Update, 8/3/10: www.schlongs4seals.com is live! I’m still working on the interactive photo gallery and discussion features, but the blog is functional (and has already logged more posts in August than I was able to write here in all of July) and all of the other pages are done. Also, I’ve uploaded all my schlong-related artwork to a set of photo pages as a temporary solution whilst I hunt the internets for a shiny piece of WP-compatible photo gallery software.

Leads for said software would be both awesome and appreciated!

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Update, 7/14/10: www.schlongs4seals.com is now mine. Muahahahaha! (At the time of this writing, the domain just redirects back to this post, but still: Muahahahaha!) Stay tuned for details!

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Update, 7/13/10: I just received a notice that Facebook deleted my SCHLONGS4SEALS page because:

You created a Page that has violated our Terms of Use. A Facebook Page is a distinct presence used solely for business or promotional purposes. Among other things, Pages that are hateful, threatening, or obscene are not allowed. We also take down Pages that attack an individual or group, or that are set up by an unauthorized individual. If your Page was removed for any of the above reasons, it will not be reinstated. Continued misuse of Facebook’s features could result in the permanent loss of your account.

So, just to recap: serious requests for women to send in their tit shots “for the animals” = a-okay; satirical requests for men to send in their crotch shots “for the animals” = hateful, threatening and/or obscene. Facebook, I do believe you hate women!

Anyhow, I’m currently weighing my options, which look rather slim at the moment. I could try setting up a similar page, but then I risk having my account disabled – a hassle which just isn’t worth it. Flickr might prove more welcoming to a SCHLONGS4SEALS group – I mean, hey, it’s home to entire groups dedicated to sexually harassing upskirt photos (!) – and indeed, the faux PSAs I created are all safe and sound in their own lil’ Flickr collection. But, you know, different social media sites, yada yada yada. My final and grandest idea is to go Thatchers out and launch an entire SCHLONGS4SEALS spoof website. Which sounds great, but OMG I so do not have the free time!

So, we shall see. In the meantime, if you’re on FB and find this whole affair as despicable as do I, why not hop on over to that *other* page and report it for similarly violating FB’s TOS? Seeing as most of us are either women or have friends who are women, might I suggest choosing “targets me or a friend” from the drop-down menu, as this continued objectification of women most certainly constitutes “an attack on an individual or group.” Please and thank you.

A screenshot, taken on 6/26/10, of the “Support For The Seals!” Facebook page. The image shows a fan photo – which has since been deleted – submitted to the page by Petra Simkova, in which the wearer of a pair of white undies (men’s briefs?) is flashing what JK Rowling would oh-so-demurely call a “rude gesture” at the camera. In other words, what we have here is an exaggerated crotch shot and a middle finger – all in all, an adequate summary of my feelings towards Facebook and Michael McDade (aka SeaL Shepherd).
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Update, 7/3/10: If you’d like to participate, but don’t have a Facebook account, not to worry! Just send me your package @ easyvegan [at] gmail.com and I’ll upload it as an admin. You can choose to remain anonymous OR be credited (with a link back to your blog or site), whichever you prefer!

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A bottom-less Pamela Anderson strikes a flirty pose as she models PETA’s ‘Save the Seals’ tee. The shirt is all-white save for a black sketch of a fuzzy-wuzzy seal on its front. The ad’s copy reads, “What do I have in common with Barack Obama, Vladmir Putin and the Dalai Lama? We all oppose the massacre of baby seals. It’s time to end Canada’s shameful slaughter.” And, in red and gray text: “Pamela Anderson for PeTA” and “SAVETHESEALS / END CANADA’S SEAL SLAUGHTER.”
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Over the weekend, I was browsing a few friends’ Facebook feeds when I happened upon Support For The Seals!. Purportedly, the page aims to “raise awareness” about seal hunting in Newfoundland – by (wait for it!) encouraging female fans to post photos of their tits:

Boobs for seals…did he just write that? Yes he did. Show your “support” for the seals!

