Mini-Review: Fowl Language: Welcome to Parenting, Brian Gordon (2016)

Monday, March 21st, 2016

Naps are objectively the best tho.

three out of five stars

(Full disclosure: I received a free ebook for review through NetGalley.)

Are you a mom or a dad? How wonderful and annoying for you!
Do you know someone who will soon have a baby? How exciting and terrifying for them!
Are your friends parents, too? Of course they are, those poor sons of bitches…

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then FOWL LANGUAGE is for you.
If you answered no, then congratulations, and feel free to sleep in this weekend!

Even though I’m childfree by choice, I picked up a copy of Fowl Language because a) who doesn’t love humorous web comics and b) I have adopted seven dogs over the years and caring for dogs can’t be completely different, right? Like, I’m pretty sure there’s got to be some overlap between asshole kids and asshole dogs.

Exhibit A: the only time my dogs let me sleep in is if the sky’s overcast and their bladders are close to empty. Otherwise I’m up with the sun, or at 2AM for a potty break. Sometimes, with the fosters, I even have to walk them out in the snow wearing nothing but slippers and a hoodie. They just can’t seem to pick the right spot unless I’m there to bear witness. Fun times. (And cats? It’s 4AM, or whenever they’re feeling insufficiently entertained. Shoot me now.)

Exhibits B through I: these comic strips, to which this dog person was totally able to relate.

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(Replace “covered in stickers” with “covered in dog hair” and this could be me.)

(More below the fold…)

Book Review: Adulthood is a Myth: A "Sarah’s Scribbles" Collection, Sarah Andersen (2016)

Friday, March 4th, 2016

Not Just for Millennials!

five out of five stars

(Full disclosure: I received a free e-book for review through NetGalley.)

Are you a special snowflake? Do you love networking to advance your career? Have you never wasted a fresh new day surfing the internet? Ugh. This book is not for you. Please go away.

This book is for the rest of us. These comics document the wasting of entire beautiful weekends on the internet, the unbearable agony of holding hands on the street with a gorgeous guy, dreaming all day of getting home and back into pajamas, and wondering when, exactly, this adulthood thing begins. In other words, the horrors and awkwardness of young modern life.

I’m 37 years old (emphasis on old) and am still waiting for the day when it feels like I’ve crossed over into adulthood. My lack of human kids doesn’t help, but you’d think my dog kids (both rescue and foster) would help get me at least halfway there. But I prefer sweatpants to jeans (skirts and slacks, what?), never carry a purse (though will stoop to a tote bag if absolutely necessary, like when begging fistfuls of free sample meds from the dermatologist), and wear sports bras exclusively (but only if I must). Last summer our water got shut off for a day because I didn’t realize that the city, in its infinite wisdom (i.e. laziness), had ceased its direct deposit payment plan and now requires all bills to be paid by cash or check. I have a bachelor’s degree that’s probably too old to mean anything anymore, and am still trying to figure out what I want to do when I grow up with my life.

In short, Sarah Andersen might be a Millennial, but I can still relate to much of what’s in Adulthood is a Myth.

Like, any one of these could be an illustration in my (definitely not best-selling) autobiography.

(More below the fold…)

Mini-Review: Poorly Drawn Lines: Good Ideas and Amazing Stories, Reza Farazmand (2015)

Wednesday, October 7th, 2015

Party or Daiya

four out of five stars

(Full disclosure: I received a free electronic ARC for review on NetGalley.)

If you use the internets, chances are you’ve encountered a Poorly Drawn Lines strip at some point in your travels. Creator Reza Farazmand has a generous fair use policy (non-commercial attribution; also, they’re kind of genius, so there’s that), and they really seem to get around. Which is good: though I count myself a fan, I often forget to keep up in the absence of an email newsletter. I know, how quaint! So you can imagine how thrilled I was when I learned of Farazmand’s new book on NetGalley!

Filled with a mix of old and new material, Poorly Drawn Lines highlights the same irreverent humor and uncanny insight that the web strip is known for. Here you’ll find plot twists old and new: douchey owls, birds who are totally judging you, smack-talking robots, cheese goals you should adopt like yesterday, mountains that want to be human, various apocalypse scenarios – and yes, Ernesto the bear from space.

In with the new stuff are a smattering of essays which are enjoyable enough, but not nearly as rad as the comics. Since they have the same weird, off-beat vibe as the strips, sometimes the essays feel just a step or two removed from explaining a joke. (Excessive elaboration, no want!) I could easily envision them more artfully done up as three- to nine-panel strips.

I read this on a Kindle and was surprised to find that the comics actually look okay: small, yet readable enough. Naturally the art is much more impressive on my laptop and iPad, but options are good.

Try it if you like: Calvin & Hobbes; Hyperbole and a Half; animals behaving badly.

(This review is also available on Amazon, Library Thing, and Goodreads. Please click through and vote it helpful if you’re so inclined!)

Book Review: Hyperbole and a Half, Allie Brosh (2013)

Monday, December 16th, 2013

YOU NEED THIS BOOK.

four out of five stars

I kind of feel like a d-bag using the term “laugh out loud funny” in a review – or any kind of everyday conversation, for that matter – but Hyperbole and a Half is just that. Several times I got to laughing so hard that one or more of my dogs fled the room in fear and confusion. Whether reliving especially bizarre and embarrassing childhood memories (my mother will be relieved to know that I was not the only ten-year-old to run around on all fours, lapping water from bowls, pretending to be a leopard or a horse or a slobbering German Shepherd), or trying to reassure her neurotic rescue dog (see: the previous sentence), Brosh’s stories are consistently hilarious, not a little heartbreaking, and totally relatable. In an interview I caught online, Brosh said that she draws herself as a lumpy, weird-looking little creature because that’s how she sees herself. I know the feels.

Fans of the web comic may wonder whether they really need to buy this book. Rest assured: YOU NEED THIS BOOK. If you don’t buy it, at least borrow it from the library (have fun waiting out the queue!). With a mix of previously published (“The Party,” “The God of Cake,” “Depression” Parts One and Two) and new material (“The Hot Sauce Debacle,” “Lost in the Woods,” “Identity” Parts One and Two), you don’t want to miss out. Plus, you kind of have to love a book whose dedication page reads “For Scott. What now, fucker?” And the chapters are even color-coded, yo! This is easily one of the soundest buying decisions I made in 2013.

Not sure what to get your potty-mouthed introvert of a cousin this holiday season? Unlike the writhing mass of anxiety and self-loathing that forms the heart of this book, Hyperbole and a Half will easily fit inside an x-mas stocking. Bonus points if it’s paw-shaped.

As much as I adore it, I’m giving Hyperbole and a Half four stars instead of the full five because the author uses the r-word to refer to “the simple dog.” Not cool.

(This review is also available on Amazon, Library Thing, and Goodreads. Please click through and vote it helpful if you’re so inclined!)