Readers of His Dark Materials get their first taste of chocolatl when, in The Golden Compass, Marisa Coulter uses the sweet, hot drink to lure unsuspecting children into the hands of the Gobblers – more commonly known as the General Oblation Board, a research arm of the church which conducts unthinkable experiments on children and their daemons. (See the excerpt below. Yes, I included an excerpt! ALWAYS QUOTE PHILIP PULLMAN.) A favorite of children and adults alike, “chocolatl” is what people in Lyra’s world call hot chocolate or, more generally, chocolate.

Since I experimented with marzipan ice cream earlier this month, I decided that it’d only be fair to give chocolatl the frozen treatment too. (“Chocolatl.” “Chocolatl.” It just rolls off the tongue, no?) Plus, Chicago Soydairy is totally running a veganmofo contest: create “something amazing” with Dandies, enter to win a year’s supply of the white, puffy stuff. How could I resist? (Answer: I could not. I WAS POWERLESS.)

idk if double chocolate marshmallow ice cream, topped with crumbled graham crackers and even more marshmallows counts as “something amazing” – but given this dessert’s backstory, I’d like to think that it’s “something charming,” at the very least. I hope you agree!

(…and then go pick up a copy of His Dark Materials, stat. I need some fellow heathen vegans to geek out with over Lyra & Will and Mary & the mulefa and the witches and Iorek & Lee and Baruch & Balthamos and dust and the deaths and Xaphania SO BAD IT HURTS! ON A PHYSICAL LEVEL, for reals.)

If not, perhaps the variations for S’mores Ice Cream and S’mores Ice Cream Sammies will do the trick? (I know, bury the lede much?) Three desserts in one!
 

 
Frozen Chocolatl (i.e., “Chocolate Marshmallow Ice Cream” in Will’s world)

Ingredients

1 cup soy milk (plain or vanilla), divided
2 cups soy creamer (plain or vanilla)
2 tablespoons arrowroot powder
3/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup cocoa powder
1 cup vegan chocolate chips
30 Dandies marshmallows, divided
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1/4 cup vegan chocolate bark or chocolate chips (optional)
Chocolate sprinkles, chocolate chips, Dandies and/or crumbled graham crackers to garnish (optional)

Directions

1. In a small bowl or mug, combine 1/4 cup of the soy milk with the arrowroot powder. Whisk briskly and set aside.

2. In a saucepan, combine the remaining 3/4 cup of the soy milk with all of the soy creamer and sugar. Whisk briskly over medium heat. Add the cocoa powder and whisk until blended. Add the chocolate chips and one half of the marshmallows and stir until they’re melted. Increasing the heat, bring to a slow boil, stirring constantly.

3. Once the mix begins to boil, remove from heat and add the arrowroot “slurry.” This will cause the batter to thicken noticeably. Add the vanilla extract and mix well. Chill in the fridge for four to six hours or more prior to processing in an ice cream machine. (Usually I prefer to let the batter chill overnight.)

4. Process the batter according to your ice cream machine’s directions. Add the remainder of the Dandies to the batter while it’s processing – earlier in the cycle for smaller bits, later for larger chunks. Ditto: the chocolate bark (or chips). (If you’re afraid of gumming up your machine, you can add them after the batter’s done processing, as you’re dispensing the ice cream. In this case, you’ll need to dice the Dandies by hand.) When done processing, transfer to an airtight container.

5. Serve immediately for soft serve or pop in the freezer for an hour+ for a more solid dessert.

6. Along with vegan sprinkles, chocolate chips, and/or graham crackers, use those extra Dandies for topping. Assuming you didn’t scarf them while waiting for the ice cream to freeze, that is!

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There’s a chill in the air and a nip at my nose, and we’re slowly coming to the point at which I can’t leave the house with wet hair lest I end up walking around with an icicle helmet on my head. Winter, must you come again so soon?

The only upside to this cold weather that I can see – sweat pants and baggy sweaters excepted – is hot soup and hotter chocolate. Let’s concentrate on the soup today, mkay? This one’s a vegan version of the perennial classic, Chicken Noodle. I’ve been fantasizing about it ever since VegNews published a version on its blog a few months back. (Or at least I thought I saw one over there; I can’t seem to find it now. Brain freeze, I think it came early this year!)

This recipe is pretty standard; I found similar versions on Chow Vegan, Choose Veg and The Vegetarian Times, and tweaked them to my own fussy liking. Even though I loathe the stuff, I left celery in the recipe, because chances are that you dig it. But my protest, I’m registering it. I WOULD RATHER BE SHOT IN THE FACE THAN EAT THIS STUPID FOOD.

The celery, I mean. The Vegan Chicken Noodle Soup? Warms the soul, baby (yours and the chicken’s!).

