Archive: October 2019

tweets for 2019-10-13

Monday, October 14th, 2019
  • RT @onetailatatime: That face when you get aderpted. https://t.co/YhHIxwVEFx ->
  • RT @AnandWrites: Many 2020 candidates sound good. But some peddle real change; others, fake change.
    Here's an infrared lens to tell them a… ->
  • RT @AnandWrites: Every week for the past year, I've heard this critique of my critique:
    "But what about Bill Gates?"
    Maybe, they say, it'… ->
  • RT @LouisatheLast: Every once in a while I think about how the misinterpretation of "survival of the fittest" is one of the most dangerous… ->
  • RT @kurteichenwald: An ISIS flag has – literally – been raised again in the Syrian countryside. The ISIS flag. Flying again.
    Can you Trum… ->
  • (More below the fold…)

tweets for 2019-10-12

Sunday, October 13th, 2019
  • RT @13spencer: Watching Elizabeth Warren debate Trump will be like watching a nuclear physicist explain gravity to a giant jar of spoiled m… ->
  • RT @ewarren: You’re making my point here. It’s up to you whether you take money to promote lies. You can be in the disinformation-for-profi… ->
  • RT @JoshuaPotash: Today at the White House:
    Protesters calling out Trump’s betrayal of the Kurds.
    https://t.co/0TJC7Urdg8 ->
  • RT @jsidman: My brother is on a @united flight from LA to Boston and saw this guy boarding with a shirt that reads “Rope. Tree. Journalist.… ->
  • RT @AuschwitzMuseum: 12 October 1944 | In a transport of Jews deported to #Auschwitz from #Theresienstadt ghetto was a Duch born Klara Bors… ->
  • (More below the fold…)

tweets for 2019-10-11

Saturday, October 12th, 2019

tweets for 2019-10-10

Friday, October 11th, 2019

Twenty-Two Little Ralphie Things

Thursday, October 10th, 2019

2013-05-09 - Waiting for the Vet to Arrive - 0050

Dear Ralphie,

You were my very first real dog, and also the first dog I lost; you were the beginning, and also the beginning of the end. (Dramatic, who me?) If I sound a wee bit morose, well, a) this is me you’re talking to and b) I have my reasons, dammit. But this is your birthday, so I won’t indulge. All of this is just a very roundabout way of saying that I miss you like heck, and I wish we could go back to those early days, when both our lives stretched out, seemingly endlessly, in front of us.

I’d return to one of the many occasions I got poison ivy walking you along the trails next to our apartment. Or the first time we met, when you were so a-scred you ran away from me (but were snugging me in the backseat by the end of the drive home. Where, upon our arrival, you promptly pooped in the kitchen.) Your first Christmas with us, or perhaps the first 4th of July, when your allergies manifested in a grotesquely swollen belly (inching dangerously close to your wiener.) Or even when that paranoid BluePearl tech insisted that the Kong fragment stuck in your stomach was MOST CERTAINLY a cancerous tumor on the x-ray. (It’s funny in retrospect.)

I miss you so, so much: both as the unique and funny and stubborn little person you were, and for all that you represented. After you and Kaylee passed away, I tried to find meaning by fostering. And it was great. But I’ve been on a hiatus for entirely too long, and so meaning is increasingly difficult to find. It’s hard, my little pooh bear. I wish you were here to make it a little less so.

I’ll always have the memories, though. You certainly made sure of that.

Love you to infinity and beyond,

Mom

2016-07-14 - Ralphie's Adoption Day

(More below the fold…)

tweets for 2019-10-09

Thursday, October 10th, 2019

tweets for 2019-10-08

Wednesday, October 9th, 2019

Book Review: Commute: An Illustrated Memoir of Female Shame by Erin Williams (2019)

Tuesday, October 8th, 2019

My feelings are all over the place on this one.

three out of five stars

(Full disclosure: I received a free e-ARC for review through Edelweiss. Trigger warning for misogyny, sexual harassment, sexual assault, and drug use.)

shame is an instrument of oppression.

The first time Erin Williams was raped, she was sixteen years old. Her assailant was a guy named John, the older cousin of a friend who dragged her away from a beach party and into a neighboring yard. She was drunk, and it would be decades before she had another sexual encounter – consensual, forced, or in the so-called “gray area” between – while sober.

