I thought you were a bitch.

Friday, June 8th, 2012

2011-09-21 - Mags is a BITCH! - 0011

On the season finale of 30 Rock, Kenneth Parcell redefined the term “bitch” in a way that tickled my vegan feminist funny bone. (Yes, vegans and feminists have funny bones too!)

“And to think I thought Hazel was a bitch. Friendly and loyal, like a well-trained female dog. She isn’t a bitch. She’s a meanie pants.”

30 Rock, “What Will Happen to the Gang Next Year?” (Season 6, episode 22)

The part about being “well-trained” aside – ambitious and outspoken, bitches are anything but – I’d say that this is pretty spot on. Given that the observation comes from the “backward hick” character – famous for his nonsensical, fundamentalist Christian / quaint agrarian brand of “wisdom” – I’m not sure whether the audience is supposed agree. Whatever. Some of my best friends are bitches. Exhibit A: Mags, above, sunbathing on a copy of Bitch magazine.

On related note, this little tidbit from Texts from Last Night – re-purposed for Texts from the X-Files – also made me smile.

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For those who can’t view the image, it’s still of Dana Scully speaking to another woman; her back is turned to the camera, so I can’t identify her, but she’s a tallish brunette. The texts reads, “(716): I’d call her a cunt, but she doesn’t seem to have the depth or warmth.”

The moral of the story? Bitches and cunts are awesome.

vegan nomz roundup!: pizza ed.

Saturday, May 14th, 2011

2011-04-12 - Pizza To-Do List 01

Make pizza, photograph pizza, eat pizza, blog pizza, repeat.
THE ONLY TO DO LIST THAT MATTERS. LIVE BY IT!
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Lately I’ve been all about food and furkids. More specifically, pizza & ice cream and cats & dogs. It’s my own form of escapism, yo. (Burnout, who me?) So, while it might seem like I haven’t been up to much lately – particularly to those of you who just follow me here – the truth is that I’m still blogging, just in other spaces, including a few new places.

For instance: fuck yeah vegan pizza and fuck yeah vegan ice cream. I started these sister blogs on tumblr after realizing that my food self can basically be boiled down to these two foodstuffs. (And further realizing that posting mouth-watering photos of gooey, oozy, melty, cheesy pizza slices and delightfully decadent frozen desserts is worlds more fun than beating my head against the twin walls of speciesism and misogyny that encircle the feminist and animal advocacy communities. End: rant.) If you’re on tumblr, please follow and submit! (Photos, not yourself!) If not, sign up. I need you!

Also, I’ve been cooking up a storm in my real-world kitchen too, experimenting with new pizza and ice cream recipes, some of them developed by my own bad self. (Which would explain why I’ve gained ten lbs. since x-mas, but I digress.) Possibly you might be wondering where in the worlds I’ve been hoarding these delicious new dishes? Though I’ll save the ice cream not-porn for another day – this post is called “vegan nomz roundup!: pizza ed.” for a reason, peoples! – today I’d like to talk about some of the many pizzas I’ve made so far this year. All of the recipes are available on the PPP blog. (ETA: I also post uber-adorable photos of adoptable animals every Friday! You’ve been warned!)

(Certainly you remember the Perfect Pizza Press, yes? It’s a pizza cutter-esque kitchen utensil that Shane invented in ’09. He hired a welder to make a prototype based on his design and, when it proved a success, we decided to sell it online. While the website has been functional for months now, the presses are not yet available for purchase. Obtaining samples from local manufacturers has proven slow-going, and my recent health issues haven’t exactly sped things along. During the limbo we’ve been feasting on vegan pizza – for the blog/business, of course – so it’s a wash I guess!)

Possibly you’ll find that some of these pies are a repeat; if so, this is only because they rocked so hard the first time that they could not be denied an encore!

Listed in reverse chronological order; if you do nothing else, you simply must scroll through for the awesomness that is the Garbage Plate Pizza! Look for it in the middle.

And yes, I realize that these are all terribly unhealthy, over-processed, fat-laden dishes; again, see: my recent unexpected weight gain. (Unexpected? What did I think would happen when I bought Daiya in bulk? Play with fire much?) The good news? Now that I’m overhauling my diet to include pizzas with less or no cheese; thinner crusts topped with more fruits, veggies, nuts and seeds; and dough involving a greater variety of flours, future dishes will (mostly) be on the healthy side. Consider this the junk food pizza roundup.

Personal Pita Pizzas!

2011-04-02 - Kelly's Pita Pizza - 0002

(More below the fold…)