Update, 12/27/10: The bingo cards now have their own page, y’all! View all four cards (and counting) on one page, complete with plain-text versions and links to debunkings and refutations.
After transcribing Brian VanderVeen’s Defensive Omnivore Bingo last week, I decided to try my hand at creating my own version. Since there’s no limit to the inanities thrown at vegans by omnivores, it didn’t take me long to fill up one card and get started on a second. Behold, Defensive Omnivore Bingo II! (Click through to Flickr for a larger version.) Keep an eye out for additional cards in the future; this shit is addictive!
Below the fold, I’ve included a plain-text version of the card for those who can’t view images. Unfortunately, I haven’t had the time to find and link to debukings and refutations of each defensive statement and mythconception; if you have a good resource, feel free to link to it in the comments! *
|“If humans didn’t milk cows, their udders would explode.”||Threatens to eat two animals for every one you save. Then calls you an asshole.||Changes the subject to abortion.||Claims that all/most vegans are skinny / pale / sickly / malnourished / on death’s doorstep.||Claims that all/most vegans are fat / ugly / miserable / unfuckable / on death’s doorstep.|
|Animal rights = trucking licenses for dogs, monkeys who vote, etc.||Insists that vegans cause more deaths than omni’s. Repeats the word “collateral” ad nauseam.||“Hitler was a vegetarian.”||For green cred, points to diet of local / organic/ free range / ‘sustainable’ / grass-fed beef. Also: fish.||Dismisses veganism as “elitist.”|
|“A vegan? Is that like a gay vegetarian?”||Proudly describes his lacto-ovo-vegetarian-before-6 diet. Thinks this makes you BFFs.||Free square: People Eating Tasty Animals (nyuck, nyuck!)||Says that animals are treated better than humans. Points to rich aunt’s Pekingese.||“We protect farm animals from starvation / disease / predation. They owe us.”|
|“You city slickers are all the same. Have you ever even visited a farm!?”||Mysteriously develops a soy allergy.||Equates meat with masculinity: “salad is for girls and sissy boys.”||Describes veganism as a religion / fundamentalist religion / cult.||Wonders whether you expect Bushmen / Eskimos / vampires to eat Tofu Pups.|
|HONEY!||Swears that vegans are always cold. Has never heard of sweaters.||Uses every part of the animal, “just like the Natives.” May also be 1/9th Chickasaw.||“PETA’s Vice President has diabetes and injects herself with insulin.”||Insists that veganism is a type of eating disorder.|
* As you can see, I’ve started adding links to the plain-text card; for those keeping score, the last update was on 2/8/11.