Commute: An Illustrated Memoir of Female Shame is a graphic memoir that follows Erin during a typical weekday commute: wake up, get ready for work, walk the dog, take the train to work, put in a day, hustle home. During this time, we witness the dozens of microaggressions that are part of existing while female in a public space. She also reflects on her sexual history, which includes both regrettable drunken hookups with random dudes as well as a string of sexual assaults and rapes. We also follow Erin through her struggles with alcoholism and her decision to become a mother, thus reclaiming her body in a sense.

The result is mixed at best. Some parts worked for me, while others didn’t. Her thoughts on mansplaining, the acrobatics we as a society do to excuse away the boorish behavior of powerful men, the dehumanization and objectification of women, male power and privilege – these are all things I can get behind. However, she kind of lost me when she started talking about “gray areas,” and about her own (alcohol-induced) culpability in her own assaults (or regrettable hookups, or whatever she chooses to call them).

To wit: the chart on page 258 that seemingly ranks sexual assaults from the typical stranger in the alley boogeyman (“murder,” “coma,” “head injury,” “other injury,” “stranger”) to supposedly less clear instances of…I don’t even know what (“please just let me finish,” “it won’t happen again,” “I already said I was sorry”). As if that’s not bad enough, the headline reads, “We’re rarely all victim. For a long time, I thought rape was sex. Where, exactly, do you draw the line?”

I can tell you with 1000% certainty: at absolutely none of these points. None of these scenarios = “the line.” Everything Williams has described here constitutes rape, and in none of these cases do the people on the receiving end share any responsibility for what some human piece of trash chose to do to them. Period. Full stop.

Honestly, the whole thing is appallingly reminiscent of Todd Akin’s “legitimate rape” comment of 2013. I can’t even with this.

In case you couldn’t tell, I’m getting incredible frustrated and worked up, all over again, just writing this review. Williams’s observations elsewhere are generally pretty insightful, which is why I’m having so much trouble wrapping my head around the victim blaming. Perhaps she’s still grappling with internalized shame and self-blame, or maybe I’m just misreading her commentary? Yet we live in a society that so openly and unabashedly hates women, including rape survivors, that it behooves her to get it right. Like crystal clear, you absolutely cannot misinterpret my point right. Sadly, this is not it.

(This review is also available on Amazon, Library Thing, and Goodreads. Please click through and vote it helpful if you’re so inclined!)

tweets for 2019-10-07

Tuesday, October 8th, 2019

tweets for 2019-10-06

Monday, October 7th, 2019
  • RT @JustinoBrooks: This is disgusting! And, the judge admits he got locked up because he was needed as the only black juror! https://t.co/7… ->
  • I've just signed the #amnestyOz petition calling for justice and support for #Rohingya women who have experienced s… https://t.co/j6WQeQpCCh ->
  • RT @AynRandPaulRyan: I feel like at some point Jim Jordan is going to be trending today for saying something stupid as hell so I'll just sa… ->
  • RT @wow_im_pissed: you lifted this verbatim off a poem I wrote & shared in 2017. im glad it spoke to you but you didn't need to steal it. h… ->
  • RT @monaeltahawy: "Rape is not a punishment for getting drunk," Chanel Miller
    I want to get this printed on placards and cards and pamphle… ->
  • (More below the fold…)

tweets for 2019-10-05

Sunday, October 6th, 2019

tweets for 2019-10-04

Saturday, October 5th, 2019

Book Review: The Grace Year by Kim Liggett (2019)

Friday, October 4th, 2019

Rare is the book that actually merits a comparison to The Handmaid’s Tale.

five out of five stars

(Full disclosure: I received a free e-ARC for review through NetGalley. Trigger warning for misogyny, homophobia, violence – including rape – and suicide.)

“In the county, everything they take away from us is a tiny death. But not here . . .” She spreads her arms out, taking in a deep breath. “The grace year is ours. This is the one place we can be free. There’s no more tempering our feelings, no more swallowing our pride. Here we can be whatever we want. And if we let it all out,” she says, her eyes welling up, her features softening, “we won’t have to feel those things anymore. We won’t have to feel at all.”

“In the county, there’s nothing more dangerous than a woman who speaks her mind. That’s what happened to Eve, you know, why we were cast out from heaven. We’re dangerous creatures. Full of devil charms. If given the opportunity, we will use our magic to lure men to sin, to evil, to destruction.” My eyes are getting heavy, too heavy to roll in a dramatic fashion. “That’s why they send us here.”

