Carbs & Rec: Champion’s Peanut Butter Oatmeal Birthday Biscuits

September 30th, 2014 11:30 am by Kelly Garbato

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If you were to ask me to name my all-time favorite Parks & Rec character, no matter how minor or short-lived, I would hem and haw and slowly but surely work my way through the merits of Ron (meat!) vs. Leslie (feminist ambition!) vs. Ben (calzones and nerd pride!) vs. Andy (fun and goofy) vs. April (the misanthrope with a heart of gold) vs. Donna (chill as fuck) vs. Dave Sanderson (adorable!) vs. Jean-Ralphio (not! HE IS THE WORST!) before settling on the obvious choice, the character who stole my heart without uttering a single line: Champion, April and Andy’s rescue dog.

Ben: That is a three legged dog.
Andy: Yeah, his name is Champion. Because he is the world dog champion.
Ben: I’m sorry. I have to ask this, but how many legs did that dog have when you found him?
Andy: Three! That’s what makes him the best. He can do more with three legs than most dogs can do with four.
April: Except for digging. He’s really bad at digging.
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I’m with April: cats and dogs are infinitely preferable to people.

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It was pretty cool of the writers to make Champion a rescue; better still to cast a pit bull (fellow rescue Lucy!) to play him. But Parks & Rec never settles for just “cool.” Nope, they hit the trifecta of awesomeness by making Champion a tripod. Promoting animal adoption by casting a differently-abled dog from a member of a much-maligned breed? Totally swoon-worthy.

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Since today just so happens to be Kaylee (RIP sweet girl) and Jayne’s gotcha day (eighth!) -slash- de facto birthday (sixteen and ten, respectively), I decided to whip up a batch of birthday biscuits to celebrate. Peanut Butter Oatmeal Biscuits from Emma’s K9 Kitchen, to be exact.

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What makes these Champion-caliber treats, you ask? GOOD QUESTION! In honor of my three-legged t.v. boyfriend, I made some animal-shaped biscuits with a few of my eight million cookie cutters, and….

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CUT THE FRONT LEGS OFF! Yes I went there.

Inspired by this exchange between Leslie and April,

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I was also appropriately heavy-handed with the dinosaur shapes. (But not too much so; these guys are way too big for my ten- and twenty-pound kids to eat on the daily.)

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Sadly, Jayne the birthday girl has been out of commission for the past week or so; one night she came in the house with a slight limp, and by the next morning she could barely walk. Her right leg was swollen up like a sausage and we feared that maybe she’d fractured something.

2014-09-21 - Jayne at the ER - 0003 [flickr]

Turns out she just wrenched her shoulder, possibly by tripping in a hole (the vet is convinced it was a hole, which is kinda funny because at least half of the holes out there belong to her; insert some variation of “you dug your own grave” here), thus earning herself a week of crate rest.

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Good thing we still have that giant crate we bought for foster pony! She may have been miserable, but at least she got to mope in style and (relative) comfort. Truth be told, I think it was all the human contact she hated the most; we had to walk her on a leash outside, so that she didn’t jump on the retaining walls or go rock climbing and re-injure herself.

Luckily the manhandling horror and boredom of confinement are a few days past her now, but it was in full swing the day I made these treats. So at least she was spared playing dressing-up and mugging for humiliating photos.

2014-09-23 - Jayne Wants Treats - 0017 [flickr]

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That’s something anyway.

For the humans in the audience, I have this adorable Season 5 blooper reel featuring a talking Champion hitting on a sometimes befuddled, occasionally profane Ann Perkins. You’re welcome.

P.S. Champion/Lucy has a Facebook page and Twitter feed. You should totes follow him/her!

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3 Responses to “Carbs & Rec: Champion’s Peanut Butter Oatmeal Birthday Biscuits”

  1. Julie Says:

    Yay, Champion! Awesome post; so much cuteness! Hope Jayne feels better soon; looks like she enjoyed her biscuits! :)

  2. Susan Says:

    I love Champion! I have enjoyed these posts, I can’t wait to be able to watch more Parks and Rec. Hope Jayne feels better quickly.

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