Carbs & Rec: ALL the Bacon & Eggs I Have!

September 21st, 2014 11:30 am by Kelly Garbato

Update: Ron & I won a MoFie!

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Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I’m worried what you just heard was, “Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.” What I said was, “Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.” Do you understand?
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Ron Swanson is a simple man. He likes pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food, and frequents strip clubs strictly for the all-you-can-eat buffets. When in doubt, serve him bacon and eggs. Preferably all the bacon and eggs in the house.

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So when Shane and I were brainstorming how to do this quote justice, we came up with two ideas: a) Photoshop a weird collage of all the bacon and eggs I’ve ever made, with a disembodied Swanson head superimposed on top (Shane) or b) actually cook up an oversized platter of bacon and eggs (me).

I was torn, so I did the next best thing: them both!

Exhibit A: The Vegan Bacon & Eggs Poster.

all the bacon and eggs collage (with quote)

As for the main course, we have a ginormous platter consisting of:

1) A tofu scramble with red onions, red peppers, garlic, and plenty o’ spices;

2) Lovingly nestled in a Hangover Tofu Omelet from The Tipsy Vegan;

3) Served with a side of homemade Hickory-Smoked Breakfast Strips, recipe courtesy of Home-Cooked Vegan Comfort Food;

4) And last, but never least, an entire package of Lightlife Smart Bacon (my favorite!), pan-fried.

Carbs & Rec - Give Me ALL the Bacon and Eggs You Have (0012)

Carbs & Rec - Give Me ALL the Bacon and Eggs You Have (0009)

Carbs & Rec - Give Me ALL the Bacon and Eggs You Have (0003)

Carbs & Rec - Give Me ALL the Bacon and Eggs You Have (0014)

Carbs & Rec - Give Me ALL the Bacon and Eggs You Have (0001)

This was my first time making bacon from scratch, and it’s really kind of tricky. The wheat gluten makes the dough super-elastic, so that it snaps back into its original shape pretty much as soon as you’re done rolling it. Since the strips need to be paper-thin, this poses quite the challenge. Make them too thick and they get gross and spongy in the center. But when you get it right, OMFG. Tastes just like bacon!

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As for the egg dishes, the tofu scramble makes an amazing omelet stuffing: it’s like multiple layers, tastes, and textures of eggy goodness. Even better than I expected.

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I do believe that’s the sound of Ron Swanson wolfing down a platter of vegan breakfast food. Snap!

Carbs & Rec - Give Me ALL the Bacon and Eggs You Have (0004 - with quote)

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4 Responses to “Carbs & Rec: ALL the Bacon & Eggs I Have!”

  1. Carbs & Rec: ALL the Bacon & Eggs I Have! | The <spb> Says:

    […] Carbs & Rec: ALL the Bacon & Eggs I Have! ยป V for Vegan: easyVegan.info. […]

  2. Jojo Says:

    OMG!!! OMG! One OMG is just not enough here! This might be my favourite MoFo post of the whole year. That poster! The bacon! The eggs! I might love you!

  3. Julie Says:

    Woah, I think Ron Swanson would definitely be impressed by this! :)

  4. The 2014 MoFie Awards! Round One… | VeganMoFo Says:

    […] Epic Post goes to Kelly from Easy Vegan for her All the Bacon and Eggs I Have post which was part of her (totally epic) Carbs & Recreation theme. If you’ve seen Parks […]

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