 
Vegan Chicken Noodle Soup for the Animal Lover’s Soul

Ingredients

2 tablespoons olive oil
1 onion, finely diced
1 medium leek, white and a little of the green part, sliced into 1/8″ thick rounds
2 or 3 carrots, sliced into 1/8″ thick rounds
2 celery stalks, sliced (optional; I HATE CELERY!)
8 cups vegan chicken broth (either 8 cups of water mixed with the appropriate amount of vegan chicken base bouillon – chooseveg.com recommends Osem and Telma brands – or 8 cups premade liquid broth, e.g., Imagine Foods Organic No Chicken Broth)
2 bay leaves
1 teaspoon onion powder
2 tablespoons parsley
6 to 8 ounces of vegan chicken strips, diced (e.g., Gardein Chick’n Filets or Morningstar Farms Chik’n Strips)
6 ounces dry fettuccine, broken into 2-inch pieces (about 3/4 cup)
salt and pepper to taste

Directions

1. Heat the olive oil in a large pot on medium heat. Add the onions and leeks and sauté until almost translucent. Add the carrots and celery and sauté for another five minutes, or until almost tender.

2. Add the bouillon broth, onion powder, salt and pepper and bay leaves. Increase the heat and bring the soup to a boil, then reduce to medium and simmer for five minutes or so.

3. Add the Gardein chick’n filets, parsley and noodles. Increase the heat and bring the soup to a boil a second time, then reduce the heat and let simmer for ten minutes, or until the noodles are tender.

4. Serve warm, but remember to remove the bay leaves first!

We forgot the soup crackers, but the impromptu garlic toast tasted even better. Happy accidents!
 

 
What! You didn’t think that I’d be able to stay away from sweets entirely, did you? Coconut and chocolate, chocolate and coconut – they go together like…well, like me and pizza! Or me and dogs! Or me and pizza dogs! (And that, my friends, is how magnets work.)

Anyhow, enough with the silliness. Desserts are a serious biz. And this one hits the coconut trifecta: coconut milk, coconut extract and shredded coconut (in the brownies, frosting and garnishments, respectively), all without overpowering the dessert. For this Iron Chef Challenge, I started with one of my favorite brownie recipes, replacing the soy milk with coconut milk. As it turns out, this didn’t make a huge diff, as the original recipe only calls for 1/4 cup of soy milk. If you want the brownies to have a stronger coconut flavor (or any coconut flavor at all), try adding in a teaspoon or two of coconut extract. (Likewise, if you don’t have any coconut milk on hand, just use soy or almond!)

In contrast, 1/2 a teaspoon of coconut extract goes a long way in the buttercream frosting, giving it a sweet – but subtle – taste of coconut. Top it all off with sweetened, shredded coconut and chocolate sprinkles (vegan, of course!) and you’ve got yourself a triple coconut, triple chocolate masterpiece.

Also: a sugar hangover headache the next morning. BUT SO WORTH IT!

 

 
Chocolate Chip Brownies with Coconut Buttercream Frosting

Ingredients

…for the brownies

1/2 cup canola oil
1/2 cup maple syrup
1/4 cup coconut milk
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 teaspoon coconut extract (optional)
1/2 cup unbleached white flour
1/2 cup whole wheat pastry flour
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1/2 cup cup sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup vegan chocolate chips

…for the buttercream frosting

1/4 cup nonhydrogenated shortening
1/4 cup nonhydrogenated margarine
1 cup powdered sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon coconut extract

coconut shreds and chocolate sprinkles to garnish

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Upon setting eyes on this week’s Iron Chef Challenge ingredient – coconut! – my mind immediately went to sweets. Coconut ice cream! (Talk about your no-brainers.) Raw coconut balls! Chocolate chip cookies coated in coconut shreds! Chocolate coconut candy, à la Almond Delights! Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate! Oh, the possibilities!

And then reality set in and I opted for practicality – which, for someone with two bags of salad in the fridge set to expire soon, equals salad dressing. Coconut and lime are a natural pairing, so coconut and lime it was. Silken tofu and coconut milk form the base of this dressing, while lemon and lime juice give it that sweet tropical kick. Add in a splash of coconut extract for a little extra coco-nuttiness, and you’re good to go!

You can either use this as a salad dressing – in the picture above, it’s nestled on a bed of leafy greens, along with some shredded carrots, cashews and vegan chicken strips (Morningstar Farms Chik’n Strips, leftovers from the Vegan Chicken Noodle Soup I made on Thursday – recipe coming soon!) – or as a condiment, e.g. on a vegan chicken sammie. For a thinner or thicker consistency, tinker with the tofu-to-coconut milk ratio before adding the seasonings. (As written, the recipe makes a dressing similar in consistency to ranch.) This particular configuration yields about three cups worth, which I’m guessing you can divide and freeze for later use. But I haven’t tested that idea out yet, so experiment at your own risk!