“To rid yourself of your magic,” he says.

“No,” I whisper as I drift off to sleep. “To break us.”

I’ve started and stopped, cut and pasted this review so many times over the last few weeks that I’ve lost count. The truth is that The Grace Year left me speechless and, as with all of my favorite books, I’m afraid that nothing I might write will do it justice. This is the kind of book that merits a twenty-page thesis, not a 500-word review. (Though, let’s be honest, precious few of my reviews clock in at less than 1,000 words.)

You can gather the basics from the synopsis. Our protagonist, sixteen-year-old Tierney James, lives in a culture that hates and fears women. It’s believed that young women possess a powerful, dark magic; paradoxically, they’re also considered men’s inferiors. For the good of society, young women are banished from Garner County for the entirety of their sixteenth year.

The goal during the “Grace Year” is twofold: to purge the magic from their bodies so that they can return home pure and ready to be married – and to return home, period. Their wild and wicked magic; the harsh wilderness; and the poachers who aim to kill them and sell their bewitched body parts on the black market: all stand between the girls and survival.

The Grace Year follows Tierney and her cohorts as they claw, fight, manipulate, and straight up slay their way through 365 days of exile. Along the way, Tierney calls on her specialized knowledge – her dad is a doctor who always wanted a son, and thus “spoiled” his middle daughter by teaching her useful life skills – to try and change the system from the inside. She dreams of a young woman who carries within her the spark of revolution. She can only hope that her visions are more prophecy, less the random firing of neurons.

The story is told in four main parts, each corresponding to one season in Tierney’s Grace Year: autumn, winter, spring, and summer. There aren’t chapters to divvy things up further (at least there wasn’t in the ARC), which makes each section feel L-O-N-G (in a good way!). Whereas some reviewers complained about this format, I loved it: it gives the readers a sense of the slow passage of time as the Grace Year girls experience it, the weight of days differentiated from one another only by violence and death.

Usually I scoff when books are blurbed as “The Handmaid’s Tale meets XYZ,” but I think the comparison is more than warranted here: The Grace Year is The Handmaid’s Tale meets Lord of the Flies, with a dash of The Hunger Games meets Bridezillas for extra-crunchy complexity. There’s so much to unpack and dissect here.

In The Grace Year, Kim Liggett has created a semi-fictional world that could exist at (nearly) any time or place in history. The lack of modern technology – there are references to lithographs and gas lamps, and a distinct absence of electronics – hints at the past. Perhaps Garner County is an isolated community in 1800s America? Yet, without a detailed backstory of how Tierney’s community came to be, she and her ilk could just as easily live in some future dystopia, a society rebuilt from the ashes of a pandemic or world war. Or they could inhabit another ‘verse altogether. I love that the setting is open to interpretation, because it prevents us from dismissing Garner County as something from our past: a result of primitive and outdated beliefs that we have since moved beyond.

News flash: misogyny and homophobia (and racism, classism, ableism, etc.) are still alive and well. Just read the damn news, mkay.

Again just from the synopsis, it’s glaringly obvious that Tierney’s is a strictly religious and patriarchal society marked by rigid gender roles…but this summary hardly does it justice. Think: the fictional Gilead in The Handmaid’s Tale. Or Women Talking, inspired by the very real mass rapes that took place in Manitoba County, a Bolivian Mennonite settlement.

In Garner County, women face myriad restrictions, including but not limited to the following:

– Women are branded with their father’s sigil at birth. They are quite literally owned by their fathers, until the time they are bartered and traded to would-be husbands. Needless to say, they have no say in who they marry.

– Young women who go unclaimed have three options open to them: they can become maids, field laborers, or prostitutes in the outskirts.

– Married women are required to perform their “wifely duties”: “Legs spread, arms flat, eyes to God.” In other words, wives are raped on the regular.

– Though it’s not stated outright, it’s safe to assume that birth control and contraception are outlawed, at least for married women. (Married) women are not allowed to determine how many children they bear, if any.

– It’s considered blasphemous to pray for a baby girl (because we’re worthless, see?).

– Women are only schooled until the age of ten.

