your annual criFSMas update

December 17th, 2010 11:59 pm by Kelly Garbato

Even though I rarely blog here anymore – V for Vegan is my main space now – I’d planned on posting a few more FSMas tutorials in the days leading up to December 25th. Alas, exhaustion and burnout from veganmofo iv, coupled with the foolhardy decision to make many of my gifts by hand this year, have pretty much blown that plan out of the water. (Oh, the boiling, pasta-filled water. FSMas NOM!)

But seeing as I’ve already taken and uploaded a number of photos, it’d be a shame not to at least throw up a photo essay. So here’s a sampling of this year’s decorations. You can view the entire set on Flickr, along with those from years past. The dogs’ annual criFSMas humiliation is forthcoming – they deserve their own post, dontchathink?

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The “pirate altar” in our front window features a mix of relevant books, framed flying spaghetti monster photos, pirate accessories, pasta decor, gold tinsel and doubloons, and sparkly flying spaghetti monsters.
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A closer look at book collection #1, which consists of vegan/vegetarian/Italian cookbooks (including Cathe Olson’s Lick It!, which I snagged in a veganmofo contest) and – of course – a copy of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
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Adorned with an adorable skull, this pirate knife is perfect for breaking vegan bread! Red bows complement the color palette.
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Displayed in a frame decorated with pasta (garden rotini and farfalle, to be exact), this photo of the Flying Spaghetti Monster depicts her Noodleyness spreading the saucy word. A skull-topped pirate’s chest, filled to overflowing with gold coins, sits off to the right.
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The queen of the festivities, this burgundy criFSMas bear pirate rests on her perch of (mostly) vegan/vegetarian cookbooks. Note the pirate hat, dreadlocks and swanky golden pipe cleaner hook!
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A closeup shot of the pirate altar’s main book pile. Most of the cookbooks are vegan or vegetarian, save for a few of the larger tomes at the bottom of the stack. These are from my pre-veg days and are included strictly for the added height they provide.
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In another macaroni-lined photo, a flying spaghetti monster is shown visiting a crucified Jesus. Probably she comforted him with vegan mac & cheese in his time of need. Daiya is divine, is it not? A glass Christmas tree filled with garden rotini sits off to the side.
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Book pile #3 is the pirate collection. On this too-small stack sits a portrait of our FSM as painted by Edvard Munch. A baby monster hovers above, admiring the portrait approvingly.
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Two of the many festive, sparkly holiday flying spaghetti monsters that haunts my heathen home ’round the holidays. Learn how to summon your own monsters using nothing but pipe cleaners, poms and googly eyes here.
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The mecha-mega-monster, which is made of pairs of regular-sized pipe cleaners twisted together at the ends. Craft stores such as Michaels do sell extra-large pipe cleaners, but I’ve yet to find any ginormous ones that SPARKLE. (Everyone knows that criFSMas monsters sparkle, like duh.) / Pirate altar.
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Throwbacks from my childhood! A very old and tattered Santa Clause holds a stocking with my name on it. Cue the awwwws.
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A baby spaghetti monster shown in her natural pirate hat habitat. So cute! And she’s even got an extra set of balls! Perhaps she’d be willing to loan a set to President Obama?
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Eeyore the pirate is partying like it’s 1725!
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The filing cabinet in our office is adorned with a number of (mostly) homemade magnets. These include photos of the flying spaghetti monster, Captain Jack Sparrow, and the crew of the Serenity (SPACE PIRATES!), all found ’round the internets, as well as past holiday cards. On top of the cabinet you can see the adorable-yet-pitiable Charlie Brown tree my mom gifted us last year; under it sits stuffed holiday Hello Kitty and Pochacco dolls. (Did you know that Pochacco is, in point o’ facts, A VEGETARIAN!? Neither did I, ’til about ten seconds ago.)
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The fridge is also home to a number of DIY magnets.
You can find instructions for making your own here.
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This year, our criFSMas tree features a mix of traditional and Pastafarian decorations: “garland” strands made of pasta (penne, to be exact); red and white lights; and ornaments both handmade and store-bought, including lots of pieces featuring nonhuman animals and pasta. Next to the tree sits our criFSMas terraist pirate, all decked out in a domestic terrorist apron (fresh from Green is the New Red), pirate hat and treasure pouch (perfect for plundering and looting!). At her feet sits a skull & bones goblet, matching dagger, and a massive treasure chest. (Unfortunately, the only treasure it contains is our hammock, retired for the year.)
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A more natural-looking FSM made of raffia tops the 2010 tree. I’ve yet to streamline the creation of this type of monster – raffia can be frustrating to work with, yo!
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Noodles on a cross! Sweet Jeebus, do I love this door hanger.
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The tree, all lit up after dark. (The doubles you see in the first photo is due to the windowed wall in front of which the tree is positioned.) Peace and pasta were the working themes in 2010.
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Last but not least, the staging of the tree for our annual canine criFSMas cards. The first day’s photo shoot, which sadly bombed (pun sooooo! intended!), featured the domestic terrorist apron as its centerpiece. The idea was solid; its execution, not so much – I tried to cram way too much into the frame and failed miserably. On day #2, we ditched the apron and weird spoon-paddle thingies in favor of pirate swag and book piles galore. Yeah, that’s the stuff!
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Homemade peanut butter cups (top), along with peanut butter bites made using the leftover filling (bottom) – perfect for gift baskets and NOMING while decorating alike! Recipe via VegWeb.
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Homemade rocky road chocolate bark (made with roasted almonds and Dandies marshmallows), also for gifting.
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For the dogs in my life: a triple batch of Pumpkin Pie Biscuits. (These smell so good, y’all! You will seriously get a NOM high whilst baking them.) Rennie WANTS! Recipe courtesy It’s A Vegan Dog’s Life.
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Holy kitchen disasters, Catwoman!
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Meanwhile, Kaylee and Ralphie lurk in the background, waiting patiently for a dropped or neglected foodstuff to roll their way. They have three eyes between them, you know.
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