Category: Frivolities

scenes from a vegan marriage

Thursday, March 24th, 2011

Hop (2011)

Shane (kidding, obvs): So, do you want to see Hop?

Me: Uh, no.

S: Why not? It’s about an Easter Bunny! Who craps vegan jelly beans!

Me: You don’t know that they’re vegan.

S: Sure they are, if he gives them to you freely.

Me: They’re only vegan jelly beans if he’s a herbivore. If he, say, ingests horse bones so that his body has gelatin with which to manufacture them, then they aren’t vegan.

(Pause.)

Me: I cannot believe that we’re discussing this.

The Onion asks, "Should Animals Be Doing More For The Animal Rights Movement?"

Monday, September 7th, 2009

Much like The Colbert Report, I’m beginning to suspect that there’s an animal sympathizer working for The Onion. (See, for example, Exhibits A, B and C.)

In this piece of bizarre hilarity, the talking heads at The Onion explore whether nonhuman animals are doing enough in the fight for animal rights:
 



 
While most of this is an over-the-top caricature of the misconceptions people have about the animal rights movement, I think The Onion is spot-on when they suggest that we should drop certain “problem animals” if we’re to ever secure rights for nonhuman animals. Might I suggest the entire corporate cadre of PETA in place of the noble water buffalo? I doubt that the latter would ever be so insensitive as to don a white hood and parade around the streets of NYC or mock women for their eating disorders. Just a thought.

By the way, I apologize if this video is old hat; I stumbled upon it while clicking through to “Facebook, Twitter Revolutionizing How Parents Stalk Their College-Aged Kids” from “Next Tarantino Movie An Homage To Beloved Tarantino Movies Of Director’s Youth.” Next up: “Ex-Pedophile Shares Tips On How To Make Your Kids Less Attractive.” Labor Day: not so laborious.

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Hyperactive Dogs (Read: Puppies) Ruin (Court) Adoption

Monday, August 17th, 2009

My sister sent me this video with the following note:

This cracks me up. I want the dog on the left….:-)

Adorable, them both. I’d joke about wanting to adopt the pair, but next thing you know, I’m waking up to seven dogs in my bed, instead of the customary four or five (Jayne sleeps under the bed during rainstorms). Dangerous road, my friends.

FYI, you can learn more about the British Columbia Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals – and adopt one of their many available animals – here.

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This is the money you could be saving by eating a vegan diet.

Thursday, August 6th, 2009

2008-10-06 - Boca Burgers - 0003

So probably you’ve heard about former U.S. Representative William Jefferson (D-LA), who was recently convicted on corruption charges, including bribery and money laundering?

Former U.S. Rep. William Jefferson of Louisiana was convicted Wednesday on 11 of the 16 corruption charges against him in a case that included the discovery of $90,000 in his freezer.

A federal court jury convicted Jefferson on four bribery counts, three counts of money laundering, three counts of wire fraud and one count of racketeering. He was acquitted on five other counts including wire fraud and obstruction of justice.

Jefferson, a 62-year-old Democrat, was indicted by a federal grand jury on June 4, 2007, about two years after federal agents said they found the cash in his freezer. Authorities said the cash was part of a payment in marked bills from an FBI informant in a transaction captured on video.

Last night, the husband mentioned that Jefferson hid some of that 90k in empty veggie burger boxes. This naturally led me to wonder whether Jefferson just so happened to have empty veggie burger boxes laying around, i.e., because he enjoys veggie burgers – or if he intentionally stashed the money there, thinking that disguising bribe money as veggie burgers was a safe bet, that is, no one would bother to look inside the boxes, because ick, veggie burgers!

But he also hid the money in empty pie boxes, and everyone loves pie; ergo, Jefferson (or someone in his family; an emo granddaughter, perhaps?) must eat veggie burgers.

Either way, I’m always tickled green when vegetarian/vegan products pop up in pop culture.

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Of vegans and vulvas.*

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

Via Mylène – who always seems to find the most awesomest videos – I bring you this hilarious veg-on-the-street video: “What is a vegan?
 