– “All the women in Garner County have to wear their hair the same way, pulled back from the face, plaited down the back. In doing so, the men believe, the women won’t be able to hide anything from them—a snide expression, a wandering eye, or a flash of magic. White ribbons for the young girls, red for the grace year girls, and black for the wives. Innocence. Blood. Death.”

– “We’re forbidden from cutting our own hair, but if a husband sees fit, he can punish his wife by cutting off her braid.”

– “We’re not allowed to pray in silence, for fear that we’ll use it to hide our magic.”

– “The women of the county aren’t allowed to hum—the men think it’s a way we can hide magic spells.”

– Adult women cannot wear hoods or other protection against the elements: “After their grace year, their faces needed to be free and clear to make sure they weren’t hiding their magic. The wives scarcely went outdoors during those months.”

– “In the county, bathing with flowers is a sin, a perversion, punishable by whip.”

– “The women aren’t allowed to own pets in the county. We are the pets.”

– “The women aren’t allowed to congregate outside of sanctioned holidays.”

– If a girl does not return from the Grace year – either alive or in bottles – her female family members will be punished by banishment.

Some of these rules are universal to what you’d expect to see in a religious patriarchy: anything to keep women voiceless, segregated, and compliant. In a word, powerless. Others feel like loving throwbacks to The Handmaid’s Tale: for example, the scene where Tierney defiantly bathes with a flower brings to mind Offred, secreting away a pat of butter to moisturize her dry and purely functional (to Gilead) body.

One detail that jumps out at me is how the girls and women are pitted against each other, so that they exist in a perpetual state of competition rather than cooperation. Similar to what you’d see in FLDS communities, there’s a sizable gender imbalance in Garner County; created not by casting young men out, as is the polygamous Mormon way, but by drafting lower-class men as Guards, denying them wives, and then castrating them to prevent unauthorized pregnancies. (This is one obvious deviation from The Handmaid’s Tale, where lower-class men like Nick are at least allowed the hope that they may one day merit a Wife.)

Thus, there are more eligible wives than husbands – and as the position of wife is the “best” a young woman of Garner County can hope for (the gilded cage), women are pitted against each other. As if this isn’t offensive enough, the veil ceremony takes place immediately before the potential brides leave for their Grace Year. Picture it: you’re a scared sixteen-year-old girl who was just sentenced to a life of hard field labor; the only thing standing between an early, sun-baked death and a relatively cushy life as a wife and mother is a scrap of fabric. You’re alone and unsupervised, for the first time in your life; your body coursing with magic. What now?

Garner County has effectively incentivized murder – hence The Hunger Games meets Bridezillas. Not that state-sanctioned murder should come as a surprise: the death penalty is alive and well. See also: the poachers. In truth, not all of the Grace Year girls are meant to return home: not when they are sent into the wilderness with inadequate housing and provisions, and certainly not when they state sanctions poaching. Women are nothing if not expendable.

Magic is also a common theme but, as Tierney so astutely observes, men only seem to discover evidence of magic when it is convenient for them: “Like when Mrs. Pinter’s husband died, Mr. Coffey suddenly accused his wife of twenty-five years of secretly harboring her magic and levitating in her sleep. Mrs. Coffey was as meek and mild as they come—hardly the levitating sort—but she was cast out. No questions asked. And surprise, surprise, Mr. Coffey married Mrs. Pinter the following day.”

Women are so thoroughly indoctrinated that they question themselves whenever they have an impertinent thought or experience a flash of anger: “And I wonder if this is the magic taking over. Is this how it starts—the slip of the tongue? A loss of respect? Is this how I become a monster the men whisper of? I turn and run up the stairs before I do something I regret.”

Spoiler alert: magic isn’t real. Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that magic, as it’s defined in Garner County, is not mysterious or supernatural in nature. Rather, magic is code for women’s anger. Magic is when a women speaks her mind and demands equal treatment. Magic is women working together to overthrow the patriarchy and create a new, more equitable society in which they are valued and respected. Magic is a tiny red flower. Magic is revolution.