1) Suggest to 100 friends! (link above)

2) More friends = more boobs = more support for the seals!

Much thanks to these brave ladies! Get your mammos!

Now, if I wasn’t already suffering from blog fatigue, I might offer a coherent vegan/feminist critique of this so-called “campaign” (scare quotes because it reads more like a Girls Gone Wild casting/sexploitation call); and, knowing me, this essay would clock in at no less than 2,000 words. Probably it would contain a good deal of salty language, and not a few references to “the kyriarchy” and “intersectionality.”

For example, I might begin my rant with a brief analysis of the “post your bra color for breast cancer” Facebook campaign on which Support For The Seals! is based, arguing that it:

1) trivialized breast cancer by making it all about the boobies (instead of, you know, life or fucking death);

2) excluded some actual breast cancer survivors from participating (i.e., those who have undergone double mastectomies have little need for bras; insensitive much?);

3) played into cultural memes which reduce women to body parts (What, no “boxers or briefs” campaign for testicular cancer? No, that would be silly!); and

4) did little to actually raise awareness of the issues surrounding breast cancer (Dietary and environmental risk factors, anyone? Time to drop the I word, methinks!), thus transforming the well-intentioned but misguided effort into a day of titillation for Facebook’s (heterosexual, sexist) male members.

I might also argue that Support For The Seals! is infinitely worse than the aforementioned breast cancer campaign, as a) it involves actual photos of actual women’s actual breasts, whereas b) the link between the objectified body part and the cause it’s supposed to further is much, much more tenuous (nonexistent, you might say).

I might point out that, practically speaking, this page does little more than provide a bunch of internet pervs with additional wanking material (as if they’ve a need for more, amiright ladies?); certainly, it does nothing to actually “raise awareness” about Canadian seals and the many threats they face, nor does it provide concrete assistance (material support, monetary donations, volunteer pledges, etc.) to those working to end seal hunting.

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At first glance, this book review might seem a bit out of place on an animal rights blog (even one written by a vegan feminist), but grumble not!: Animal advocacy does make a cameo near the end.

“I’ll be a post-feminist in the post-patriarchy.”

The book cover for Reclaiming the F Word: The New Feminist Movement depicts a “We Can Do It!”-style tough woman, complete with kerchiefed head, rolled sleeves and flexed bicep. The cover’s background is shaded a subtle gray, and most of the text is white – save for the “F” in “F Word” (which is neon green) and “The New Feminist Movement” (vibrant purple).
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Spurred by the disconnect between the mainstream media’s treatment of feminism (depending on the source, feminism is: dead; outdated; a fad that’s passed; bad for your health; an utter failure; and/or proven so successful that it’s outlived its usefulness) and the “vibrant feminist movement” that they bear daily witness to, UK-based feminists Catherine Redfern and Kristin Aune decided to investigate and document the “new feminist movement.” Redfern – founder of The F-Word, a website dedicated to issues of contemporary UK feminism – and Aune – a sociology professor who teaches courses on feminism, gender and religion – surveyed 1,265 UK feminists in order to assess their thoughts on sexism and feminism and compare these to the demands made by their “second-wave” foremothers.* The results appear in the soon-to-be-published Reclaiming the F Word: The New Feminist Movement (July 6, 2010), along with a cogent introduction to the “third-wave” feminist movement. (The survey results are also available at www.reclaimingthefword.net.)

Redfern and Aune open the discussion by identifying the seven demands made by feminists meeting at Oxford’s Ruskin College annually throughout the 1970s:

1. Equal pay now

2. Equal education and job opportunities

3. Free contraception and abortion on demand

4. Free 24-hour nurseries

5. Financial and legal independence

6. An end to all discrimination against lesbians; assertion of a woman’s right to define her own sexuality

7. Freedom from intimidation by threat or use of violence or sexual coercion, regardless of marital status; and an end to all laws, assumptions and institutions which perpetuate male dominance and men’s aggression towards women.