Major props to the husband, who helped with the taste testing. I’m not all that adventurous, so it helps to have a partner who has all the fussiness of a garbage disposal!
 

 
“Put the Lime in the Coconut” Salad Dressing

Ingredients

12 ounces silken tofu
1.5 cups coconut milk, room temp
2 tablespoons + 1 teaspoon lemon juice
1 tablespoon + 1 teaspoon lime juice
1 teaspoon coconut extract
2 tablespoons parsley

Directions

1. In a blender or food processor, combine the silken tofu and coconut milk and process until it’s smooth and creamy.

If you’d like to tinker with the consistency of the dressing, add the coconut milk a half a cup at a time; the more milk you add, the thinner the dressing will be.

2. Add in the lemon juice, lime juice, coconut extract and parsley and process until well blended. Most likely you’ll need to stop once or twice to scrape off the sides of the bowl as you go.

Since this dressing is suited to my husband’s tastes – and your preferences may differ – you may want to add the seasonings in smaller increments, adjusting the amounts to your liking!

3. Enjoy drizzled on a colorful salad or spread on a vegan sammie! Store any leftover dressing in an airtight container and consume within several days.
 

Seeing that Friday has shaped up to be “food porn Friday” – totally accidental, I swear! much like the always-hilarious accidental penis! – what with all the vegetable and fruit porn, I got to thinking: what is the most gastronomically arousing vegan food photo I’ve ever taken? Given my love of pizza and ice cream, you might guess a macaroni and cheese pizza, or perhaps the peanut butter cup ice cream I made during the height of the summer heat wave. Both good, educated guesses; both utterly and completely wrong!

The one vegan food that gets me hot and hungry – even after all these years – is the very first batch of Ronald’s Donuts ever to grace my lips. So incredibly satisfying were they that I polished off half the batch before I even thought to take a picture of all the fried sugary sweeteness in all its sugar coma-inducing glory:

(Note the teeth marks.)

SO GOOD, Y’ALL. WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE.

Shane and I were visiting Las Vegas for a week – neither of us had ever been before, so we were both Ronald’s virgins – and these were by far the highlight of our trip. And oh yeah, did I mention that we were in town to get married?

We even got a box to go. They fared surprisingly well on a June flight from Nevada to New York; some of the donuts came through a bit squished, but still yummy as all get out.

This was back in 2006. Since then, we’ve refined our doughnut-shipping technique: each doughnut fits almost perfectly in an empty Tofutti Sour Cream container, and the packaging minimizes the pancake effect caused by airplane descent (as does pre-freezing them). This is totally relevant because Shane now travels to Vegas once a year for The Amazing Meeting, and always (ALWAYS!) brings me back an order of doughnuts from Ronald’s. This past July, we got super-serious about it and packed a few Styrofoam coolers in an extra suitcase so that my precious goodies would be extra-protected.

Alas, there is a sad ending to this story: I only have three doughnuts left in the freezer! (Yes, the freezer! They keep fairly well for a few months, and then the cream/jelly starts to congeal a bit. But still, delicious!) So sad. But their rarity is probably why I love them so; now that I know how to make vegan peanut butter cups, for example, they’ve lost that special…well, specialness that only enhances their appeal. Ah, the pull of the forbidden! Well, hard-to-get. Close enough.

So, dear vegans, pray tell: what vegan food do you fantasize about night and day?

 
Another week, another surprisingly delicious, shockingly simple banana ice cream recipe! With desserts like these, there’s no reason to let “spoiled” bananas go to waste! (Unless you’re allergic to bananas, in which case you wouldn’t have brought them home to begin with. I hope.)

Without further adieu, I give you Chocolate Chocolate Chip Banana Ice Cream! Super-yummy, though the Banana Bread Soft Serve is still my one and only favorite. There’s just something about allspice, amirite people?
 
Chocolate Chocolate Chip Banana Ice Cream

Ingredients

4 or 5 over-ripe bananas, peeled, sliced and frozen
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon cinnamon (optional)
5 tablespoons cocoa powder
1 to 2 tablespoons sugar (to taste)
1/2 cup chocolate chips or chocolate bark

Directions

Combine the frozen bananas, vanilla extract, cinnamon and cocoa powder in a food processor and mix until smoothly blended. Sample the batter and, if it’s not sweet enough for you, add a tablespoon or two of sugar (or other vegan sweetener) and chocolate chips or bark and process until blended. Try not to overprocess the batter, as this can result in soupy ice cream. If the soft serve is too much on the soft side, transfer it to a covered container and store in the freezer for an hour or until it’s thickened up a bit.

Optional: for more finely chopped chocolate chunks, process the chocolate chips or bark first, and then add the bananas and follow the directions from there.
 

