Wishing you a delicious (vegan!) holiday season.

December 24th, 2009 1:11 pm by Kelly Garbato

Since I’m a grumpy, grinchy atheist, the husband (also an atheist, though not as grumpy and grinchy as yours truly) and I celebrate as different kind of winter holiday. Based on the teachings of her Noodleleyness, FSMas is all about pasta and pirates. Which goes a long way towards explaining the cards below.

We’ve been sending out custom holiday cards 2002. For the first few years, we included every animal companion in the photo; easy when you’ve one cat and one dog, right? Once we added Peedee to the family, Ozzy got bumped from the card; and, with the adoption of Kaylee and Jayne, group shots became an impossibility. So we’ve been rotating ever since. (So sad!)

While every dog-kid got his or her due in 2009, Ralphie & Rennie took center stage: they were our cover-doggies, complete with a fierce “Booty & The Beast” theme. I’ll let y’all figure out who is supposed to be “Booty” and who is “The Beast.”

FSMas 2009 - O-Ren & Ralphie are Booty & The Beast

Ignore the glaring age disparity, mkay? Normally I don’t like pairing a young little lassie with a much older gent – seeing as how it’s a reflection of our sexist societal norms – but there’s, like, zero chemistry between the two oldest dogs, Kaylee and Ralphie. Seriously, I could not get the two to sit next to one another for more than 30 seconds at a time. And yes, I might have bucked the hetero trend with a same-sex pairing, but I thought that might have come off as homophobic and/or mockingly emasculating, given the theme. (Yes, holidays are political for me; what of it?)

Each dog also got his or her own card; whereas everyone on our holiday card list received a copy of “Booty & The Beast,” these extras only went out to a few people. (The cost of printing adds up, yo!) Mainly, they were for my amusement.

Because I had so many cute photos of Ralphie – and with different themes, to boot! – he got two outtake cards:

FSMas 2009 - Ralphie Be Sleepy

FSMas 2009 - Ralphie is a Pizza Poop

He’s actually wearing a baby’s pizza slice outfit in that second shot. It kind of looks like a Snuggie, dontchathink? Either way, he hated it; all he could do while wearing it was drag himself around like a baby seal. Don’t worry, though; all the dogs were paid handsomely for their modeling work. Dried cranberries, yum!

Next up is Peedee. His was my favorite shot this year, but seeing as he was last FSMas’s coverdog, I didn’t think it fair to feature him two years in a row.

FSMas 2009 - Peedee Proselytizes

I think Peedee was a model in a previous life; he loves having his picture taken. Work it, Peedee, work it!

Rennie was probably the hardest to photograph this year. She totally wasn’t feeling it; all she wanted to do was chase her tennis ball. Hence the back-to-the-camera pose, which was completely unintentional (but made for great pirate copy, nevertheless).

FSMas 2009 - O-Ren Be Devout

“Savvy,” by the way, is pirate slang for “understand.”

Kaylee’s card is another favorite, awesome in its simplicity: WENCH.

FSMas 2009 - Kaylee Reclaims 'Wench'

Wench is the new bitch which is the new black, you know.

And then there was Jayne; Jayne, whose loathing of the camera only multiples with each passing year.

FSMas 2009 - Jayne is a Member of Colbert Nation

I wonder if the lil’ girl will ever make the cover of our holiday card? Nah, probably not.

Not that she cares.

lol jayne - is not b marry

CHRIST in CHRISTmas, Jayne no want. (Me, either.)

By the by, our FSMas photos and cards are all available for viewing in one big ole collection on Flickr. Instructions for making some of the featured decorations can be found here. Happy crafting.

Until we next meet, Merry FSMas, and a have a kind, compassionate and fulfilling 2010.

And remember: peace starts on your plate, wenches.

Be Sociable, Share!

Filed under , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply