The Vegan Pizza Day That Was Giveaway!

Hey friends! Do you love pizza? Of course you do! Now through Monday afternoon, take a pic of your vegan pizza and share it with us at fuck yeah vegan pizza for a chance to win one of three prize packages stuffed with goodies from Tofurky, Daiya, Lightlife, Gardein, Nasoya, Tofutti, Field Roast, Bob’s Red Mill, and Upton’s Naturals (for US & Canadian readers) or a ginormous box of vegan meats and cheeses from Redwood Foods (for mainland UK residents).

Even if you lose the giveaway, you still win at life! (‘Cause you got to make and share pizza, duh!)

(Too much shameless self-promotion? Never!)

I am a Pizza, by Charlotte Diamond

So I was searching for music for a pizza mix tape (NO I SHIT YOU NOT) and found this video on the youtubes. I’ve listened to it at least a dozen times now and the lyrics are stuck all up in my head. I sang it to Peedee and O-Ren during our afternoon walk in the park, but I don’t think they enjoyed it. Whatever, they’re dogs, they eat poo. Anyway it’s dope and you should totally give it a listen so that it sticks in your noggin too. Then I won’t be the only weirdo wandering the streets yelling “I AM A PIZZA!” at the top of her lungs.

Cheesy Penne Pizza

With mozzarella Daiya, sauteed carrots, mushrooms, garlic and tomatoes, and baked penne pasta, all on a fluffy white pizza crust. I have yet to write up a recipe, but basically you just make up a dish of your favorite oven-baked pasta and set aside a few cups (three? four?) for the pizza prior to baking it. (Two meals in one!) Layer it on top of some red sauce, top with a lil’ extra cheese, and bake the pizza as you would normally. Nom!

Extra-Easy Vegan Bisquick Cheese Pizza

Aside from using store-bought bread, this Bisquick pizza crust is about as easy as it gets! Because it doesn’t contain any yeast, you don’t need to let the dough rise at all. (Pizza in a pinch, anyone?!?) It also makes for a pretty foolproof thin crust recipe – what you see is what you get! Quick and yummy, and super-useful for those nights when you’re craving pizza but are in too of much of a hurry to make a proper dough. Definitely a keeper!

“Buttery” Bisquick Crust Pizza

Another Bisquick pizza, this time with a margarine/garlic sauce on the crust. Amazaballs! It tastes a lot like the incredible Cheddar Cheesy Garlic Biscuits I made for veganmofo, only all pizza-like. In fact, this whole series of Bisquick pizzas was inspired by the biscuits, which brings us to Bisquick pizza #3!

“Buttery” Bisquick Crust Pizza with Daiya Cheddar Cheese

In an effort to make the “Buttery” Bisquick crust pizza taste even more like the Cheddar Cheesy Garlic Biscuits that inspired it, Shane and I tried another version, this time topped only with red sauce, Daiya cheddar cheese and oregano (similar to the ingredients in the biscuits I so loved). The result? Delicious, hello! It’s a cheese pizza, what did you expect? Not necessarily better than the original, just slightly different. Especially since I so rarely eat plain cheese pizzas. I like to put veggies on my veggie, yo!

Pinkies

Like Twinkies, but with pizza foodstuffs! The dough is the same Bisquick concoction as my Pancakes & Sausage on a Stick; inside is a sliver of Follow Your Heart mozzarella cheese, and on top, a few slices of Lightlife Pepperoni. Serve with a side of piping hot marina sauce for dipping and voilà – bite-sized pizza appetizers!

These were totes Shane’s babies. I like the idea, but something about the combination of Bisquick pancake batter with tomato sauce didn’t sit right with me. But the pancakes with cheese and pepperoni? Delish. This one I might play around with a bit. It intrigues me.

Angel Wing Pizza!

Angel Wing Pizza! THIS IS WHAT ANGEL WINGS ARE MADE OF PEOPLE! VEGAN PIZZA!

Just joshing! This is a toaster oven pizza made with red sauce, Follow Your Heart mozzarella, and black olives, all on a store-bought roll slices in half. Gotcha though didn’t I?

Onion Roll Pizzas!

Same as above, but using onion “hamburger” rolls instead of wing-shaped ones. Quick and easy, and a delicious way to use up extra rolls before they go stale. Gotta love pizza in ten minutes or less!

Tomato & Sweet Corn Pizza

This is a simple pie, with red sauce, mozzarella Follow Your Heart, garden-fresh tomatoes, and sweet corn. Almost not worth mentioning – except for the most hilarious “negative” reaction it generated on tumblr. BEST HATE MAIL EVER!

Garlicky “Nooch” Cheese Pizza

Nutritional yeast cheese: unlike processed vegan cheeses, it’s cheap, widely available, and easy to make yourself! You can find “nooch” at most natural or health food stores (hint: look in the bulk foods section!), or order by the pound online. Add some water and seasonings and – voilà! – cheese sauce.

