Eat to the Beat: Swedish Meetballs & AC/DC

October 23rd, 2012 3:32 pm by Kelly Garbato

 

The song: “Big Balls” by AC/DC (lyrics)

The foodstuff: Swedish Meetballs from Cozy Inside, served over fettuccine

The connection: I was going to make a joke about Chris Hemsworth’s balls – thinking that he must surely hail from a Nordic country, if not Sweden proper – but it turns out he’s Australian. BALLS.

 

Swedish Meetballs from Cozy Inside (0043)

All that’s missing is the Hammer of Thor.
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Just when this Italian thought that pasta couldn’t get any tastier. BAM! Along come these Swedish Meatballs to shatter my world view. (I almost replaced “world” with “food” in that previous sentence – until I realized that food IS my world. Mind blown a second time.)

Maybe it’s odd that it took me 34 years to try my first bite of Swedish Meatballs. (Spelled “Meetballs” in Cozy Inside, so this is how I’ll refer to them thusly.) The fact is, it just wasn’t on the menu when I was a kid and, as an adult, I never had the urge to try the stuff. Former fussy eater over here! I wasn’t even 100% sure what made meatballs “Swedish” until I spied a recipe in Cozy Inside whilst compiling my menu for Vegan MoFo. (Hint: it’s the gravy! The sauce is really gravy!)

It turns out that pasta slathered with gravy and served with giant fried tvp meetballs? IS PRETTY FUCKING DELICIOUS. No, wait, that’s an understatement. It’s epically delicious.

 

Swedish Meetballs from Cozy Inside (0002)

Gravy, the sexiest of the sauces.
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The hardest part of this recipe is the “meetballs,” which are made by mixing reconstituted tvp with sauted onions and garlic and vital wheat gluten, among other things. Then you form ’em into balls and fry ’em in a skillet because yum!

I had a little trouble getting my balls to stick together (insert testicle joke here). Normally when I fail in a recipe, I blame myself – I am the amateur, after all – but the directions in this recipe proved a little confusing. For instance, I wasn’t quite sure when I was supposed to add the tvp to the other ingredients, before or after mixing in the wheat gluten. Not that it would have made a huge difference, at least I don’t think. Either way, I ended up adding between 1/4 and 1/3 cup of flour (whole wheat) to soak up the extra moisture and get everything to bind together. Even so, you have to be very gentle when frying the balls, lest some stray bits escape.

 

Swedish Meetballs from Cozy Inside (0024)

cosmo tip #457: If a boy sends you a picture of his penis,
send him a picture of a bigger penis.
Unrelated to Swedish Meetballs, but handy advice nonetheless.
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My suggestion: make the balls first and then keep ’em warm (warm balls, tee hee) in the oven. Put them in a glass baking pan and heat at 200F while you make the pasta and gravy.

Though they proved a semi-PITA, the meetballs are so worth it. Crispy and just the right amount of greasy on the outside, with a soft, melt-in-your mouth center. Amazing! They lose their crispiness when reheated in the microwave, but the leftovers are still pretty damn tasty. Enjoy them alongside any kind of pasta dish – or on a “meetball” sub, pita pizza, or just plain on their own. Go ahead, pop one in your mouth. Twirl it around a little. Give it a gentle nip. You know you wanna.

 

Swedish Meetballs from Cozy Inside (0037)

And my balls are always bouncing,
To the left and to the right.
It’s my belief that my big balls should be held every night.
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Luckily, the rest of this recipe is super-simple. Pasta and gravy (in this case, a mushroomy blend), that’s it. Even a horny rock star could do it!

 

veganmofo 2012
Eat to the Beat

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One Response to “Eat to the Beat: Swedish Meetballs & AC/DC”

  1. Fanny Says:

    Yay meatballs! I’m Swedish and have no idea what makes meatball swedish but hey, we love our balls. Yours sounds great.

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