While feminists have made significant progress on many of these issues, clearly there’s still much work to be done. For example, while legislation regarding rape and sexual assault has improved in both the UK and the US, women (particularly women of color, women with disabilities, trans women, children, etc.) are still physically and sexually victimized in great numbers – both by male perpetrators, and again by a culture fraught with rape apologism and a largely uncompassionate judicial system. Thus, it should come as no great surprise that contemporary feminists voice similar concerns some forty years later.

Based on the responses they received, as well as their own knowledge of current feminist activism and writing, Redfern and Aune group the interests of the “new feminist movement” into seven themes, in homage to the Ruskin College feminists’ seven stated demands:

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Back in March, Farm Sanctuary came to the rescue of six calves who were left to starve at a farm in Pottsville, Pennsylvania. Some were left tethered to a tractor, while others were found locked in a garage; all were abandoned by their “owner.”* Most likely castoffs of the dairy industry, the calves were weak, frail and sickly and required immediate medical care:

After learning about the suffering calves, Farm Sanctuary immediately launched a rescue effort, and staff drove to pick up the calves halfway between the Pennsylvania farm and our New York Shelter. The calves we greeted were a terrible sight. Their eyes were sunken in from severe dehydration, and they were pale, coughing and extremely weak. They were fighting life-threatening infections, and most were unable to stand on their own. Four of the calves weighed less than they would have at birth, and their prognosis looked grim. Medical care was urgently needed to stabilize the calves, so our rescue team rushed them to the Cornell University Hospital for Animals for critical emergency care.

The following weeks were filled with constant care and anxious waiting as these sickly calves struggled to become well. But slowly, their fragile, battered bodies began to heal, and, in time, each came home from the hospital.

Though their lives began in violence and suffering, these babies are now safe, valued and loved. And in need of a forever home!: Farm Sanctuary is currently looking for one or more individuals to adopt dear Jasper, Sasha, Filipe, Teddy, Amigo and Pancho – as well as Vito and Clancy, two young Holstein steers who managed to escape from their captors before finding Farm Sanctuary. Thanks to Farm Sanctuary (as well as the Hillside SPCA and an anonymous tipster), these someones now have names whereas only numbers hinted at their unique, individual identities before. They are so much more than cogs in a capitalist machine, or producers of milk and flesh. They are sons, brothers, friends.

If you are willing and able to adopt any of these sweethearts (all of whom must be rehomed in pairs), you can find contact information and addition details here.

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Update, 7/4/10: Upon reaching the bottom of the bowl (which happened several weeks ago, fwiw), I discovered that this potato salad recipe makes way more “sauce” than you’ll need. So you’ll either want to toss in a few extra potatoes. OR. (And this may be a radical suggestion.) Proceed as directed, and use the extra sauce thusly: 1) as a dip for potato chips (it transforms plain ole chips into a yummy DIY salt and vinegar flavor – and makes salt and vinegar chips that much more pucker-y; or 2) as an improv baked potato topping. Whichever you choose, total NOMness will ensue!

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‘Cuz nothing screams “happy summertime, vegan bitches!” like egg-free potato salad! Except, maybe, an offensive PETA billboard, conveniently erected beachside so as to anger as many vacationers as possible. Potato, potahtoe.

This recipe is based on the super-yummy – but disappointingly pickle-deficient – Perfect Summertime Potato Salad recipe from VegWeb.

“Tastes Like Pickles!” Potato Salad

Ingredients

6 large russet potatoes (or an equal amount of red potatoes)
1/4 red onion
6 large carrots, divided in half (3 and 3)
1 to 2 large dill pickles (or 4 to 6 large spears)
1/4 cup pickle “juice” (i.e., the liquid in the pickle jar)
1 to 1 1/4 cups vegan mayonnaise (Veganaise or similar)
3 to 4 teaspoons yellow mustard
2 tablespoons dill (fresh or in a jar)
1 tablespoon sea salt
salt and pepper to taste