Lately Shane has been experimenting with different flavor combos; this is first of many concoctions. Okay, so maybe it does look like a cauliflower with a yeast infection (or alternately play dough play food) – but it tastes like cheesy pizza perfection! (Or so I’ve heard; I don’t really care for nooch myself. I KNOW I’M AWFUL!)

Chili “Nooch” Cheese Pizza

Another nooch cheese pizza! This one’s a bit spicier than its garlicky counterpart. Give it a try and let us know what you think!

Shane’s Pepperjcack “Chicken” Pizza

I never did get around to writing up a recipe for this one, but basically it’s just our go-to pizza crust, topped with red sauce, pepperjack Daiya cheese, and Boca chicken patties, which Shane buys by the cart full from Wal-Mart. Seriously, I think he keeps them in stock single handedly.

Thin Crust Mozzarella Pizza

…and the search for the perfect thin crust recipe continues! (Or at the very least a serviceable thin crust recipe!) This one actually does have some semblance of thinness about it. Not as thin as a piece of pita bread, but at least half the size of the puffy, fluffy white pizza dough we normally use. Also: delicious and relatively easy to make. No complaints here!

Triple Tomato Pizza

A cheesy triple tomato pita pizza with cheddar Daiya cheese and black and Kalamata olives! You can tell how long it’s been since the last pizza roundup, since this mini-pie features a ton of tomatoes fresh from my garden. (Including one tomato penis!)

Such a hot, delicious mess that you’ll need a full arsenal of cutlery to consume/consummate it! Even after carving it in two, it was a hands-off affair. Steamy hot veggie action, that’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout.

Let me begin by saying that I didn’t do nearly as much baking this year as last. With the exception of some cookies for our neighbors, I didn’t make any gifts by hand. Mostly ’cause I was pressed for time, but also because I’m still trying to work off the ten pounds I gained by “taste testing” 2010′s handmade presents.

Instead I hit up Vegan Etsy: an assortment of vegan candies from NoWhey for my grandma Arnie; SuperFoxySweets vegan chocolate truffles for my grandma Vita; and a PB lover’s sampler box, along with peppermint patties, extra peanut butter cups, and a pumpkin roll (all from Sweet Vegan Delight) for my mum – all for less than $150! SUCH A STEAL!

Elsewhere on the internets, a box o’ vegan wine for my aunt Cindy and her BFF Hank (from Clos LaChance Winery, though I don’t see any vegan options at the moment) and a Ron Swanson mug for Shane.

“Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait … wait. I worry what you just heard was: Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?
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(From Peachy Apricot on etsy, in case you want one for your own bad self.)

My sister Meesh was easy; her only wish was more fruit leather, so I sent her a few pounds of the stuff. (We have a huge container in the freezer. Great for distracting Ralphie from his allergy shots!)

My brother-in-law sent us a basket of vegan goodies from Marge’s Bakery in Northridge, CA. It’s not an exclusively vegan establishment, but it has a decent number of vegan options relative to its non-vegan offerings.

The basket included four varieties of cookies: California Snowballs (melt-in-your mouth good!), Kiss of Lemon (thin and crispy and very lemon-y; my least favorite of the bunch), Ginger Snaps (soft, chewy, and surprisingly delicious, since I’m usually lukewarm on these) and Chocolate Chip Pecan Cookies (crunchy, like most store-bought cookies, and super-delish – but also quite small). They were devoured in less than a week.

Also present: two loaves of sweet bread. Namely, zucchini bread and carrot cake. (The latter is technically a cake, I guess, but it had the look and feel of a sweet bread to me. It was remarkable similar in texture and sweetness to the zucchini bread, in any case.)

The zucchini bread was at least as good as my own recipe, but not necessarily better. Sweet but not sickeningly so. I especially loved the sweet glaze on top of the bread, which added that little extra something to the bread. (Note to self: you simply must find that recipe!)

The highlight of the carrot cake was most def the frosting, which was delightfully spicy (Not in a hot way! I detected hints of Pumpkin Spice – but then my palate’s not all that sophisticated, so who knows?) and stood a good inch in height. Maybe this is what transforms a humble carrot loaf into a cake? Either way, NOM.

Overall, everything was delicious, though a bit on the small side. After going on a vegan baked goods shopping spree on etsy, I couldn’t help but think that we should have gotten more treats for the price. That is, if the Amazon listing is any indication of what he actually paid. But hey, I’m frugal.

Okay, now on to the Garbato-Brady kitchen! First up is the tin o’ cookies I made for our omni neighbors.

Clockwise from twelve o’clock you see:

• Thin Mints – Delicious and not that difficult to make! (The multiple steps are more tedious than they are challenging.) I used the recipe from Kelly Peloza’s The Vegan Cookie Connoisseur, but there are a number of vegan versions available online. Because of their chocolate outer shell, these are best stored in the fridge – and they also keep well over time. If you’re thinking of shipping cookies, these are a relatively safe bet!

• Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cookies – One of my favorite recipes, from the PPK. With almond extract, because it’s awesome.; and
• Bourbon Balls – No-bake recipe via spabettie. As with the Thin Mints, these keep well in the fridge, so you can make ‘em in advance. Here’s a tip: crush and mix everything in a food processor, it’s much easier than stirring everything by hand. When the dough’s done it will pull away from the blade and settle against the bowl. Bonus: fewer dishes!

And across-section of the thin mint:

I wasn’t sure how many cookies it’d take to fill a tin to nearly overflowing, so I made a batch of each. I only used about 75% of them, and we kept the leftovers for our own, so score! Between these and the goodies from Josh, we were set on dessert for the week.

As for main courses, on x-mas we opted to make a tater tot casserole in place of our usual, Flying Spaghetti Monster themed lasagna. No real reason, except we had baked penne the week before and were burned out on pasta. (File that one under “bad timing.”)

As usual, we used Snarky Vegan’s super-awesome recipe. It is delicious and unhealthy and loaded with carbs – perfect holiday eats, in other words. As an added bonus, it will knock you on your ass by 9PM – great for those times when you’re dining with annoying extended family. “Excuse me while I go lapse into a carb coma, mkay?”

For dessert: carrot cake

and a glass of So Delicious Coconut Milk Nog – easily the thickest, sweetest, yummiest of the vegan nogs on the market. I almost wish they made this stuff year-round, but I’m, not sure my blood could handle all that extra sugar.

fwiw, one way to extend your coconut nog pleasure is to transform some of it into ice cream. Christmas in July, holla!

So Delicious’s coconut milk nog is so incredibly thick and rich that I thought it might make for a pretty yummy ice cream, even if dumped directly into an ice cream maker. Alas, it must be more watery than I realized, because the finished product has the consistency of sorbet vs. ice cream. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still delicious, you just have to leave it on the counter to thaw a bit before helping yourself to a scoop!

I haven’t given up on turning this into ice cream though! Next time I think I’ll try cooking the liquid down a bit and/or adding some arrowroot powder. Thoughts?

This is also a nice way to use up soon-to-expire coconut milk nog. (Ditto: Silk Pumpkin Spice, Nog, and Chocolate Mint.)

We did eventually have our lasagna, but for New Year’s Eve instead of x-mas.

I didn’t follow it – at least not consciously, anyway – but I think this is the same basic recipe I posted last year. Try it, it’s yummy and festive!

Of course, we also enjoyed a fair share of pizzas over the holiday break, but they deserve their own post, dontchathink? Such a tease, I am.

While you’re waiting, why not make your own pizza pie and enter it in my Vegan Pizza Day That Was Giveaway? Open ’til next Monday afternoon. You KNOW you’re gonna eat a pizza between now and then anyways!

Come celebrate the Vegan Pizza Day That Was with us, ALL WEEK LONG! Americans & Canadians, share your vegan pizza photos with us for a chance to win one of three awesome prize packages featuring buttons, tees, totes – & more free product coupons than you can wag your tongue at! – from Tofurky, Daiya, Lightlife, Gardein, Nasoya, Tofutti, Field Roast, Bob’s Red Mill, Upton’s Naturals, & more! I may or may not have burned a few mix tapes especially for the occasion!

We also have a special Early Vegan Pizza Day giveaway for those in the mainland UK. Share your vegan pizza photos for a chance to win a prize package of vegan meats and cheeses from Redwood Foods! There are enough goodies here to keep you happily snacking for a month or more. (Or a week, if you’re anything like me. omnomnom!)

A cheesy, saucy, sexy time will be had by all! Vegan Pizza Day, so nice we’re celebrating it twice.

Up until last year – when I received a free sample of the stuff with a basket of vegan goodies from Sweet V Confections – I’d never heard of “puppy chow.” At the time, I thought it sounded gross. Looked gross, in fact. (I’m not joking when I say that I’m the fussiest eater you’ll ever meet, at least outside of the six- to eight-year-old age group. Hey, I’m working on it!) The baggy of white stuff sat in the fridge for nearly a year before I cracked it open. (And then, only after I’d finished most of the other junk food in the house.) Then I promptly devoured it all. Not that there was much of it, but still. PUPPY CHOW IS DELICIOUS, Y’ALL!

So much so that I made a batch all for my own bad self. I started with a rather simple recipe from PETA, which I altered slightly; the recommended 1 1/2 cups of powdered sugar wasn’t nearly enough to coat all the squares, so I ended up using nearly twice as much. Also, the chocolate-peanut butter sauce required much more time in the microwave, especially near the end: the hotter the sauce, the more fluid – and the more fluid, the easier to mix with the rice cereal.

Anyway, it’s really good! Not as pretty as Sweet V’s specimen – really, I found it impossible to evenly coat all the rice squares, and ended up with a number of large globular chunks of chow – but still yummy. And that’s what counts, yes?

Vegan Puppy Chow (for Humans Only!)

(Based on this recipe from PETA.)

Makes 9 cups.

