with a side of (vegan) french fries, hash browns, mac salad, mac and cheese, baked beans, and/or faux hot dog or sausage links, and you’ve got yourself a homemade Garbage Plate! (Rochester native here, representin’!)

BTW, the Boca-olive-tomato-garlic-mushroom combo tastes divine served over pasta. Just add a little more olive oil than you might otherwise, to dress the pasta up.

Okay, so I’m pretty certain I’ve negated the healthfulness of my previous VeganMoFo posts with this one not-quite-a-recipe. All in a morning’s work! Alka Seltzer, anyone?

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lookoutshane!

Okay, so technically I made this particular batch of hummus, and on the sixth day of VeganMoFo, but wevs. I totes caught that smile tugging at the corners of your mouth, and there’s no taking it back!

Anyhow, I have seriously been jonesing for hummus lately; a few weeks back, I cracked open a jar of black olive hummus that had been languishing in the back of the cupboard for nearly five years – maybe more, who knows – flew through it in a day or two, and have been salivating for another fix since. I’ve been meaning to making my own batch for some time, but have been lacking the necessary culinary confidence…until now!

In Googling for hummus recipes, I quickly came upon a whole page of them on About.com. (Note: not all of the recipes are vegan, but those that aren’t, are easily veganized.) While red pepper and sundried tomato hummus both sound delish, I decided to play it safe my first time around. I had some leftover Kalamata olives gathering frost in the freezer, so the starter recipe really chose me: Kalamata Olive Hummus it was!

I more or less followed the instructions, with a few minor modifications: I omitted the red pepper flakes (I’m a-not-so-spicy!), upped the cumin by a tad, and used a lot more lemon juice – in fact, lemon juice is all I used to thin the hummus out! Because I ran the food processor quite a bit, the olives were pretty much pulverized by the time I was done; if you’d prefer larger olive chunks, wait until you’re almost done taste testing to add them to the mix.

There’s this awesome Middle Eastern bakery/restaurant down the street from my husband’s office; whenever they cater in with the Jerusalem Cafe, the Mr. brings home the extra pita bread and leftover hummus-and-pita sandwiches. I love love love their hummus blend, and imagine that I’ll spend some time trying to replicate it. I think I have the taste down – very lemony – but the texture is tougher: based on my one lone experiment, it doesn’t seem as though I was able to blend the chickpeas into a creamy, even smoothness. I wonder: would cooking them a bit prior to processing help?

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Today was a gorgeous autumn day: warm and sunny, not hot, not cold – the perfect t-shirt weather.

(Lucky for me, the UPS delivery person brought me a shiny new animal rights tee this very afternoon, along with some replacement Dandies and nomnomnom! Go Max Go bars from Vegan Essentials

- but I digress, big time.)

Because it’s also likely that today was the last such day this season (oh 10-day forecast, why must you mock me so?!), I spent much of it outside, doing yard work (redundant much?) while the dog-kids frolicked, burrowed, grazed, lounged. They’re delightfully exhausted now – it was all Rennie could do to lift her head upon hearing Ozzy’s hungry meows echo from down the hallway – and so is their mommy. But whereas those lazy fuckers can nap ’til dawn, I still have a VeganMoFo post to write!

‘Tis a good thing I hit the kitch today. While waiting for the weather to warm this morning, I made the dogs a pot of (Liquid) smokey, (nutritional yeast) cheezy potato soup. Having finished their sweet potato soup yesterday afternoon, I wasn’t left with much of a choice now, was I? (Eat their kibble plain? Blasphemy!) I needed a replacement, and fast. I was too rushed to find and follow a recipe, so I improvised. ‘Twas a success all around – I liked the dish (well, up until I mixed in the nutritional yeast – I’m not a fan), and come lunch time, they gobbled it down with gusto. Maybe your dog-kids would enjoy this gravy on their kibble too?

Cheezy Smokey Potato Soup

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What’s that? 1,001 ways to enjoy oatmeal? Surely I exaggerate! Actually, I think I’m underestimating the many, many ways one can serve a seemingly simple bowl of oatmeal. Don’t believe me? Keep on reading for 123 basic ingredients (most of which come in several different forms, flavors and whatnot) that can allow you to enjoy oatmeal every day for a year – without ever making the same dish twice!

Shane offered to write a script to generate every possible combination of the ingredients I’ve compiled below, but that would be a little much, dontchathink? Not to mention, gross and overwhelming: A bowl of oatmeal with white and brown sugar, agave nectar, maple syrup, chocolate soy milk, chocolate chips, cocoa powder and chocolate-covered soy nuts might very well send you right back to bed with a sugar headache to beat all sugar headaches.

On the other hand, many of the possible (human-generated) combinations sound absolutely delightful:

* Rolled oats cooked in water, sweetened with maple syrup, and garnished with a handful of pecans – the perfect morning pick-me-up!

* Quick oats with vanilla soy milk, a dash of white sugar, and fresh and dried blueberries – yum!

* Chewy rolled oats mixed with peanut butter and strawberry jelly – brown bagging it to the office, anyone?

* Steel-cut oats flavored with a cup of chai tea, sweetened with a squirt of agave nectar, and topped off with a generous serving of cranberries – why aren’t more restaurants on the oatmeal bandwagon, yo!?

At first glance, some of the ingredients I’ve thunk up may strike you as a little odd: marshmallows and chocolate chips in oatmeal!? While I don’t recommend that you make a habit out of marrying oats and jelly beans, candy-decorated oatmeal is a delicious indulgence. And nostalgic, too!: As a kid, I hated oatmeal. Loathed the stuff. Well, the “boring” (read: healthy) “adult” oatmeal, anyhow. When my mom occasionally bought the fun, cartoon-themed, kid-oriented flavors, I downed oatmeal with gusto. I can still remember this one variety of oatmeal (Quaker, probably), which had these little gummy dinosaurs mixed in with the quick oats. Once the “eggs” met with water, the candied exterior dissolved, “hatching” the dino beneath. (From ages 6 through 13, I fancied myself a budding archaeologist, you see.) Ah, memories!

Now that I’m older (and more health-conscious), I no longer eschew “boring” oatmeal. Truth be told, I love the stuff. In fact, VeganMoFo caught me in the middle of an oatmeal kick. I rotate between three morning meals – dry cereal, bagels with fruit preserves, and oatmeal – jumping from a run of one to a run of another, usually on a monthly basis. I’ve been stuck on oatmeal for a few months now, so come to think of it, I’m long overdue for a change. But after this post, I might never eat dry cereal or a bagel for breakfast again! So many possibilities, so quick and simple – and so delicious!

Here’s how I usually do it:

First thing in the morning, I start out with a cup of juice with which to down my morning supplements. Before sitting down with my drink, I get the oatmeal going: I pour about 1 1/2 cups of quick oats into a bowl, sprinkle on a little sugar and cinnamon (purchased separately, but mixed in an old margarine container for maximum efficiency – I’m not too coordinated in the AM!), cover the concoction with some water and/or soy milk, and let it sit for a bit. When I’m ready to eat, I toss in a handful of dried fruit (usually cranberries, cherries, blueberries, and/or apples) and microwave the dish for 60 seconds. Voilà! A hot, nutritious breakfast in less than three minutes!

I especially love how Silk’s seasonal Pumpkin Spice soymilk tastes in oatmeal (and tea!), but alas, the year’s still a little middle-aged for Pumpkin Spice. Well, at least it gives me something to look forward to!

Well, now that I’ve said just about everything there is to say about oatmeal, let’s have a look at those ingredients.

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———- Forwarded message ———-
From: Kinship Circle – info [at] kinshipcircle.org
Date: Sat, Oct 3, 2009 at 8:52 PM
Subject: Lives Shattered In Tsunami, Earthquakes

KINSHIP CIRCLE ANIMAL DISASTER AID NETWORK

www.kinshipcircle.org/disasters/

10/3/09: Lives Shattered In Tsunami, Earthquakes – Asia-Pacific Area

IN THIS ALERT:

1. Six Countries Hit, Millions Displaced In Asia-Pacific
2. PAWS Races To Save Animals In Philippine Floods
3. Animal Welfare Coalition And IFAW Team Up On Land And Water
4. Best Friends’ Rich Crook With IFAW In Hard-Hit Philippines
5. WSPA Sends 3 Veterinarian-Led Response Teams
6. KC Directory: Rescue Groups To Help In Asia-Pacific

Dr. Nielsen Donato reaches Julia. PHOTO: Best Friends Rapid Response, courtesy of Philippine Animal Welfare Society (PAWS), www.paws.org

network.bestfriends.org/groups/rapidresponse/news/post.aspx?ID=13314

This report reflects information Kinship Circle has as of 10/3/09 — and how to support animal response teams in the Philippines, Indonesia and Samoa.

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Today I bring you the first of four vegan food mashups.

(Addicted to Mosaic Maker, me? Crazy talk, I say!)

Behold, sixteen gorgeous vegan masterpieces, complete with sixteen vegan recipes. Simply click through to each photo’s Flickr page for details.

Mini focaccia (#9), chickpea flour pancakes (#6), or Patatas al ajo y cebolla (#16): which to try first?

