Peedee, Pup of Roderick

March 23rd, 2013 4:12 pm by mad mags

2010-07-03- Sneaky Peedee - 0001

Spoiler alert (a trigger warning seems like overkill, but idk): this post is gross and includes talk of various bodily fluids, including puss, boogers, and blood. You’ve been warned!

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For a moment Pimli thought the Rod still would not comply, and he felt a twinge of active alarm. Then, slowly, the fellow lifted the lid of the wicker basket. It was the sort with handles, known in Finli’s home territory as a bascomb. The Rod held it reluctantly out. At the same time he closed his sore-looking, booger-rimmed eyes and turned his head aside, as if in anticipation of a blow kinderlieder kostenlos downloaden.

Finli looked. For a long time he said nothing, then gave his own bark of laughter and invited Pimli to have a peek. The Master knew what he was seeing at once, but figuring out what it meant took a moment longer. Then his mind flashed back to popping the pimple and offering Finli the bloody pus, as one would offer a friend left-over hors d’oeuweat the end of a dinnerparty.

In the bottom of the Rod’s basket was a little pile of used tissues. Kleenex, in fact.

“Did Tammy Kelly send you to pick up the swill this morning?” Pimli asked kostenlos schnittmuster downloaden.

The Rod nodded fearfully.

“Did she tell you that you could have whatever you found and fancied from the wastecans?”

He thought the Rod would lie. If and when he did, the Master would command Finli to beat the fellow, as an object-lesson in honesty.

But the Rod—Haylis—shook his head, looking sad.

“All right,” Pimli said, relieved. It was really too early in the day for beatings and howlings and tears. They spoiled a man’s breakfast labymod kostenlos downloaden. “You can go, and with your prize. But next time, cully, ask permission or you’ll leave here a-hurt. Do’ee ken?”

The Rod nodded energetically.

“Go on, then, go! Out of my house and out of my sight!”

They watched him leave, him with his basket of snotty tissues that he’d undoubtedly eat like candy nougat, each shaming the other into keeping his face grave and stern until the poor disfigured son of no one was gone. Then they burst into gales of laughter. Finli o’ Tego staggered back against the wall hard enough to knock a picture off its hook, then slid to the floor, howling hysterically dokumentationen herunterladen legal. Pimli put his face in his hands and laughed until his considerable gut ached. The laughter erased the tension with which each had begun the day, venting it all at once.

“A dangerous fellow, indeed!” Finli said when he could speak a litde again. He was wiping his streaming eyes with one furry paw-hand.

“The Snot Saboteur!” Pimli agreed. His face was bright red.

They exchanged a look and were off again, braying gales of relieved laughter until they woke the housekeeper way up on the third floor windows 7 pro downloaden nederlands. Tammy Kelly lay in her narrow bed, listening to yon ka-mais bellow below, looking disapprovingly up into the gloom. Men were much die same, in her view, no matter what sort of skin they wore.

Outside, the hume Master and the taheen Security Chief walked up the Mall, arm in arm. The Child of Roderick, meanwhile, scurried out through the north gate, head down, heart thumping madly in his chest. How close it had been! Aye! If Weasel-Head had asked him, ‘Haylis, didjer plant anything?’ he would have lied as best he could, but such as him couldn’t lie successfully to such as Finli o’ Tego; never in life biorhythmus herunterladen! He would have been found out, sure. But he hadn’t been found out, praise Gan.

The ball-thing the gunslinger had given him was now stowed away in the back bedroom, humming softly to itself. He’d put it in the wastebasket, as he had been told, and covered it with fresh tissue from the box on the washstand, also as he had been told. Nobody had told him he might take the cast-away tissues, but he hadn’t been able to resist their soupy, delicious smell. And it had worked for the best, hadn’t it? Yar! For instead of asking him all manner of questions he couldn’t have answered, they’d laughed at him and let him go downloads images for free. He wished he could climb the mountain and play with the bum bier again, so he did, but the white-haired old hume named Ted had told him to go away, far and far, once his errand was done. And if he heard shooting, Haylis was to hide until it was over. And he would—oh yes, nair doot. Hadn’t he done what Roland o’ Gilead had asked of him? The first of the humming balls was now in Feveral, one of the dorms, two more were in Damli House, where the Breakers worked and the off-duty guards slept, and the last was in Master’s House dji go 4 herunterladen. . . where he’d almost been caught! Haylis didn’t know what the humming balls did, nor wanted to know. He would go away, possibly widi his friend, Garma, if he could find her. If shooting started, they would hide in a deep hole, and he would share his tissues with her. Some had nothing on them but bits of shaving soap, but there were wet snots and big boogies in some of the others, he could smell their enticing aroma even now. He would save the biggest of the latter, the one with the jellied blood in it, for Garma, and she might let him pokey-poke. Haylis walked faster, smiling at the prospect of going pokey-poke with Garma herunterladen.

Excerpt from Stephen King’s The Dark Tower, Book 7: The Dark Tower (2006).

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Stephen King’s The Dark Tower series takes place across multiple universes, with the protagonists traveling from one world to another (including our own, and at different points in time). Some worlds, like the one described above, are barren wastelands: destroyed by war and made nearly uninhabitable by pollution, what human and nonhuman animals remain exhibit horrific genetic mutations and suffer from all manner of diseases, from severe acne and eczema to noses so decayed that they’ve rotted right off their owners’ faces herunterladen. Vampires, taheen and can-toi (two species resembling chimera), and “Rods” (human mutants) walk the land.

I’ve been listening to the series on audiobook for the last eight months or so (so forgive me if I butcher some of the details) and recently encountered the passage excerpted above. Immediately – and to my simultaneous horror and amusement – I was reminded of Peedee, our resident canine tissue connoisseur. This isn’t to suggest that the other dogs don’t eat tissue; they do. Peedee, Rennie, and Ralphie all steal tissue and tp when given the chance, and Jayne and Kaylee won’t turn it down when offered. (Mags and Finnick have yet to pick up this bad habit, thank dog.) Usually they eat it – it’s like a treat, a really boring and tasteless treat – but sometimes they just enjoy tearing it up and making a mess.

But Peedee? Peedee’s the only dog who shows an obvious preference for used tissue. The more boogers, the better. (I have ridiculous allergies, so sadly there’s no shortage.) And he’s a talented little pickpocket, too: he’s lifted half-used Kleenex from my pocket without me even noticing. If he had a basket (and opposable thumbs), I’ve no doubt that he would hoard them like Haylis here.

Still better than eating poo.

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