Oh, bother.

December 23rd, 2015 5:50 pm by Kelly Garbato

2015-12-16 - Mags Eeyore - 0057 [flickr]

Since losing Peedee exactly one month ago today, the mood has been pretty morose around here. “Not in the holiday spirit” is kind of an understatement: I didn’t even realize that it was Thanksgiving until ~6PM the night of; I did the bare minimum in terms of Christmas decorating (the requisite tree + a few childhood items and every dog-themed decoration I own; I may have been several weeks late, but I got it done in record time – three hours instead of the usual three days!); and the only gifts I managed to buy were for the dogs. For a hot second, I actually considered skipping the annual holiday cards entirely: TOO. MUCH. WORK.

But my kiddos aren’t getting any younger, and I’m afraid that we don’t have that many more Christmases together. For all I know, this could even be someone’s last. (Knock on wood; I can’t handle any more bad news for at least another year or two. Preferably twenty.) And how shitty would I feel in retrospect if I decided to hell with Christmas this year? (Worst human mother in the world type shitty, more or less.)

So I decided to power through with an impromptu Winnie the Pooh theme, and who cares if I’m a little late? (Dear friends and relatives: Your cards will be late this year. Don’t think it’s because you got bumped from my list, or that I only sent you a card after receiving yours. I am just moving like molasses on account of my depression and apathy.)

The theme was inspired by the dread I felt as the holiday season approached: “Oh, bother.” And then I thought, hey, wouldn’t it be adorable to dress Jayne – mopey, doe-eyed, sad sack Jayne – up as Eeeyore, Eeeyore being what would really should have named her in the first place? (Jayne Cobb the girl ain’t.) And simply title it “Oh, bother.” The sentiment is apropos, but also still hella cute.

To wit:

X-Mas 2015 - Oh Bother (Main)

(Click on the image to embiggen. They look better in the larger sizes, I swear!)

But of course I couldn’t begin and end with Jayne; for the supporting cast, I bought an Eeyore hat online (stuffing the top with newspaper, so the adult size would kinda sorta fit on their tinny lil’ goggie heads) and took some pictures that I’d planned on making into “outtake” cards. But I’ll be damned if the outtake didn’t turn out better than the original!

X-Mas 2015 - Smallest Things (Main)

(All the quotes, by the by, are Pooh-based. I like saying that – “Pooh” – because it reminds me of Peedee. Pooh, Pooh, Poo!)

So everyone will, in point o’ facts, be getting two cards this year, to make up for their tardiness. Win/win.

I also made a series of “in memoriam” pseudo-cards just for me. Normally I’d say “just for funsies,” except I was bawling my eyes out the whole time I worked on them. Damn you, A. A. Milne, and your lovely, life-affirming, friendship-celebrating one-liners.

X-Mas 2015 - In Memoriam (Ralphie)
X-Mas 2015 - In Memoriam (Kaylee)
X-Mas 2015 - In Memoriam (Peedee)
X-Mas 2015 - In Memoriam (All)

I tried my best to match each dog up with the Pooh character that best represents him or her, but it wasn’t always easy. While Ralphie is most obviously Pooh (the glue that kept us all together; he of the roly poly belly; my little Ralphie Bear – that was one of his nicknames!), Peedee had Piglet’s nervousness coupled with Tigger’s exuberant, goofy energy. But then Kaylee was my piggy, even if she acted more like Kanga than Piglet. But a world in which Kaylee’s alter ego isn’t a pig isn’t a world I want to live in at all, so Piglet it is for her, leaving Tigger to Peedee. Like I said, imperfect. The quotes, on the other hand, speak for themselves.

Last but not least, the weird blend of Halloween and Christmas decorations I have going on (oh yeah, I also left most of the Halloween decorations up, since they remind me happier times; this place looks a little more bonkers than usual, not gonna lie) made me realize that I have a Trump doll for pretty much every season.

2015-12-19 - Troll Dolls - 0001 [flickr]

Jayne was kind enough to pose with Santa Trump (by which I mean she didn’t run away when I threw one down in front of her and took a quick pic) for yet another outtake card. Behold: Jayne 4 Trump.

X-Mas 2015 - Jayne 4 Trump (Outtake)

Laugh or cry, except I think we’re a few months past the point at which this could still be considered funny. So both, I guess? That’s pretty much my state of being lately.

And that concludes the most depressing Christmas post ever. There’s a reason I changed my Twitter name to Kelly Killjoy, okay.

2015-12-16 - Finnick Eeyore - 0027 [flickr]

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