Shane (kidding, obvs): So, do you want to see Hop?

Me: Uh, no.

S: Why not? It’s about an Easter Bunny! Who craps vegan jelly beans!

Me: You don’t know that they’re vegan.

S: Sure they are, if he gives them to you freely.

Me: They’re only vegan jelly beans if he’s a herbivore. If he, say, ingests horse bones so that his body has gelatin with which to manufacture them, then they aren’t vegan.

(Pause.)

Me: I cannot believe that we’re discussing this.

In this piece of bizarre hilarity, the talking heads at The Onion explore whether nonhuman animals are doing enough in the fight for animal rights:
 

By the way, I apologize if this video is old hat; I stumbled upon it while clicking through to “Facebook, Twitter Revolutionizing How Parents Stalk Their College-Aged Kids” from “Next Tarantino Movie An Homage To Beloved Tarantino Movies Of Director’s Youth.” Next up: “Ex-Pedophile Shares Tips On How To Make Your Kids Less Attractive.” Labor Day: not so laborious.

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Videos in this post:

The Onion: issue 4350 | 12.09.07: Should Animals Be Doing More For The Animal Rights Movement?
Panelists discuss whether animals should play a more active role in the fight for their rights by participating in marches or organizing boycotts. (1.54)

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Tagged: animals animal rights animal welfare peta people for the ethical treatment of animals the onion video video blogging humor stereotypes

My sister sent me this video with the following note:

This cracks me up. I want the dog on the left….:-)

Adorable, them both. I’d joke about wanting to adopt the pair, but next thing you know, I’m waking up to seven dogs in my bed, instead of the customary four or five (Jayne sleeps under the bed during rainstorms). Dangerous road, my friends.

FYI, you can learn more about the British Columbia Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals – and adopt one of their many available animals – here.

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Tagged: animals animal rights animal welfare video video blogging British Columbia Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals BCSPCA British Columbia Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals spca animal adoption dog canine animal companion fluffy stuff

So probably you’ve heard about former U.S. Representative William Jefferson (D-LA), who was recently convicted on corruption charges, including bribery and money laundering?

Former U.S. Rep. William Jefferson of Louisiana was convicted Wednesday on 11 of the 16 corruption charges against him in a case that included the discovery of $90,000 in his freezer.

A federal court jury convicted Jefferson on four bribery counts, three counts of money laundering, three counts of wire fraud and one count of racketeering. He was acquitted on five other counts including wire fraud and obstruction of justice.

Jefferson, a 62-year-old Democrat, was indicted by a federal grand jury on June 4, 2007, about two years after federal agents said they found the cash in his freezer. Authorities said the cash was part of a payment in marked bills from an FBI informant in a transaction captured on video.

Last night, the husband mentioned that Jefferson hid some of that 90k in empty veggie burger boxes. This naturally led me to wonder whether Jefferson just so happened to have empty veggie burger boxes laying around, i.e., because he enjoys veggie burgers – or if he intentionally stashed the money there, thinking that disguising bribe money as veggie burgers was a safe bet, that is, no one would bother to look inside the boxes, because ick, veggie burgers!

But he also hid the money in empty pie boxes, and everyone loves pie; ergo, Jefferson (or someone in his family; an emo granddaughter, perhaps?) must eat veggie burgers.

Either way, I’m always tickled green when vegetarian/vegan products pop up in pop culture.

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Tagged: animals animal rights animal welfare vegan veganism vegetarian vegetarianism william jefferson veggie burgers bribe money flickr photos

* What else might the older gentleman at the beginning of the video be referencing when he guesses that vegans are women? Seriously, I’m stumped.

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Tagged: vegan veganism vegetarian vegetarianism video video blogging youtube san francisco california

Me? I positively suck at this sort of thing. My first, last and only decent suggestion was “Heart-Shaped Box” for the name of a vegan bakery. I forget who ran that contest. (PETA, probably.)

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Tagged: animals animal rights animal welfare liberation bc mascot foie gras duck video

“Shawn was only 17 years old, so we never got to breed her.”

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Videos in this post

The Onion: Gymnast Shawn Johnson Put To Sleep After Breaking Leg (2:19)
After gym doctors confirmed the injuries were career-ending, Johnson’s trainers said there was no reason to keep her alive.

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Tagged: animals animal rights animal welfare video video blogging the onion humor Shawn Johnson gymnast horses horse racing assholes murder euthanasia

In related news,

Hope y’all don’t mind the flippancy today, as I could seriously use a laugh.

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Videos in this post:

The Onion: Human Head Found In Hamburger
An Albany, New York man was surprised to find a human head in his Double Whopper at a local Burger King.

The Onion: Domino’s Tests Limits Of What Humans Will Eat
Despite ethical concerns about testing on humans, researchers say their work was necessary to determine the boundary between garbage and food.

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Tagged: video video blogging the onion satire fast food youtube

(Cue fetus frenzy at 1:10.)
 

 
If only they could grow in vitro embryos. Oh, wait.

 
Videos in this post:

March 16, 2009 – Stem Sell
John Oliver does his best Bush impression to prove science is undermining America.

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Tagged: jon stewart the daily show john oliver festus embryo stem cells science barack obama factory farming animals animal rights animal welfare ivf in vitro fertilization in vitro meat videos video blogging pop culture fetus farms

As always, the quiz includes questions about marginalized human groups – most notably people of color and gays and lesbians, with one roundabout feminist question (“when does life begin?”) – but not a peep about non-human animals. Just a few items re: climate change, pollution and the like.

I wonder how I might have scored on a similar quiz, with one or two animal advocacy questions? Domestic terra-ist, perhaps?

By the by, you can take the quiz here; h/t, Elaine.

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Tagged: animals animal rights animal welfare speciesism quiz the internets progressive center for american progress