scenes from a vegan marriage: priorities!

Wednesday, July 4th, 2012

Shane: Do you ever go swimming [in the pond] when I’m not home?

Me: Not really. You’re almost always here. Why, are you worried about me drowning? You think you can save me? [He can’t swim!]

Shane: I was just wondering, for when I’m at TAM. If you drown, the dogs will be alone all week.

Me: Jeez, thanks.

furkid friday: scenes from a vegan marriage, redux

Friday, May 20th, 2011

2011-05-20 - Lemmy - 0002

Shane: Hey, come look at this! See Lemmy’s new favorite spot? [In the closet, sandwiched into my old monitor stand.]

Me: OMG, that’s ADORABLE! Did you get a picture? You have to take a picture!

Shane: [pause] I’m not gonna be one of those people who shares cat pictures online.

Me: What! I’m one of those people!

Shane: ….

Me: Well, I’m taking a picture then.

I bet he’ll share this post on Facebook.

scenes from a vegan marriage

Thursday, March 24th, 2011

Hop (2011)

Shane (kidding, obvs): So, do you want to see Hop?

Me: Uh, no.

S: Why not? It’s about an Easter Bunny! Who craps vegan jelly beans!

Me: You don’t know that they’re vegan.

S: Sure they are, if he gives them to you freely.

Me: They’re only vegan jelly beans if he’s a herbivore. If he, say, ingests horse bones so that his body has gelatin with which to manufacture them, then they aren’t vegan.

(Pause.)

Me: I cannot believe that we’re discussing this.

He is so getting laid tonight.

Sunday, July 1st, 2007

The husband spent the weekend in Vegas for his brother’s bachelor party. He sent me the following series of IM’s last night. Swoon. My hero.

(00:34:59) orzonal: hey
(00:34:59) kgarbato : Sorry, you missed me!
(00:35:47) orzonal: eh, brb, i need to get something to drink
(00:41:54) orzonal: eh, you’re prolly sleeping
(00:42:04) orzonal: had an interesting evening
(00:42:35) orzonal: josh and his friends decided to go to the playboy club..couldn’t pay me to go there, so I took off, and was taking a walk around the casino
(00:42:40) orzonal: outside
(00:43:29) orzonal: so I pass this car in a handicap spot, and I notice a young woman trying to, what looked like to me, feed a dog in a car
(00:43:56) orzonal: it looked a little fishy, but I thought maybe she was locked out or something and was trying to help her dog
(00:44:16) orzonal: turns out it wasn’t hers, but she’d been there waiting with the dog for like 45 mins
(00:44:34) orzonal: the bike security guys wouldn’t help her, so she was waiting with him
(00:44:53) orzonal: he had plenty of air, and I don’t think he could have died of heat..but it was in a casino parking lot?
(00:44:55) orzonal: !!
(00:45:17) orzonal: the woman, before I got there, went inside and got a bowl and put a water dish for him in the back seat
(00:45:20) orzonal: so..
(00:45:37) orzonal: i took a snapshot with my phone of the license plate and went to the concierge
(00:46:10) orzonal: they called security to go out there
(00:46:16) orzonal: i went back to the car
(00:46:22) orzonal: and waited to make sure security came
(00:46:23) orzonal: they did
(00:46:28) orzonal: with the old couple
(00:46:41) orzonal: the woman who had been waiting just went off of the old couple
(00:47:18) orzonal: at that point security asked the old couple to go home, and essentially kicked them out for the night

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2005-08-07 - MyDogIsCool-0008

Related: IDA’s My Dog Is Cool campaign

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