 
Hint: it’s not a gay vegetarian.

* What else might the older gentleman at the beginning of the video be referencing when he guesses that vegans are women? Seriously, I’m stumped.

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HALP!

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009

Liberation BC’s newly liberated, man-size duck needs a name!
 


 
He – well, I’m assuming he’s a he, due to the aforementioned manly stature – is Canadian and a former prisoner of a foie gras operation, so perhaps that will give you some ideas.

Me? I positively suck at this sort of thing. My first, last and only decent suggestion was “Heart-Shaped Box” for the name of a vegan bakery. I forget who ran that contest. (PETA, probably.)

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Breaking: Gymnast Shawn Johnson Put To Sleep After Breaking Leg

Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

The Onion reports:
 


 
This video is chock full of snarky goodness, but my favorite part?

“Shawn was only 17 years old, so we never got to breed her.”

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Breaking: Human Head Found In Hamburger

Sunday, May 31st, 2009

The Onion reports:
 


 

In related news,

 


 

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The horrors of modern fetus farms.

Wednesday, March 18th, 2009

The (d)evolution of animal agriculture sounds so much more insidious (and comical, natch!) when applied to human vs. non-human animals!

(Cue fetus frenzy at 1:10.)
 

 
If only they could grow in vitro embryos. Oh, wait.

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338/400

Sunday, March 15th, 2009

Progressive quiz

As always, the quiz includes questions about marginalized human groups – most notably people of color and gays and lesbians, with one roundabout feminist question (“when does life begin?”) – but not a peep about non-human animals. Just a few items re: climate change, pollution and the like.

I wonder how I might have scored on a similar quiz, with one or two animal advocacy questions? Domestic terra-ist, perhaps?

By the by, you can take the quiz here; h/t, Elaine.

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I’m a "terrorist"; who are you?

Monday, March 9th, 2009

Which Western feminist icon are you?

The survey says that I’m Angela Davis, probably due in no small part to my response to third question, “What is the most important feminist issue?”: “Race, class, and gender must be examined, recognized, and the power redistributed.”

Angela Davis

You are Angela Davis! You were the THIRD WOMYN IN HISTORY to appear on the FBI’s Most Wanted List. You are a communist, black power-lovin’ lady who shook up the United States when you refused to lie down quietly to oppression. You WENT TO JAIL! Wow. You kick so much more ass than Foxxy Brown.

I was kinda sorta hoping to have animal rights, animal welfare or even plain ole environmental ethics or ecology figure into a question or two – certainly, the above answer could have done so seamlessly, i.e., “Race, class, gender and the human/animal dichotomy must be examined, recognized, and the power redistributed.” – but no go. Nor did Carol J. Adams, Alice Walker, Josephine Donovan or company make the list of iconic Western feminists.

Interestingly, the results do include Susan B. Anthony and Gloria Steinem, two iconic feminists who were/are less well-known for their vegetarianism. Still, nary a word about animal advocacy in the quiz; even though non-human animals vastly outnumber the human ones, they and their concerns are practically invisible. Sigh.*

On a lighter, more serendipitous note, I am wearing my Foxxy Brown tee today.

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Uncle Sam vs. Felix the Lamb

Tuesday, December 30th, 2008

After a few days away from the internets, I sat down at my desk this morning, only to find 100+ emails cramming my inbox – most of which are end-of-the-year donation appeals. Sigh.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mind receiving the occasional solicitation – even though these can quickly add up, as I’m subscribed to a ridiculous number of mailing lists. But as we approach the 31st, groups have ramped up their efforts to the point where I’m receiving a couple emails per day, per group. That’s spam, peoples, and it’s only slightly less annoying when done by a non-profit. Seriously, it’s going to take me an hour to slog through it all.

One solicitation from Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary – who haven’t spammed me ad nauseum, I should add – is super cute, so much so that it yanked me out of my grumpy stupor, if only for a moment.

I just have to share:

null

I love it!