Ingredients

1 cup semi-sweet vegan chocolate chips
1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
1/4 cup vegan margarine
9 cups rice cereal squares
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/2 to 2 1/2 cups powdered sugar

Directions

1. Combine the chocolate chips, peanut butter, and vegan margarine in a microwave-safe bowl and heat in the microwave for one minute. Remove and stir; continue microwaving in 15-second increments, stirring in between, until the chocolate, peanut butter, and margarine are blended well. Add the vanilla and mix well. Then microwave the mixture for 15 to 60 seconds, so that the chocolate-pb sauce becomes hotter and more fluid.

2. Place the cereal squares in a large (preferable flat and shallow) container and pour in the chocolate mixture. Stir gently until all the squares are coated.

3. Add 1 1/2 cups of the powdered sugar to the container and seal with a lid. Shake gently until the sugar has coated all the squares. Add additional sugar and repeat if necessary.

4. Place in the freezer for 30 minutes, or until the chocolate hardens. Once solidified, store in the refrigerator.

May your holiday be bright and shiny,
and your ‘verse, filled with shindigs and thrilling heroics.
- Kaylee and Jayne
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Happy holidays, y’all! As I said the other day, I’ve been dying to do some holiday cosplay with Kaylee and Jayne ever since we adopted them five years ago, and this year I finally got to it! I decorated the entire tree with pirates in their honor (The crew of Serenity? Space pirates! Totally relevant to Pastafarianism, since doctrine holds that the decline in pirates is correlated with global warming – and thus in order to avert the apocalypse, we have to bring back piracy. Check and mate.), which was no small feat seeing as I made most of the ornaments by hand over a two-month period. I also hired someone to custom-make Kaylee Frye and Jayne Cobb outfits way back in August. Oh, the planning that went into this holiday card!

Unfortunately, my seamstress totally flaked, leaving me to cobble together costumes from off-the-rack pieces at the last minute. Instead of a green mechanic’s jumpsuit and floral blouse, Kaylee is wearing her shindig dress – that is, a Cotton Candy Dog Dress by East Side Collection. And while Jayne isn’t sporting a trademark brown Jayne Cobb ringer tee, she does look pretty badass in a green army jacket – really an Army Green Utility Jacket by Zack & Zoey.

Of course, the Jayne hat is the star of the ensemble; I actually had three custom-made for me by two different etsians: Sam’s Crochet (that would be the adorably floppy, Rasta-style hat Jayne and Peedee are wearing) and Whitaker Knits (the smaller hats with the orange tie, as seen on Ralphie and O-Ren, below). Rounding out Jayne’s look is a Browncoats logo pin I scored on Amazon. (It’s on her chest and not clearly visible in all the photos.) I also picked up some cute ID badges on eBay, but couldn’t find a place for them in the final outfits. Instead, they became ornaments for the tree.

Here’s a little character collage I put together for my family, who are not Firefly fans (THE HORRA!) and thus didn’t get the reference. Side-by-side comparison time! How do you think I did?

All’s shiny that ends shiny, I say.

Outtakes and extras after the jump!

Here’s the message label for the back of the card; I figured out ages ago that this is way easier than writing a message by hand (BY HAND! INTERNETS, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY PENMANSHIP!?!) on the back of each card. Also: safer and less messy. No bloody bleeding ink!

I also print out my own address labels, with a new design each holiday. The “to” labels have a shiny Browncoats logo,

while the image on the return labels is from the “Can’t Stop the Serenity” charity screenings.

Last but not least, I decorated the festive red envelopes with Alliance Postal and Blue Sun stamps from Ma Cobbe’s Hat Shoppe. Yeah, I totally geeked out this year. How could I not? BEST. THEME. EVER!

Now for the “outtakes”: one per animal – including Kaylee and Jayne, ’cause their outfits were so damn nice I had to do them twice – including one in memoriam for dear Ozzy, who passed away in June. Each card features a quote from Firefly or Serenity and, where possible, the animals are wearing a Jayne hat. (Since they’re new and don’t yet know their sits and stays, it was all I could do to snap a quick pic of Mags and Finnick in front of the tree – let alone in front of the tree AND wearing silly hats. I had to hold Fin in place by the backside and crop my hand out later. That one would rather be shot in the face than have his picture taken, I tell you what!) As for the cat, he cannot be contained. I had to bribe him into place with bits of dried cranberry, which he licks until they’re good and sticky and then just bats around the house.

Also, he really can kill you with his brain.