 
Enjoy: immediately! often! for breakfast, lunch or dinner! with omnivores! for an audience! but not with dogs, cause chocolate isn’t kind to them, yo! (Sub in carob powder and/or chips for a dog-friendly recipe.)
 

Via vegansaurus, tonight’s episode of Extreme Couponing will feature a real live vegan couponer!
 

 
So cool! And timely!

Tune in to TLC tonight at 10PM (9 Central) to see how it’s done. If I’m not mistaken, this lady is saving up for some new ink, so I’m totally rooting for her.* Get ALL the vegan goodies for free!

* Upon seeing the abbreviated preview for tonight’s ep, I remember thinking, “Woman looks rad, but pffft, I bet she isn’t vegan.” Burn on me!
 

 
I’ve had my eye on these Cheddar Biscuits for quite some time – if my delicious account is any indication, last November! – and I honestly don’t know why I’ve waited for veganmofo to make them. I mean, it’s such a simple recipe! And so easy to veganize, with just a few substitutions! Okay, so maybe it’s a wee bit messy – but deliciously so. And cheesy, too. If you’re to know one thing about me, it’s that I LOVE MY (VEGAN) CHEESE!

Interestingly enough, the best part of this recipe isn’t the cheese, but the garlic spread that goes on top. So tasty, y’all! I almost think that you could omit the cheese entirely and still produce a pretty tasty biscuit. I mean, Daiya is expensive, yo!

Because sixteen fist-sized biscuits aren’t carbtastic enough, I served them alongside a steaming pot of potato soup-slash-chowder. Carbs dipped in carbs and loaded with more carbs. That’s how I roll, people.
 

Cheddar Cheesy Garlic Biscuits

Ingredients

2 cups of a vegan biscuit mix (e.g., Bisquick)
1/2 teaspoon of garlic powder
1 to 2 cups of vegan cheddar cheese, shredded (I used 1 1/2 cups of Daiya)
2/3 cup soy milk, plain
2 tablespoons margarine
2 teaspoons oregano
1 teaspoon garlic salt

Directions

1. Preheat your oven to 400 degrees F.

2. In a large bowl, combine the biscuit mix, garlic powder and cheddar cheese. Add the soy milk and mix until well blended. If the batter is too thick, you can add a little extra milk – but you don’t want it to get too sticky! Likewise, if the batter’s on the sticky side, toss in a little more biscuit mix.

3. Drop balls of the dough onto a greased cookie sheet by the spoonful. Bake at 400 degrees F for ten minutes.

4. As the biscuits are baking, melt the margarine and combine with the oregano and garlic salt. Remove the biscuits from the oven and brush the margarine mix on top of each biscuit.

5. Bake for another five minutes, or until they’re lightly browned. Enjoy warm! Reheat in the toaster oven at 350 degrees for five minutes, or until warm.
 

 

…BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING DELICIOUS!

omnomnomnom crunch…

 
Ice cream floating in mug of chilled root beer, can a more perfect french fry and veggie burger chaser exist? I THINK NOT. But this Root Beer Float Ice Cream comes close, especially if you’re an ice cream fiend like me.

At first I had the idea to make a root beer float using root beer ice cream, but then I thought: redundant much? Seriously, what’s the point of making root beer ice cream if you’re just going to dump it in a like-flavored beverage? Then it hit me: why not replicate ALL THE FLAVORS of a root beer float in frozen dessert form? Root beer ice cream + vanilla (or chocolate) ice cream = Root Beer Float Ice Cream for the retro vegan win!

In this recipe, the root beer and vanilla (or chocolate) ice cream is made separately and blended after the fact, Neapolitan styley. It’s like you’re freezing the root beer part of a float around the ice cream scoops! Heavenly.

Also, I bet this tastes awesome on fries. (Totes joking, even I’m not that perverse!)
 

 

Root Beer Ice Cream

Ingredients

1 cup soy milk, divided
3 tablespoons arrowroot powder
2 cups soy creamer
1/2 cup root beer
3/4 cup sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
2 to 4 teaspoons root beer concentrate (amount will vary depending on the brand)

Directions

1. In a small bowl or mug, combine 1/4 cup of the soy milk with the arrowroot powder. Whisk briskly and set aside.

2. In a saucepan, combine the remaining 3/4 cup of the soy milk with all of the soy creamer, the root beer and the sugar. Bring to a slow boil, stirring constantly.

3. Once the mix begins to boil, remove from heat and add the arrowroot “slurry.” This will cause the batter to thicken noticeably. Add the vanilla extract and mix well. Add two teaspoons of the root beer extract, mix well, and sample the batter. If the taste isn’t quite strong enough, add another teaspoon and repeat until the root beer flavor is to your liking. Chill in the fridge for four to six hours or more prior to processing in an ice cream machine. (Usually I prefer to let the batter chill overnight.)

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