(Here, I’m reminded of another book: Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women’s Anger by Soraya Chemaly:

“Ask yourself, why would a society deny girls and women, from cradle to grave, the right to feel, express, and leverage anger and be respected when we do? Anger has a bad rap, but it is actually one of the most hopeful and forward thinking of all of our emotions. It begets transformation, manifesting our passion and keeping us invested in the world. It is a rational and emotional response to trespass, violation, and moral disorder. It bridges the divide between what ‘is’ and what ‘ought’ to be, between a difficult past and an improved possibility. Anger warns us viscerally of violation, threat, and insult. By effectively severing anger from ‘good womanhood,’ we choose to sever girls and women from the emotion that best protects us against danger and injustice.”)

It’s no wonder the men fear it.

Of course, not everyone is hip to the true nature of women’s magic, and it’s enthralling to see how this plays out in the little community formed by the Grace Year girls. I love how Liggett devises a very reasonable, if not mundane, explanation for the manifestation of the girls’ magical powers. And the power dynamics that arise out of this are pretty shrewd and insightful, with plenty of real-world consequences. This is how cult leaders are made. Or 45th presidents.

There’s so much more I want to rave about: The way that Liggett uses Hans to eviscerate the Nice Guy ™ trope. The kinship between women and animals, and the vegan feminist ethic that might arise from recognizing and honoring our similarities. The sheer, raw power (might I say “magic”?) of sisterhood. The seed of revolution that blossoms here.

The Grace Year may not take place in 2019 America, yet its lessons are painfully relevant today.

My only complaint – and it is not a minor one – is the complete absence of race from the narrative. Only a few of the girls are described in great physical detail; those that are all appear to be white. Do no women of color live in Garner County? If not, why not? Perhaps darker skinned women do exist, but simply are not valued as Wives in this white nationalist patriarchy. If this is the case, we’d expect to find them laboring in the fields, serving the white nuclear families, and bearing the brunt of toxic masculinity as sex workers in the outskirts. As with The Handmaid’s Tale, this is an egregiously weak spot in an otherwise powerful and engaging story.

(This review is also available on Amazon, Library Thing, and Goodreads. Please click through and vote it helpful if you’re so inclined!)

tweets for 2019-10-03

Friday, October 4th, 2019

tweets for 2019-10-02

Thursday, October 3rd, 2019

tweets for 2019-10-01

Wednesday, October 2nd, 2019

Book Review: Redwood and Ponytail by K.A. Holt (2019)

Tuesday, October 1st, 2019

A Sapphic coming out story, told in verse.

three out of five stars

(Full disclosure: I received a free e-ARC for review through NetGalley. Trigger warning for homophobia.)

Oh, honey.
If you think being normal is a win,
then I have done my job wrong.

Do you think you are?
Gay, I mean?
Lesbionic?

It’s the first day of seventh grade, and Tam and Kate are registering for classes when they spot each other across the gym. On the surface, the girls – soon to be known to each other as Redwood and Ponytail – couldn’t be more different. Tam is happy goofing around with her best friend Levi (as short as she is tall), scoring points on the volleyball team, and hanging out with her super-supportive mom and elderly lesbian neighbors, Frankie and Roxy. And with her aspirations to be the captain of the cheer squad – not to mention the all-around smartest, most respected girl at school – Kate is all but guaranteed to follow in her high-strung, perfectionist mom’s footsteps.

Yet they form a fast and unlikely friendship that soon blossoms into something more. Will everyone be as cool with it as Tam’s hippie mom? Can Kate find a way to break free of her mom’s overbearing shadow? Will her cheerleader friends still love Kate if she’s “lesbionic” – and more comfortable dancing around as the school’s mascot than leading them in a routine? And just what is going on with Tam’s bestie Levi and Kate’s sister Jill?

I love a good novel in verse, and am always in the mood for a F/F love story, so it was inevitable that I take Redwood and Ponytail for a spin. Overall I enjoyed it, though some of the poems were a little too simplistic and rhyme-y for my taste. I’m well above the book’s target audience of ten and up, though, so grain of salt.

Perhaps more germane: there’s a scene where character z outs character y without any sort of real blowback or consequence, which is problematic as heck. PEOPLE, DO NOT DO THIS, EVEN IF YOU’RE HURT OR YOUR INTENTIONS ARE GOOD. Seriously, not a great example to set for the 10+ crowd.

On the plus side, Holt introduced me to the term “lesbionic,” so there’s that.

(This review is also available on Amazon, Library Thing, and Goodreads. Please click through and vote it helpful if you’re so inclined!)

tweets for 2019-09-30

Tuesday, October 1st, 2019