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Pages 206 and 207 of Anna Lappé’s latest book, Diet for a Hot Planet (Bloomsbury, March 2010). Principle #2 in her “Seven Principles of a Climate-Friendly Diet” is “Put Plants on Your Plate.” So far, so good, yes? Not so fast! Under “Resources for Principle 2,” Lappé lists the following bullet points: “Viva veggies”; “Support real meat and dairy farmers”; and “Go for grass fed [beef].” Epic Animal, Vegetable, Mineral FAIL.
(Click through to enbiggen the image, the most offensive parts of which I have helpfully marked up with my trusty red Photoshop pen.)
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Nonhuman animals (“meat” and “beef”) and their secretions (“milk”) are not plants, mkay? Unlike, say, pinto beans or watermelon, “beef” has a family and friends; can think, feel and suffer; and screams bloody fucking murder when you cut into its her live flesh. While it’s true that I’ve become all too accustomed to raw, shameless speciesism from environmentalists -

- for example, I just finished reading Eaarth, which was penned by the same stubborn “green” omnivore who penned the intro to your own latest stubbornly non-vegan “green” tome, in which he mentioned vegetarianism but twice (and veganism, not at all), despite a discussion of animal agriculture’s sizable contribution to climate change, i.e., the very focus of his book -

- your recommendation to adopt a plant-heavy diet by consuming animals and animal by-products is beyond mind-boggling; it’s at once factually incorrect and completely lacking in compassion. (Cows as cantaloupes? Hello, objectification!)

I mean, really – how do you expect me to take the rest of your Diet for a Hot Planet seriously after such a fundamental gaffe?

Signed,

x A vegan-feminist environmentalist

P.S. There is no such thing as “humane meat.” An unnecessary and involuntary death is, by definition, inhumane.

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Via the Huffington Post, which led with the following commentary:

When it comes down it, we all want to be like this tortoise. The kind of person that goes around saving lives and doing good deeds just for the hell of it. But the unfortunate reality is that we can’t all be heroes. And that’s what this tortoise is.

Oh, my darling grasshopper! Of course you can be a hero – every day! You can start by going vegan; vegans spare the lives of about 100 nonhuman animals every year.

And that’s just on your plate! Look around, open your eyes, and you’ll find plenty of opportunities to do good deeds. Yesterday, for example, I saved six worms – who would have otherwise died of dehydration on my patio, after the recent rain evaporated – simply by relocating them ten feet to a nearby dirt-filled planter.

Six worms may not seem like much, but I’m sure it meant the world to them. And it took me all of three minutes.

(In case you can’t view the 99-second video, here’s the rundown: as one tortoise lays struggling on his back, a second tortoise comes to his aid; she pushes and “head-butts” the side of his shell until he’s flipped back upright. The two then proceed to walk away from the videographer together, the second tortoise following the first, as if to ensure that he really is alright after the harrowing incident.)

I can’t see the point in women being equal to men if men are not equal to each other. *

Yes!

And also:

I can’t see the point in nonhuman animals being equal to humans if humans are not equal to each other.

Think about it.

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In a recent plea for donations, Kinship Circle wondered whether the earthquake (and resulting tsunami) in Chile has become “the forgotten disaster” – in a year filled with both natural and man-made catastrophes:

IS CHILE THE FORGOTTEN DISASTER? May, 2010: An evacuee camp in Talquahano wants to kill all its companion animals. People who lost everything in an 8.8 earthquake and tsunami can’t feed themselves. They don’t want to watch their animals starve.

Kinship Circle and SACH intervene with food and veterinary aid. But without more funding, we can’t possibly meet the needs of 30 tent camps along Chile’s coast. We run out of sutures, latex gloves… At times we can’t afford the van rental to ferry our team, vet supplies and food.

Still, we can’t let despair propel Chileans to shoot their own animals. This speaks volumes about Chile’s quake/tsunami victims…and how the world seems to have forgotten them. People assume they can recover on their own. They’re wrong, especially when it comes to animals.

