Carbs & Rec: Champion’s Peanut Butter Oatmeal Birthday Biscuits

Tuesday, September 30th, 2014

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If you were to ask me to name my all-time favorite Parks & Rec character, no matter how minor or short-lived, I would hem and haw and slowly but surely work my way through the merits of Ron (meat!) vs. Leslie (feminist ambition!) vs. Ben (calzones and nerd pride!) vs. Andy (fun and goofy) vs. April (the misanthrope with a heart of gold) vs. Donna (chill as fuck) vs. Dave Sanderson (adorable!) vs. Jean-Ralphio (not! HE IS THE WORST!) before settling on the obvious choice, the character who stole my heart without uttering a single line: Champion, April and Andy’s rescue dog.

Ben: That is a three legged dog.
Andy: Yeah, his name is Champion. Because he is the world dog champion.
Ben: I’m sorry. I have to ask this, but how many legs did that dog have when you found him?
Andy: Three! That’s what makes him the best. He can do more with three legs than most dogs can do with four.
April: Except for digging. He’s really bad at digging.
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I’m with April: cats and dogs are infinitely preferable to people.

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Book Review: The Culling (The Slave Girl Chronicles #1), JC Andrijeski (2014)

Friday, February 21st, 2014

A dystopian alien abduction story – WITH DINOSAURS!

three out of five stars

(Full disclosure: I received a free electronic copy of this book for review through Library Thing’s Member Giveaway program. Also, vague spoilers in the last few paragraphs.)

Nineteen-year-old Jet Tetsuo is a skag. Along with thousands of other human refugees, Jet spends most of her time underground, eking out the barest existence beneath the ruins of what once was Vancouver. It’s this, or risk capture by the Nirreth: a race of blue, bipedal, lizard-like aliens that invaded Earth several generations before. Rumor has it that the Nirreth vivisect humans, keep them as slaves, and even cook and eat them. To be picked up by a Nirreth culling ship means certain death. Or at least that’s the word in the skag pits that Jet calls home.

A fierce fighter who’s skilled with the blade, Jet saves most of her worries for her younger brother, Biggs, who’s been spending a dangerous amount of time hanging around the rebel fighters. It’s him she’s thinking of when, out on a trading errand overworld, she’s spotted and captured by a Nirreth culling ship. In time, she learns that she’s a “special commission”: the ship’s captain, Eamon Richter, former leader of the resistance in Vancouver, abducted Jet for sale to the Nirreth High Command for the Pacific Region – “The Royals” for short. Like many humans kidnapped to the Green Zones (park-like cities constructed by the Nirreth), Jet is to be a pet for her Nirreth owner’s amusement. In addition to providing protection to Ogli, the young heir to the throne, Jet is slated to fight in the Rings for the amusement of Nirreth crowds. But only if she can pass the demonstration.

The first installment in The Slave Chronicles, The Culling is an enjoyable and fast-paced read. It’s got everything a YA (NA?) scifi fan could want: A kick-ass heroine. Sword play. Space ships and intergalactic travel. Environmental collapse. A burgeoning rebellion. Alien colonizers. Dinosaurs, even!

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