You can view the entire email as a web page here, and, if you’d like to send some cash Woodstock’s way, go here.

I think I’ll make a last-minute donation as a token of gratitude to Woodstock for not abusing my inbox.

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VeganMoFo, Day 23: In which I copy the cool veg*n bloggers.

Thursday, October 23rd, 2008

Shane and I are finishing our concrete floors today (and given that we’ve owned the house for just over a year, it’s our first time maintaining the concrete, so we’re about as fast as molasses, natch), so no vegan mofo recipe post today. I do, however, believe I have just enough time to fill out this vegan survey from Vegan Soapbox while I wait for the floor finish to dry.

1. What was the most recent tea you drank?

Fennel seed. I’m usually a green tea gal, but fennel’s supposed to help with IBS. TMI!

2. What vegan forums do you post/lurk on? If so, what is your username? Spill!

I’m more of a lurker, though I tend to skulk around blogs moreso than forums. I usually go be the oh-so-creative “kelly g.,” with a link to either easyVegan.info or Smite Me!

3. You have to have tofu for dinner, and it has be an Italian dish. What comes to mind first?

Lasagna, but using the tofu like noodles. The dogs love it. (Me, not so much – I’m not big on tofu. *ducks*)

4. How many vegan blogs do you read on an average day?

I have about 100 blogs in my reader, but I tend to rotate through individuals blogs, as well as subject matter (animal rights/welfare, food blogs, environmentalism, feminism, current events/politics, GLBT issues, POC bloggers, etc.). In the AR sphere, currently I check Invisible Voices, Animal Person, Elaine Vigneault, Vegan Soapbox, That Vegan Girl, Superweed, The Veg Blog, PPK, Vegans of Color, and Green is the New Red most often.

5. Besides your own, what is the most recent one you’ve read?

Vegan Soapbox, obviously – that’s where I got this veganmofo post idea, duh ;)

6. If you could hang out with a vegan blogger that you haven’t met, who would it be, and what would you do?

I’m a recluse. I don’t usually socialize with anyone who doesn’t walk on four legs.

Not to suck up to our carnival host, but Isa seems pretty kickass. Of course I’d beg and/or pay her to help me bake some vegan cupcakes, and then we’d take over the world. Muahahahaha!

7. If you had to base your dinners for a week around one of the holy trilogy – tofu, seitan or tempeh, which would it be?

Tofu, because tofu and I are experienced.

8. If you had to use one in a fight, which would it be?

Tempeh, because I could probably poke someone’s eye out with a tempeh strip, dontchathink?

9. Name 3 meals you’d realistically make with that tough protein of choice!

Oh jeez, I dunno. I don’t think I’ve ever cooked with tempeh. So…all three recipes would probably be dog food in the end. My dogs aren’t fussy; one of many reasons I love the little buggers.

10. What’s a recipe in vegan blogland that you’ve been eyeing?

More than I can count, but vegandad’s Creamy Mac and Cheeze dish springs to mind.

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Starring Gina Gershon as Teh Killa from Wasilla

Saturday, September 13th, 2008

My bathroom flooded last night, so no blogging today. Go watch this instead.

(Crossposted from.)

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Slurp, slurp, slurp.

Monday, February 25th, 2008

Happy Monday.

(Maximize your browser for the ultimate awwwww factor.)

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"Is that like a gay vegetarian?"

Saturday, February 16th, 2008

I cannot watch this clip too many times. LOLZ all around.

Videos in this post

The Colbert Report, Thursday, February 14, 2008
Clemens Hearing
Just like Brian McNamee, Stephen also keeps medical waste as mementos. (3:24)

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My, how we’ve grown!

Monday, February 11th, 2008

easyVegan.info, circa June 2006:

easyveganinfo-map

easyVegan.info, as of this morning:

2008-02-11 - easyVeganInfo map

Viva la veg-olution!

(You can get your own geeky goodness here.)

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More avant garde than hippie.

