PETA promised me "10 Reasons Why [I] Should Go Naked for PETA"

May 25th, 2010 10:04 pm by Kelly Garbato

…and all I got was this stupid email.

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Gazing at her laptop, loldog is not amused. The caption on this deMotivational poster reads, “EMAIL: Taking all the fun out of attacking a real live mailman.” Image via I Has A Hot Dog! (FWIW, I was tempted to use a PETA-themed deMotivational poster, but couldn’t stomach the sexism and speciesism. They are, however, a good example of what PETA’s nude campaigns really accomplish, particularly among the male demographic advertisers so covet.)
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———- Forwarded message ———-
From: PETA UK
Date: Wed, May 19, 2010 at 5:36 AM
Subject: 10 Reasons Why You Should Go Naked for PETA

Dear Friend,

PETA US launched its “Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur” campaign with the help of the popular rock band The Go-Go’s in 1991 in order to raise awareness of the millions of animals who are trapped, drowned, beaten and electrocuted for their fur. Since then, thousands of compassionate people have bared their bodies for PETA and its affiliates all over the world to help animals in need.

Now you can speak up for animals by participating in PETA campaigns in your area. Just send us an e-mail and attach your photo and contact details for a chance to take part and help save animals!

Animals always need more lovely ladies and gorgeous guys who can draw attention to our campaigns by dressing up as Lettuce Ladies, Broccoli Boys and Shower Guys/Girls and handing out vegetarian food at public events; by participating in our iconic protests; or by taking part in the many other eyebrow-and consciousness-raising events that we coordinate in order to promote animal rights!

Have a Flickr account? Check out some of the people who have volunteered for PETA’s and PETA’s affiliates’ demonstrations!

Ready to get started? Join the likes of Pamela Anderson, Alicia Silverstone and countless others by e-mailing us today and sending us a photo of yourself with your details. We’ll contact you the next time we need someone in your area to bare some skin to help save animals’ skins.

Please be sure to read our terms of submission before sending us your photo.

Sincerely,

PETA

############

[All emphases and links are PETA’s.]

A few initial thoughts:

1. Read, *eyerub*, and reread as I might, I do not see ten compelling reasons why I should “go naked” for PETA (and, by extension, for the animals…allegedly).

What I do see are ten links to ten existing PETA campaigns, demonstrations and advertisements, some of which are just variations on the same theme, and all of which involve nudity.

So, to summarize: I should go naked for PETA because PETA conducts naked demonstrations?

Epic logic FAIL, PETA.

2. Note the repeated requests for interested activists to send photos along with their details, as well as the bolded emphasis on “attach your photo” and “sending us a photo of yourself” in paragraphs two and five.

Shorter PETA: “We want you to help us help the animals – but no uggos, mkay?”

3. Of the linked campaigns, five out of ten feature naked women exclusively (either in groups or singly). The other five include mixed-gendered groups of activists, the overwhelming majority of which are women.

Make of this what you will, but also consider that:

4. PETA mentions both its Lettuce Ladies and Broccoli Boys campaigns in the third paragraph…but only links to an example of the former. Far from unusual and most likely not an oversight, this is par for the course re: how heavily PETA promotes each campaign. So let’s not pretend that the Broccoli Boys are the gender equitable answer to the Lettuce Ladies, kay?

5. Also in paragraph three, the link “Shower Guys/Girls” actually directs the viewer to – wait for it! – a video of four topless (young, white, thin, conventionally attractive and conveniently wet) women participating in a shower demo. See: bullet point #4 re: the disingenuous gender parity that is the Shower Girls vs. Shower Guys campaigns. Hello, tokenism!

6. Shorter TOS: PETA owns you and your artistic intent – from here to eternity – bitches! They are also free to call you a bitch (or cow or hag or whale or whatnot) should they so desire. And they didn’t even have to pay you minimum wage in exchange! Exploitative much?

7. I think I’ll pass, thanks. Probably I’m not up to PETA’s snuff, anyhow, what with my fat, old, ugly, hairy-legged, feminazi, hag-of-the-hags self and all.

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4 Responses to “PETA promised me "10 Reasons Why [I] Should Go Naked for PETA"”

  1. meerkat Says:

    On the topic of not wanting uggos on your side, I went to a Q&A at a vegan Earth Day event, and one lady asked, “Won’t it stunt your children’s growth if they don’t eat any meat?” and I wanted to say, “Look at me, I was vegetarian from birth and I’m pretty tall,” but I didn’t because I was afraid the lady would assume something was horribly wrong with me because I am fat :(

  2. Kelly Garbato Says:

    Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

    FWIW, meerkat, I’d invite you to a demo any time :)

  3. Intersectionality ‘Round the Interwebs, No. 23: lolz the douche away. » V for Vegan: easyVegan.info Says:

    […] structure, and primarily seems interested in displaying the bodies of female celebrities and would-be models. Given these differences, which group do you think more likely to value and respect the opinions, […]

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