Sexy Meat, No. 3: Thanksgiving Edition

November 26th, 2009 10:42 am by Kelly Garbato

Suntanned Turkey

Because Thanksgiving just isn’t complete without a side of misogyny to go with all that speciesism! Complementary flavors and all that jazz.

The photo, in case you can’t view it, is of a turkey corpse – excuse me, a “roast” – de-feathered, beheaded, cleaned and cooked. The skin is dark brown in color – save for two sections of “white” skin in the shape of a string bikini. The bird’s wings have been stretched back, grotesquely far, and pinned to “rest” behind her neck. Or her neck stump, rather. She’s not dead, just chillaxing, lounging, catching some rays, working on her tan. (A task which can prove difficult in the dead of November; would that we all had a cozy lil’ oven for a sun lamp!) After all, a lady wants to look good on her big day!

I keep using the pronoun “she” because these feminine trappings clearly convey the message that this turkey is a she, not a he. [Hey now, your manly man of a husband would never eat a dude(ly turkey), am I right now? That’s just gay. (And I use the slur with more than an ounce of sarcasm, just so we’re clear.)] Women, after all, are the consumable objects, the sex class, the pieces of property. Men are the consumers, the johns, the property owners. In a kyriarchy/patriarchy, could it be any other way?

The photo, by the by, is via delish.com,* which considers the “Suntanned Turkey” one of nine “Over-the-Top Thanksgiving Turkeys.” (Incidentally, #4 is a “Lifelike Vegetarian Turkey” from Whole Foods. The cruelty-free feast comes after the “Turducken” and before the “Barbecue Whole Turkey.” Those crazy, tree-hugging, animal-loving, health nut pacifists/terrorists, what will they think of next?!)

Delish offers the following helpful cooking instructions:

Your kitchen — Anytown, USA

With a little aluminum-foil ingenuity, Thanksgiving can be just another day at the beach. Courtesy of the blogs The Whole Enchilada and Raven’s Brain, we found an easy way to surprise your Thanksgiving dinner guests: (1) Cut out aluminum foil in desired swimsuit-inspired shapes. (2) Arrange the turkey in the roasting pan and position the foil carefully. (3) Roast according to your own recipe and serve. (4) Watch your guests’ faces …

I can confidently say that this horror show will never, ever, under any circumstances, play out in my fucking kitchen. Not on Thanksgiving, not on Halloween, not on the day of the Rapture. Never-fucking-ever. The day I begin treating my sisters – human and nonhuman alike – like consumable objects, fucking shoot me and serve me up for dinner in place of an innocent turkey, chicken, cow, pig or fish. My soul, my compassion, my “humanity” – all will already be as good as dead.

Bizarro - Thanksgiving Horror

Again, I wish you a Happy. Fucking. Thanksgiving.

* By way of Shakesville, i.e., the last of the larger progressive/feminist blogs to drop from by radar. My stomach is proving less and less tolerant of specieism, even in small amounts. Besides, I suffer enough of it in the “real world” without seeking it out online. Pft! No want.

[Previous posts in the series: One, two.]

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3 Responses to “Sexy Meat, No. 3: Thanksgiving Edition”

  1. veganprimate Says:

    That is disgusting. And yes, I too am sick of speciesism on feminist sites. The cluelessness is unbelievable.

  2. Molly Says:

    It truly is all quite vile.

  3. Sexy Meat, No. 4: Portrait of the meat as a sex pot. » V for Vegan: easyVegan.info Says:

    [...] In this context, I’m not sure whether these advertisements for Martini Bitter are more or less disturbing than those for Rachachuros and McCormick seasonings or the DIY tutorial for making bikini-clad turkeys. [...]

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