Monday, January 21st, 2008

91% Mike Gravel
86% Dennis Kucinich
81% John Edwards
78% Chris Dodd
78% Barack Obama
77% Bill Richardson
74% Hillary Clinton
70% Joe Biden
39% Rudy Giuliani
36% John McCain
33% Mike Huckabee
30% Ron Paul
25% Mitt Romney
22% Tom Tancredo
18% Fred Thompson

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

I knew there was something I liked about Mike Gravel, creepy campaign ads aside. Although, they really should add in a question on dietary restrictions, since our shared veganism certainly would have put my score more in line with Kucinich’s.

(Crossposted from.)

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Baby’s first meme!

Saturday, July 14th, 2007

I’ve been tagged! And by pattrice jones of Superweed/Aftershock fame, to boot. Talk about good company.

OK, The Rules:

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Like Neva, I started to pen a memoir, and then realized it was TMI.

So the short of it goes like this:

1. I give my dogs massages. (Is that totally weird?)

2. I haven’t paid for a haircut since 7th or 8th grade (I forget). I used to have my mom trim my hair; now my husband’s stuck with the chore. He hates doing it because he’s terrified of mucking it up and reducing me to tears (or murrrrdurrrr!).

3. I’ve always wanted a tattoo, but have been scared to get one. Not scared as in “OMG IT WILL HURTZ!” scared, but scared of becoming addicted and ending up with “freakshow”-quality ink within ten years. If I were to go to the tattoo parlor (do the kids still call ‘em “parlors” nowadays?) tomorrow, I’d probably get the IPU logo, the SSOV insignia, or a little masked animal liberator. Probably all three. Which is why I’m getting absolutely zero.

4. I’m a book fiend, but I especially love anthologies. The short, discrete chapters must appeal to my noncommittal, ambivalent side. (Currently reading: Bitchest, Terrorists or Freedom Fighters?, She’s Such a Geek, Igniting a Revolution, and the Way of Compassion.

5. Guilty tv pleasures: ER and The Real World/Road Rules challenges. “Guilty” as in, I feel silly if anyone so much as passes by the living room while I’m indulging in either.

6. I’m a picky eater by any standards. As far as veg*ns go, I’m a crazysuperpicky eater. Some might even call me childish as far as food preparation goes. (As a side note, back when I was a yung’un, I made my parents strain the pulp out of my OJ. Even when they bought the no-pulp kind.)

I don’t like tofu. I don’t like celery, peppers, avocados, or water chestnuts. I don’t like brown or wild rice. I don’t like all but the blandest of ethnic foods – if I’ll try it at all (Chinese and Mexican, yes; Thai and Ethiopian, no). I used to blame my fussiness on my mom (i.e., for not introducing me to a wider variety of foods when I was a kiddo), until I found my feminism and realized how sexist this is (so, why couldn’t dad ever cook, hmmmm?).

On the plus side, I am making a good faith effort to try new foods. Last month I had a bite of the Thai lettuce wraps at the Cheesecake Factory. Didn’t like ‘em.

7. I kinda sorta miss the marshmallow-ey breakfast cereals. Especially Count Chocula. (Ummm…should I be concerned that I mentioned food twice?)

8. I really, really wanted to tag Moby, but I didn’t think he’d play along.

And the tagee becomes the tagger!

I choose:

1. Meshell (my sis)

2. Shane Brady (the husband)

3. Liberal Serving

4. apie

5. Vegology!

6. Soul Veggie

7. A Liberal Atheistic Vegblog

8. Dee

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At least *someone’s* finally taking animal cruelty seriously…

Friday, June 22nd, 2007

Online Dating

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

* death (6x)
* kill (3x)
* suicide (2x)
* murder (1x)

Really? That’s the worst they could find? Mingle’s search engine must not, er, search back all that far then, because I know I’ve dropped at least a few f-bombs over the past 13 months. Ah, well, better R than NC-17…easier to learn the young’uns on the errors of their omnivorous ways when they’re pliable, rebellious teens than rigid, set-in-their-ways adults.

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