WHY IS THIS URGENT AND WHOM WILL IT HELP? Homeless guardians are unable to supply food or medicine to their animals. In the short term, animals require treatment for gashes, broken bones, lost limbs, dehydration, mange, worms, parasites or other illness. In the longer term, they need vaccines, nutrition and sterilization. Pre-quake strays with mange, malnutrition, infection…blend with animals stranded by disaster. The are scattered by the thousands along quake/tsunami torn towns like Villa Futura, Santa Clara Talchuano, Calita il Fiernillo, and Calita Los Morros, etc.

Preceded by the Haitian earthquake and followed by the BP oil “spill,” the Chilean earthquake hasn’t garnered as much attention as it might have otherwise. Indeed, though I compiled link roundups for all three disasters, the Chilean post has attracted the least traffic of the three, with views falling quickly mere weeks after the earthquake. Currently, the Haitian post receives x5 as many views as its Chilean counterpart, even though it’s two months older. Likewise (and outside of my own little slice of the interwebs), I cannot remember the last time I saw coverage of the earthquake in Chile on CNN, MSNBC, or the like. (Possibly not more than a week or two after the disaster struck?)

All of which isn’t to suggest that the survivors in Haiti and the Gulf Coast are not deserving of your support; not at all! Since most of us have limited funds and time, picking and choosing a cause or two to donate to can be a difficult, heartbreaking task. But if you have a little extra cash to spare, please consider sending it to help the survivors in Chile who have been hit doubly hard – first by the earthquake and tsunami, and later by donor fatigue.

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Raising her sword to Grayskull, LOL She-Ra demands, “I Can Haz Equal Rights?” & as long as we’re taking requests, the lady would like a NOMy vegan meal, too. (She’s a Shegan, yo!)
CC image via Brett L. on Flickr.
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The Boston Globe: Men leave their own mark on veganism and

vegansaurus!: He-gan woman-haters club!

Men + vegans = hegans. (Get it!?) Specifically, hegans are “men in their 40s and 50s embracing a restrictive lifestyle to look better, rectify a gluttonous past, or cheat death.” (Or, alternately, hegans are the latest faux-trend created by the newspaper industry in order to 1) hawk their wares and/or 2) avoid reporting on actual news. Be your own decider person.)

Though I prefer the term “hegan” to its predecessor, “femivore” (which, as a word, makes zero sense), it’s still kind of bullshit: in describing this ‘new breed’ of manly vegan men, Pierce is setting up a false dichotomy that portrays ‘regular’ vegan dudes (and women, too) as effeminate, weak and sentimental (‘pussies, queers and commies,’ as hegans might say). Also: paint with a broad brush much? Veganism is a diverse movement, and any attempt to pigeonhole such a large segment of the population is misguided at best. (See above, re: creating news where there is none.)

That said, I have a counter-proposal: shegan. More complex an equation than “women + vegans = shegans,” shegans as I envision them are feminist vegans of all sexes and genders (and/or feminist-allied vegan men, if you prefer) who reject sexism and misogyny as vehemently as they do speciesism. Dog knows we could use a little more sheganism, particularly since this is quickly shaping up to be the summer of the hegan douchebag.

Vegan Feminist Agitator: The PETA Effect

A lovely essay from Marla in which she manages to deconstruct the bulk of PETA’s campaigns in one fell swoop. To wit:

The PETA Effect has come into existence because they have cynically decided to not only accept the terms dictated by the worst aspects of the mainstream world, but to be a part of it. Instead of questioning misogyny, they wallow in it. Instead of thoughtful, insightful analysis, they have women citing statistics while stripping on camera. Instead of rejecting the notion that we all need to be young, slim, and, more often than not, surgically enhanced to be attractive, they embrace it fully, and they also tell us that objectification for the “cause” is a worthy endeavor. They tell a nation already deeply battered by this message that if you are not young, slim and conventionally attractive, you are worthless and disgusting. What does this have to do with compassion to animals? How does this improve a battery chicken’s life? How does this make the skeptical public more receptive to questioning their values? It doesn’t.

Seriously, go read the whole piece. I can wait.

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