Eat to the Beat: Maple Pecan Waffles with Smothered, Covered Hashbrowns & Bloodhound Gang

Sunday, October 28th, 2012


The song: “The Bad Touch” by Bloodhound Gang (lyrics)

The foodstuff: Maple Pecan Waffles with Smothered, Covered Hash Browns

The connection: “I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns”


Maple Pecan Waffles with Smothered, Covered Hashbrowns (inspired by the Waffle House) (0055)

Sunday brunch, Waffle House styley!

With a name like “Waffle House,” you’d expect the restaurant’s menu to include all sorts of weird and wacky waffle dishes, right? Kind of like IHOP and its ridic pancake selection. I can just picture it: Seasonal pumpkin waffles with a creamy cream cheese sauce. Chocolate chip waffles buried in a mountain of whipped cream. Blueberry waffles drowning in berry syrup. Stacks of waffles of all shapes and flavors and sizes. Sweet and savory and everything in between. A veritable cornucopia of crispy breakfast goodness!

(Is your stomach growling yet, or is it just me and mine?)

Except, not so much. If the online menu is any indication (and having never been, I wouldn’t know – so correct me if I’m wrong!), the Waffle House only serves two kinds of waffles: plain and pecan. BOO-RING!

But the hash browns? They’re a whole ‘nother story! Considering the infinite ways a Waffle Housian may enjoy her grilled shredded potatoes, the Waffle House should really be called “Captain Cholesterol’s Hash Brown & Heart Attack Emporium.” Get ’em in a regular, large, or triple (!) serving. Smother them with sauteed onions. Cover them with cheese. Enjoy them “chunked” (laced with ham – thanks but no!), “diced” (tomatoes), “peppered” (jalapenos), “capped” (mushrooms), “topped” (chili!), or “country” (gravy). Or any combination of the above. Country topped and peppered, you say? Surely someone’s been there, done that.


Maple Pecan Waffles with Smothered, Covered Hashbrowns (inspired by the Waffle House) (0016)

Exhibit A: Hash browns “smothered” with onions.

I know all this because – and only because – of today’s soundtrack, the Bloodhound Gang’s “The Bad Touch,” which never fails to make me crave breakfast food like a mofo. Amid all the sexual innuendo, the band drops in a reference to the Waffle House menu: “I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hash browns.” I always assumed that the toppings alluded to were of the usual suspects: ketchup and hot sauce, maybe some onions or peppers. Never did I imagine the oral delights dreamed up by mad geniuses on the Waffle House R&D team.


Maple Pecan Waffles with Smothered, Covered Hashbrowns (inspired by the Waffle House) (0041)

Example #2: Hash browns “covered” in cheese sauce.
(Technically these hash browns are smothered AND covered, but you get the idea!)

And so for our menu today, a brunch inspired by the Bloodhound Gang and pulled straight from the pages of the Waffle House menu: Pecan Waffles (topped with maple syrup, bananas, and chopped pecans for that extra-special touch), served with Smothered, Covered Hash Browns.

And I have recipes for each! The hash browns are all my own (the cheese sauce? it’s what I normally use to make mac & cheese – so good I could drink it from a mug!), but I based the waffles on a recipe found in Vegan Junk Food. fwiw, Land Gold includes a epic-looking recipe for Creamy Maple Sauce to accompany her waffles, but I decided to skip it since I ran out of burners. It sounds amazing though. A sugar coma in liquid form.

By the way, the smothered and covered hash browns? WILL MAKE YOU MOAN. Eat them in understanding company, mkay.


Maple Pecan Waffles with Smothered, Covered Hashbrowns (inspired by the Waffle House) (0030)

The bananas really class this junk food up.

(More below the fold…)

hash brown pizza: done!

Wednesday, January 4th, 2012

Remember that hash brown pizza I was working on? Well, it’s done! And it is awesome! Seriously one of my favorites yet, third only to the Cheesy Vegan Tater Tot / Garbage Plate Pizzas and the Vegan Bacon & Cheddar Double Potato Pizza.

In contrast to the original hash brown pizza, I made a cheese sauce (a la mac & cheese) and mixed it with the hash browns and breakfast sausage before adding it to the pizza. This made all the diff. So much cheese! So moist and gooey! The hash browns alone are delish, but the cheese sauce is what makes this pizza amazaballs! It’s always about the cheese, amirite people?

Anyway, recipe here. Eye candy below. Holiday food roundup coming soon.

2011-12-24 - Hash Brown Pizza - 0010

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vegans at work

Tuesday, November 8th, 2011

omgs you guys, I’m working on a “breakfast” pizza right now and jkshdgds!

2011-11-06 - Cheddar Hash Brown Pizza - 0020

I’d still like to experiment with a few different prep methods before posting a proper recipe, but the first try (pictured above) consists of a fluffy white pizza crust, brushed with a few tablespoons of margarine (softened at room temp) and topped with garlic salt, a layer of cheddar Daiya cheese, fried Lightlife Smart Links (diced, of course), hash browns, and a second layer of cheese on top. Bake at 425 degrees F for 15 to 20 minutes and then fall into your soft bed of carb-on-carb pizza action. (Pssst! Daiya is your comforter!)

Warning: do not operate heavy machinery while eating this pizza! You WILL shoot someone’s eye out.

* I would totally change the name of this place to Junk Food Vegan if wasn’t already taken! But there’s nothing up there! FOR THE LOVE OF DOG GET ON IT PEOPLE!

Updated to add: AND WE HAVE A WINNER!