Choices, choices…

Vegan Food Mashup #3: Vegan Food on Flickr, with Recipes

From left to right, top to bottom, we have:

1. vegan stracciatella,
2. Beet risotto salad with pineapple and peas,
3. Corn Cakes I,
4. Red Pepper Hummus,
5. potato and bean chimichangas,
6. chickpea flour pancakes and coriander chutney,
7. Vegan chocolate oreo cupcakes,
8. tofu mash with walnuts and whole grain bread,
9. mini focaccia,
10. Fajita Sweet Potatoes,
11. Tofu Fish Sticks with Vegan Tartar Sauce,
12. Vegan, Gluten-free Breakfast,
13. vegan cupcakes,
14. vegetus’ vegan carbonara,
15. vegan cupcakes with purple icing,
16. Patatas al ajo y cebolla

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In what’s shaping up to be an annual tradition, the Mr. and I spent the afternoon tramping through stalks of corn at the Liberty Corn Maze. For today’s VeganMoFo post, I’d hoped to share some lovely autumn-themed photos from the maze and its other attractions; cue images of fat, orange pumpkins; juicy, red apples; Halloween decor; steaming cider; maybe even an apple bobbing contest. While the maze itself was fun, I came up empty on photo ops. You see, the Mr. and I have been going to the maze every fall for a few years now, but this is the first time we veered right towards the adjacent pumpkin patch.

Well, come to find out, the farmers running the show expect you to pay for the privilege of purchasing a pumpkin from their enchanted lil’ patch. While the corn maze is the main attraction, they have some other activities set up for the kiddos next door; admission for the two is completely separate. And the patch is part of that second attraction! So even if you want to buy a pumpkin – or, I assume, something to eat – you have to pay a surcharge just to go browse. Weak, right? And if that isn’t bad enough, one of the featured activities – you know, for the children – is pig racing. Ugh. As much as I balked at the prospect of being ripped off, sponsoring animal abuse cinched the deal. No pumpkins this weekend!

So instead, I’m sending out a Very Serious SOS.

Behold, my miscellaneous kitchen utensil drawer:

It’s a fooking mess. Ladles, whisks, ice cream scoopers, Tofurkey basters, spatulas, sporks, knife sharpeners: all in shambles. If a given implement is located in this fright of a drawer, it’s nigh impossible to find what you need, when you need it. And on the off chance that you are lucky enough to find that which you seek, good luck untangling it from all the other junk inside. Tines cling to wire, spoons become ensnared in banana mashers, tongs intertwine with beaters…oy vey! Seriously, there has got to be a better way.

By comparison, my eating utensil drawer looks positively dreamy. Sure, the tray might not fit snugly inside, and maybe the knives jiggle to and fro, but at least I can find a spoon on request. I’ve thought about using similar trays to herd the other utensils into some semblance of organized quietude, but that would probably require a drastic expansion in drawer space – and that’s real estate I simply don’t have. Heck, some of the lesser-used utensils are already languishing in storage for lack of space!

Hey, big time vegan foodie porno blogger peoples – how do y’all store your mishmash of handheld kitchen goodies? Peg boards? Lazy Susans? Toy hammocks? Sustainable-harvested bamboo armoires lined with skeins of crushed red velvet?

HALP!

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I forgot to blog this dish when I made it last month, and it’s a good thing I did! Like a silly little grasshopper, I didn’t think to stockpile any recipes or food posts for VeganMoFo, so I’m running low on ideas. And the unseasonably cold and dreary weather? Not helping. At all.

Guess this average-sized, sometimes-bloated, always-vegan bitch had better hit the kitch, hmmm?

Sundried Tomato & Basil Couscous

Ingredients

1 cup vegetable stock
1/2 cup water + extra as needed
2 teaspoons olive oil
1 teaspoon garlic
2 teaspoon dried basil
1/4 cup chopped parsley
1 cup sundried tomatoes
10 ounces couscous, dry
salt, pepper &/or seasonings of your choice, to taste

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Action Alerts: Animal & Environmental Advocacy

AAVS: Speak Out For Great Apes!

Animal Aid: Act now to help animals in laboratories

Animal Aid: [Pheasant] Shooting petition

Animal Rights @ Change .org: Captive Tigers Languishing in Deplorable Conditions in Cancun

Center for Biological Diversity: Senate Climate Bill: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

DawnWatch: NY Times front page on dairy industry includes info on slaughter 9/29/09

Defenders of Wildlife: Help Save Wild America!; We need your help to ensure America’s last truly wild lands are protected — in every state.

Earthjustice: Coal Ash is Hazardous to Our Health

Farm Sanctuary: Tell the USDA That Factory Farming Isn’t “Natural”

Friends of Kinship Circle, 9/20/09: 11th Hour For California’s Wild Burros And Horses & Little No-Name Mattered. Demand Justice.

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