“I aim to misbehave.”
- Mal Reynolds, Serenity
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“Yes, sir, Cap’n Tightpants.”
- Kaylee Frye, episode 4, “Shindig”
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“Big Damn Heroes, sir.”
- Zoe Washburne, episode five, “Safe”
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“Goin’ on a year now I ain’t had nothin’ twixt my nethers weren’t run on batteries!”
- Kaylee Frye, Serenity
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“She is starting to damage my calm.”
- Jayne Cobb, Serenity
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“Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!”
- Hoban “Wash” Washburne, “Serenity” (pilot)
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“This must be what going mad feels like.”
- Simon Tam, episode seven, “Jaynestown”
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“I can kill you with my brain.”
- River Tam, episode eleven, “Trash”
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“I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar.”
- Hoban “Wash” Washburne, Serenity
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* Shepherd Book, episode two, “The Train Job”

The Pirate Tree

What better place to start than the tree? Whereas in years past I’ve gone heavy on the pasta-themed ornaments, this year I decided to do a full-on pirate theme – with a special focus on Firefly. Space pirates are totally relevant when you’re a Pastafarian, yo! Also when you’re the guardian of two dogs who are named after characters on the show! I’ve been dying to do some holiday cosplay with Kaylee and Jayne ever since we adopted them five years ago, but this year I actually took the initiative and did it! (Hence the early planning.) I’ll post photos of the dogs later this week, but suffice to say that their costumes directly influenced the look of the tree. Since I’ve never done a pirate tree before, almost all of the ornaments and decorations are new this season.

The decorations are mix of re-purposed items (pirate toys from the Dollar Store; some cool and inexpensive pirate and nautical wood party favors from Jo-Anne Fabric; glass bottles that look as though they might hold messages from castaways, also from J-Anne Fabric; “gold” skull & crossbones metal charms found on eBay), Firefly merch (ID badges for Kaylee Frye and Jayne Cobb; a Serenity keychain), and diy ornaments made by gluing pirate stickers and photos onto bottle caps and card stock.

It’s this last group that I wanted to make a tutorial for but really, it’s all very simple. Throughout the summer I saved up whatever bottle caps and lids I could (the flatter, the better) and when I had a pretty good collection going, I laid them all out on the floor of the barn (on top of a drop cloth, natch) and spray-painted them black. Since you’re likely to have collected lids made of variety of materials – plastic and metal, mostly – make sure you buy a spray paint that’s suitable for each.

Then hit the internets and gather up as many pirate-y pictures as you can: google Firefly/Serenity (the art produced by this fandom is both plentiful and delightful!), Pirates of the Caribbean, pirate Amy Pond, women pirates (girl power!), etc. (Though that last search term turns up some rather depressing results. To cut down on the number of sexy pirates, search for historical woman pirates. You won’t get many results, but the hits you do get will be awesome!) Next, resize ‘em so that the portions of the photos that you’d like to use are similar in size to your caps and lids, then copy and paste them onto 4×6, 5×7, and/or 8×10 canvases (depending on the size, you’ll be able to fit between one and five images on each), and either print them up at home or order them online at Sam’s Club or similar.

The hardest part is cutting the images to fit snugly inside the lids. Cutting a circle freehand is pretty much impossible, as I quickly learned. Instead, try to find a circular item – a cup or bottle, for example, or even another, slightly smaller lid – and use it to trace a circle on the image. Though still difficult, the guide will help you to cut a much rounder circle. (Just go slowly!) When done, simply glue the photo into the lid. (A heavy-duty, acid-free glue stick works well for this.)

If you can find circular stickers – I happened to have some 1.5″ round skull & crossbones stickers left over from last year – these are a nice option too. While they don’t offer a whole lot of variety, they do come pre-cut. Score!

For hanging, you can either glue a jump ring (used in jewelry making and available at craft stores) to the back of the lid or, if it’s made of plastic and thick enough, drill a small hole into the “lip” of the lid. Either way, string some curling ribbon or a pipe cleaner through the ring or hole to make a loop that can then be used to hang the ornament from the tree. (Curling ribbon is much easier to work with, imho.) We stuck with black to match the tree’s color scheme (namely, black and gold).

Another option is to pick up a book of cardstock paper and affix your photos to these instead of (or in addition to) caps and lids. For extra decoration, cut the paper an inch or two wider and taller than the photo, so that there’s a backdrop to frame it. The paper I picked up was one-sided (most is, if I’m not mistaken), so I glued two pieces together so that the backside of the decoration wouldn’t look so naked. If you have enough pictures, you can even affix one to each side of the paper so that there isn’t a backside. (This works well with images from the same series of artwork, e.g., the “Wanted” posters from Firefly, or the Art Nouveau posters, also from Firefly. I was not kidding about how hard Firefly artwork rocks!)

Since you can cut the paper to size, this method offers much more flexibility. On the other hand, these ornaments are much more one-dimensional than those made from lids. If you can, I recommend making some of each. Mix it up a bit!

To wit:

Of course, we just had to top the tree with a Jayne hat! Handmade Jayne hats are widely available in adult, children and even infant sizes on etsy, but I specially ordered three custom dog-sized hats for the occasion: one for Jayne, naturally, and then two smaller ones for the other dogs. (Even though they didn’t make it on this year’s card, I still had to photograph them for the outtakes! Also: just for general shits and giggles.) The one on the tree is from Sam’s Crochet (yup, that’s my Jayney in the listing!), and the two not pictured are from Whitaker Knits. You’ll see ‘em in the next post, so keep an eye peeled.

When not in use, the hats can double as decorations: in addition to tree toppers, you can put them on stuffed animals – either holiday or everyday ones – to make them more festive. Cookie jars, too!

