Carbs & Rec: Epic Breakfast Bowl

September 7th, 2014 11:45 am by Kelly Garbato

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When it comes to Ron Swanson, there’s only one way to do breakfast: epically. Preferably with ALL THE BACON AND EGGS you have. (Don’t worry, WE ARE SO DOING THIS! Just not today.)

Waffle Wednesdays may be dedicated to Leslie Knope and her BFF J.J. (don’t cry, Ann; waffles may own Leslie’s stomach, but you will always have her ovaries!), but Sundays are all about Ron and his undying love of meaty, cheesy, eggy breakfast foods. Just don’t call it brunch, else he might pop you one in your smart, fancy, foreign mouth.

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In this vein, this morning I present to you the Hearty Breakfast Bowl from Home-Cooked Vegan Comfort Food – with a few extras, that is. What’s in the ginormous cast iron skillet (Ron Swanson speak for “bowl), you ask?

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Well, you’ve got your scrambled eggs, made extra eggy with the addition of black salt as well as nutritional yeast.

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Tater tots! This normally infantile potato foodstuff looks super-manly when smothered in a creamy, melty cheesy sauce.

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And because any breakfast meal wouldn’t be complete without the parts of at least one dead animal (or facsimile thereof), I threw in some pan-fried Lightlife Gimme Lean sausage patties.

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Topped with bac’n bits, because why have just one meat when you can have two?

Of course, any inaugural Ron Swanson post wouldn’t be complete without the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness.

“I’ve been developing the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness for years. It’s a perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement. Categories include Capitalism: God’s way of determining who is smart and who is poor. Crying: acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon. Rage. Poise. Property rights. Fish: for sport only, not for meat. Fish meat is practically a vegetable.”
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With this breakfast bowl, you’re already well on your way to the recommended four to eight daily servings of animal protein!

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2 Responses to “Carbs & Rec: Epic Breakfast Bowl”

  1. Carbs & Rec: Epic Breakfast Bowl | The <spb> Says:

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  2. Hannah Says:

    Oh my God, I would eat this whole thing straight from the skillet. I just would.

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