Finally, since we can’t put “real” presents under the tree (lest the dogs chew them to bits), we opt for “fake” presents instead. Usually this means x-mas themed cookie tins (empty, obvs!), but since our tins didn’t really fit with the tree’s color scheme, we wrapped some boxes with brown paper. Very care package-y. (Back to the Jayne hat!) To snazz them up a little, I decorated the paper with Allied Postal and Blue Sun stamps from Ma Cobbe’s Hat Shoppe on etsy (A wise investment! I wish I’d bought every Firefly stamp in her store instead of just these two!) and finished it off with some ribbons and bows. And my domestic terrorist vegan pirate bear, who’s guarding the stash ’till CriFSMas!

Flying Spaghetti Monsters

My favorite part of CriFSMas decorating is the flying spaghtti monsters, noodles-down! They’re just so cute, what with their sparkly appendages and plush soy balls and huge googly eyes. (Yeah, it’s the googly eyes that do it for me, most definitely. They look awesome on anything!) Every year I make a few more spaghetti monsters and yet I never seem to have enough. You can put them pretty much anywhere, which means that they’re everywhere in my house: hanging from ceiling fans, hovering in the windows, chilling on shelves, looking down on you from soffits, crawling out of stockings, resting on lamps. EVER-Y-WHERE. Since they’re made mostly of pipe cleaners, you can create most any type of hook, loop, strap, or string you need, and yet it still looks like part of the decoration. AND THEY’RE SO SPARKLY!

“TAKE MY NOODLE IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!”

Most of my monsters were born of shiny, metallic red, green, gold, and silver pipe cleaners, which are readily available at dollar stores this time of year; you can also find them in craft stores such as Michaels. Others are made of more subdued, plush beige, red, white and black (etc.) pipe cleaners, which you can find in craft stores year-round. These pipe cleaners tend to be a bit sturdier and thus harder to work with. Plus they’re not as sparkly! But they are nice if you’d like a monster or two for other occasions, such as Halloween, Valentine’s Day, and the like. I’ve even seen ginormous, 1+ foot long fuzzy pipe cleaners, which I just may make into a giant flying spaghetti monster outfit for the dogs next year. I’m picturing a FSM riding on O-Ren’s back, with his noodles spiraling forward and encompassing her body, massive googly eyes extending overhead. It will be ADORABLE and NOTHING WILL HURT. Except for O-Ren’s pride, that is. But hey, I’m good to her the other 364 days of the year!

Anyhow, if you’d like to make your own little spaghetti monsters, I posted a tutorial a few years back. Check it here.

Eye patches for everyone!

If you’re going with a pirate theme, eye patches are a must. Most of mine are from the dollar store – as well as a few online pirate shops and party stores – but some came packaged with pirate-themed dog costumes, too. Use them to dress up stuffed animals – again, either holiday or everyday stuffed animals – as well as stockings that feature animals, cookie jars, and any other appropriately-sized, animal-shaped decorations you may have. Ditto: pirate hats, pirate bandannas, and pirate dog outfits.

If you have any extras, hang them from the tree!

The Wall of Cards

This past summer we installed a special rail along the ceiling over our marble fireplace so that we could hang artwork on that wall without drilling into the grout or damaging the bricks. So far there’s just one very large, two-piece Kill Bill poster over the fireplace; the rest of the wall is pretty barren. Actually, I prefer to think of it as clean and uncluttered, at least 11 months out of the year. But next to the sparkly ribbons and shiny garland that lines the rest of the living room, the wall did look rather dull and cold. So I decided to dress it up with ribbon and holiday cards! It’s a simple if tedious process: punch a hole in the corner of a card, string some ribbon through it, and then hang it from the picture rail using a regular old picture hook. (The rail comes with special hooks and wire for hanging large/heavy items, but cheap picture hooks proved a nice substitution for cards.) You can use new cards, or old ones that you’ve saved up; and remove the cover, recycling the back, or use the entire card. I went with a combination of the two.

No picture rail? No problem! String a length of ribbon, garland, or string from one end of the room to another and use that instead. Or use them to make a mobile.

Bows on ALL the things!

Much like flying spaghetti monsters, ribbons look lovely almost anywhere. This year I picked up a dozen big red and gold bows for a few bucks a pop at a local mega-store and used them to decorate some stationary, non-holiday items around the house: posters, cabinets, doorknobs and baby gates, mostly. Shiny, yes?

While I was holiday shopping at that same chain store, I couldn’t help but pick up three large bags of gift bows at about $3 a piece. Since them, I’ve been putting them everywhere I’m not afraid to stick tape: on tv sets, my pencil and pen mug, the side of the fridge, the washer and dryer, poster frames, stuffed animals; pinned to my cork bulletin board; in windows opposite spaghetti monsters; just resting on piles of books and cabinet shelves and such. Anywhere that could use a little extra sparkle. EVERYTHING MUST SPARKLE! Next to pirates, gaudiness is the work of the day.

How shiny is that pirate in the window?

Speaking of gaudiness, our front window “pirate altar” is a perfect example of everything discussed thus far: sparkles, pirates, bows, flying spaghetti monsters, ribbons, garland, and oh yeah, more sparkles. As per usual, an x-mas red teddy bear pirate sits atop a pile of vegan cookbooks and pirate tomes (my entire Firefly/Serenity collection included). The open shelf is lined with gold doubloons and gold tinsel (so much treasure!), and additional book piles, pirate accessories, and images of Her Noodliness (in frames decorated with macaroni!) round the main display out. The upper half of this built-in is open display shelving with glass sliding doors, which I made more festive with the addition of tinsel, garland, more pirate items, and (new this year) decorative glass beads (like for aquariums) that look a little like jewels, a la The Goonies. (Another dollar store score.)

(James Randi, looking good!)

Not too much different from last year, but I had to include it anyway. PIRATES!

Various and Sundry

I tried my best to organize these photos into like groups, but some just defy categorization!

My laundry room, decorated with leftover garland, some holiday stuffed animals – and bows, of course!

More garland and stuffed animal pirates, this time atop the stove in the kitchen. (Like the stove would be located anywhere else, silly me.)

Homemade magnets on the fridge…

…as well as the filing cabinet in the office. And yes, there’s a tutorial for that!

Dinosaurs on the fireplace mantle. YES, DINOSAURS ARE RELEVANT! Also, I scored a bag of them for less than $10 at a party store. Win-win.

My scrappy sad Charlie Brown tree, courtesy of mum.

A last-minute addition: a wreath on the front door. I’ve always wanted a wreath but for some strange reason, only got one last week. This is a cheap +/- $3 artificial one from a box store; a $4 ribbon and heart-shaped ornament I already had on hand dress it up quite nicely, don’t you think?

Anyway, I’m sure there’s a ton I’m forgetting – I am seriously fighting the urge to caption every single photo in this post – but the day is getting late and I have a few batches of holiday cookies that won’t make themselves. (The 2-hour power outage earlier today sure didn’t help matters any!) And I’m baking in part for our omni neighbors, so I need to bring my A game.

Wish me luck, people!

My Thanksliving Day eats, in all their carbalicious glory! The Thanksgiving Pizza came out smashingly; I’m super-glad we decided to do a test run, since this gave us a chance to tweak the recipe. The assembly was still a little messy, but not the hot mess of last week.

Anywho, this pizza features a layer of garlic and chive mashed potatoes mixed with gravy, followed by hickory smoked Tofurky slices, more gravy, and carrots, sweet corn and green beans. As much as I would have loved to have thrown some stuffing directly on the pizza, Shane and I couldn’t figure out how to properly cook it together with the pizza – since the breadcrumbs need to marinate in vegetable broth and all – so instead we gave the crust a hint of stuffinf flavor by infusing it with veggie broth. And, for bonus points, we served stuffing on the side, along with extra gravy, homemade cranberry sauce, and mashed potatoes and mixed veggies (both left over pizza toppings). For dessert, we dined on razzleberry pie topped with vanilla ice cream. Both store-bought, since we were exhausted enough after cooking the main course to even think about making the sweets by hand!

You can find recipes for all of the homemade items (PIZZA INCLUDED!) here.

 

Two slices down, six to go!

 

Shane’s plate; he slathered his stuffing in cranberry sauce.

 

Personally, cranberry sauce – being sweet and sugary and all – strikes me as more of dessert item. Which is why I enjoyed a few spoonfuls with a bowl of vanilla ice cream while waiting for the dough to rise! But I digress…

 

My plate! “Gravy” is the word of the day, dontchknow.

 

The only time it’s acceptable to eat a pizza with a fork is when it’s
a) covered in mashed potatoes or b) a deep dish pie of some kind.

 

Licking my plate clean!

 

Bring out the pie!

 

Pizza & ice cream, could a more perfect pairing exist?

Emma loves her papa!
CC image via flickr user Vegan Flower (Molly!).
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Hey there lovely people! I have a homework assignment for the dog people in the audience. Don’t worry, it’s short and kind of sweet and won’t distract from your holiday festivities. Dr. Frank McMillan at Best Friends Animal Society is studying human-nonhuman bonding and, as part of his background research, is soliciting stories of love and devotion from those who share their lives with dogs. How do you know that your dog friend loves you? The answer can be short or long-form, simple or multifaceted. Just TELL HIM STORIES! (Always quote His Dark Materials. ALWAYS!)

Here’s the call for submissions, which appeared in the November/December 2011 issue of Best Friends magazine:

BEST FRIENDS NEEDS YOUR HELP

If you have a dog who expresses love toward you, we would like to hear your story.

In a very special new study, we are looking in-depth at the emotions of bonding and affection – love – shown by dogs toward their human companions. For background research, we would like to collect stories of dogs’ expressions of love. The story could be about a single incident of your dog’s show of love and devotion, or the ways your dog demonstrates love within your overall relationship. It could simply be an answer to the question: How do you know your dog loves you? If you would like to share your story, please email it to Dr. Frank McMillan at dr.frank@bestfriends.org.

You may recall that I’ve written about Dr. McMillan’s research previously in this here space; see, e.g. Scientists, Poets, Changemakers and Heroes (Volunteer Opportunities & Action Alerts). (Wow, has it been two years already?) Participating in vegan-friendly research projects such as this is an awesome and fun way to contribute to science. And easy, too!

Dr. McMillan posts notices of current research opportunities in Best Friends magazine, which comes “free” with a $25 donation to Best Friends. (We made a donation in Ozzy’s name for their annual Blessing of the Animals ceremony.) In the future, I’ll try to relay new notices as quickly as possible, for those who don’t get the magazine. Forgetting is easy, since a) I tend to let my subscription lapse and b) the notices are somewhat inconspicuous and easy to miss! But I’ll do better, I promise. This stuff is important, yo!

While we’re doing the bulletin board thing, joyful vegan goddess Colleen Patrick-Goudreau recently posted this notice on her FB page:

Call for vegan experts: I’m building a directory of everything from vegan wellness practitioners (chiropractors, acupuncturists, dietitians, naturopaths, nutritionists, psychologists, nurse practitioners, massage therapists, veterinarians) to vegan cooking class instructor and chefs. Wherever you are, if you are vegan and fall into any of the first categories, please email lisa@compassionatecooks.com so we can include you. If you teach cooking classes or have a catering company or are a personal chef, please email colleendavis@compassionatecooks.com. We need the city and state your in, your name, and your website! PLEASE PASS IT ON!

Also, VegListings is a newish directory for vegetarian and vegan businesses; it might come in handy for shoppers as well as business owners, especially with the holidays fast approaching! In the past I’ve put together social justice-themed buying guides; this year, I briefly considered compiling a list of vegan shops on etsy (love me some etsy!) – and then I stumbled upon the Vegan Etsy Team page, making my idea seem redundant.

…and I hope you will too!

So go, browse, buy (if you can). If not, maybe you’ll be inspired to give gifts crafted by your own two hands this holiday season. It’s fun!

(Image via Herbivore, by way of Vegan Etsy.)

You heard me right people! Shane and I made a holiday pizza tonight and it was YUM-TASTIC! Gravy, Tofurky slices, garlic and chive mashed potatoes, carrots, even a crust flavored with veggie broth – this pizza has it going ON! If these pies were able to withstand the vagaries on the US postal service, I’d send several each to every lucky Jane and Dick on my x-mas list come December. AND LEAVE THEM BEGGING FOR MORE!

Unfortunately, our execution was less than stellar – my Facebook status from earlier tonight was full-on panic mode, to wit: “emergency alert: pizza disaster in progress!!!” – so I don’t yet have a recipe to share with y’all. BUT. The good news is that we know where it all went wrong and are trying again come Thursday! So probably you’ll have a proper recipe by the weekend.

Until then, feast your eyes:

(The final product will be topped with a variety of mixed veggies; if this pizza looks a little sparse, it’s because we had all but given up by the time we got to the last layer. The dough gave out on us and we needed to get the pie in the oven, asap. NOTHING THAT TWENTY MINUTES AT 425F CAN’T FIX!)

The resemblance is spooktacular!
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Earlier this week, I feeling hungry and lazy and craving some pizza, but the husband – oh maker of all things pita pizza ’round these parts – was at work and thus unable to service me the way I so often required servicing (i.e. WITH FOOD. I’ll pause for a sec so that you can picture that, mkay.) The horras, right? After a little moping and low blood sugar-induced faintness (I know, such a child!), I realized that I had some white rolls sitting in the fridge. Perfect for mini toaster oven pizzas, just like dad used to make me as a kid!

The first few batches came out looking like angel wings to me, at least when you touched them tip-to-tip, like so; but, after further noming, I saw that the shape of the rolls was just the slightest bit curvy, and vaguely reminiscent of a ghost. And so Casper the Friendly Ghost Pizzas were born! (Also: an excuse to eat more mini pizzas!)

These are super-simple and quick to make, with maybe five minutes of assembly and ten minutes of cook time required. You just need:

Start by cutting the roll down the middle. Add the red sauce, followed by the cheese, “eyes” and “mouth.” Bake in a toaster oven at 425 degrees F for ten to fifteen minutes, or until the cheese is nice and melty. Eat and repeat!

(Fyi, if you can’t find any ghost-shaped rolls, use something round – like a soyburger bun or English Muffin – and make a mummy instead!)

For the cheese, I went with Vegan Gourmet’s Follow Your Heart. Rather than shredding it, I cut thin strips from the block, thinking that layered pieces would give more even white coverage. I also added a few shreds towards the bottom of each ghost’s body, for that ragged, ripped sheet effect. Pre-cooking, they looked more like goatees than anything else. Pubescent Casper, represent!
 

Kelly food. Yeah, that’s what.

 
* Sorry for the caps, I JUST LOVE PIZZA SO MUCH!