Willie Nelson, a fourteen-year-old best friend, and an old dog’s bucket list?

Monday, June 29th, 2015

A sneak preview for all our Facebook friends. Enjoy the story of a Subaru Impreza owner taking his loyal, old dog on one more amazing trip. Also, show us how you #MakeADogsDay.

Posted by Subaru of America, Inc. on Sunday, June 28, 2015

Subaru, you have effective destroyed me for the rest of the day.

(The “old girlfriend” one hits me especially hard, since fourteen years on I still feel like a complete shit for taking Ralphie away from Shadow.)

furkid friday: happy mother’s day

Friday, May 6th, 2011

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Scenes of compassion, consideration and love from my own life.
Counterclockwise, from top-left: the family of geese who shared “my” pond last year,
and who have returned again this season (no goslings yet though!);
my sister Michelle and brother Mike cuddle and comfort our canine sibling Shadow
shortly after surgery to repair her shattered back leg;
Ralphie and I share a moment during a sentimental visit to
our old neighborhood in Fairport, NY; and
a mother cow licks her baby clean.
Sadly, both were the property of our former landlords, and are most likely ground beef by now. It was a privilege to live next to such lovely creatures – but one constantly clouded by sadness and despair, given their near-certain fate. The knowing can be painful; but the not knowing is far, far worse. Go vegan, for you and for them.
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One does not need to be human to feel the deep-seated instinct to protect her babies, to seek the warmth of one’s mother. When animal advocates point out the obvious – that mothers and their babies suffer profoundly when they are separated, that harming one’s baby causes emotional trauma to the mother – we are accused of anthropomorphizing. We are portrayed as having centers as squishy as marshmallows, as having naive, sentimental, childish minds. In fact, it is a cold biological imperative, not just an emotional one, that drives a mother to want to nurture and protect her young: entire species would be wiped out if not for a mother’s instinct to defend her babies. I think, though, that it’s highly arrogant and self-serving to presume that humans alone have an emotional stake in their babies’ livelihoods. […]

One also doesn’t need to be a mother to be deeply driven to protect another. Long before I ever had a baby, I felt the same kind of adrenaline surge when someone intentionally whipped a hard rubber ball at my dog as I would have if he had done that same thing years later to my son. I chased that guy down the beach, screaming at him, and he ran away as if his life depended on it. Maybe it did. I’m a non-violent person, but you don’t mess with the ones I love.

For Mother’s Day, I propose that we honor this natural drive within all of us to protect the ones we love, the ones who depend on our consideration, by not consuming the products of exploitation and cruelty. This common thread of wanting our babies to thrive is natural and noble, a key part of our essential being. Whether we are men or women, children or adults, human or hen, that universal mother is in all of us. Let’s celebrate without exploiting another innocent mother who had not only the autonomy of her body but also her babies stolen from her for our appetites. Let’s connect to that profound mothering spirit that links us together. She wants her babies to be well and protected from harm. I think we can understand.

Happy Mother’s Day to everyone.

….with extra special hugs and kisses (and a few odd few bitter tears) to Miss Kaylee, of course.*

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* Usually I stick with the status-neutral “Ms.,” but Kaylee prefers “Miss.” It makes her feel young, yo!

** The quote is excerpted from The Universal Mother… by Marla Rose, the one and only Vegan Feminist Agitator. Read and share, please and thanks.

randomness: dicks, donuts, girls, books, ice creams, pigs and pizzas!

Thursday, August 5th, 2010

Fan Junk Shots - Ralphie 01

  • www.schlongs4seals.com is now open and ready for business!

    Currently, only the blog – where I’ve already logged more posts in August than I managed to write for this here blog in the entire month of July – is fully functional. I’m still working on the promised interactive photo gallery and discussion features, but hope to have these done soon. (To this end, WP-compatible software recommendations would be most appreciated!)

    That said, the template and static/informational pages are all finished and look, if I might say so myself, kickass. I found a template that mimics Facebook almost to a M (for misogyny, natch), so it’s almost like we never left. (And by “left” I mean “were kicked off.”)

    Additionally, I created a temporary set of photo pages to house all the “man meat” I’ve “processed” thus far: VAPETA PSAs, promotional materials, junk shots, celebrity cock shots, South Park avatars, brother campaigns, etc. Browse, bookmark and check back often, because there’s more in the pipes.

    If you’re still out there and, um, excited to participate (excited! get it!?), send me your package at schlongs4seals [at] gmail.com and I’ll be equally excited (tee hee) to feature it on the appropriate page.

    Also, if you visit the front page, you’ll see a little Facebook “like” button in the left-hand sidebar (right under the hot white torso wearing the hot red boxer briefs). Click it, won’t you? We need friends! And sharing! On Facebook!

    Fan Junk Shots - Baby Kelly 02

    I’ve been a connoisseur of men’s briefs since early childhood.
    Behold the rapturous glee on my chubby chipmunk cheeks!
    ——————————

    SeaL Shepherd may have succeeded in removing our page from Facebook, but he can hardly prevent us from sharing content in the form of links.

    Can’t stop the schlong, yo.

    (A note for the newbies and occasional readers: if all this cock talk has you flummoxed, go here for some background.)

  • Tofurky Pizza with Daiya Cheese has finally made its way to Kansas City!:

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    The Whole Foods in Overland Park, to be more specific. And now it’s in my freezer. Nom nom nom.

  • As if this isn’t already more awesomeness than the KC metro area can handle, Kansas City is now home to a brand-spanking-new vegan bakery. Gluten-free, to boot. And, if you live in the KC area, they deliver!

    Shane ordered a box of Golden Girls – the vegan feminist version of “real” Twinkies, if you will – for delivery to his office Monday.

    2010-08-02 - Golden Girls - 0010

    They are super-yummy – a little denser than Twinkies (according to Shane; I’ve never partaken), with a sponge- or angel food cake-like consistency. The creamy filling is the bestest, though methinks the cakes could use more. I say the same of Ronald’s Donuts and Newman’s O’s, so grain of salt.

    Egads. In all my excitement, I almost forgot to name drop. Brody’s Bakery is the name of the biz – hit ’em up on Facebook, and if you’re ever in the KC area, shop team vegan, mkay? Jasmin of Our Hen House also did a nice writeup on Brody’s this week; see Brody’s Bakery Bakes Up Compassion. (Color me jealous, btw.)

  • (More below the fold…)

    One year buried, but never without.

    Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009

    2009-11-03 - In Loving Memory - 0008

    It was a year ago today that Shadow, my adopted canine sister and sweet pit bull friend, passed away. I cried for her – for me – often in those first weeks, and even now, it’s hard to type (delete, retype, rinse, repeat) through the tears. The pain has eased considerably with the passage of time, but will never completely disappear. Rather, Shadow has taken her place besides Bucky and Cap, Shannon and Shana, Pokey, Woody, Henry, Hooks I-III, Moe, Larry and Curly, and all the other nonhuman animals I befriended – and whose losses I grieved – during my youth. You may be one year buried, dear Shadow, but I will always carry you in my heart.

    One day you’ll be joined by your friend Ralphie, as well as all your other canine cousins: those who you’ve met, and those you’ve yet to meet. When that day comes – and whenever it comes, it will be much, much too soon – please greet him with lots of sloppy kisses. Because as difficult as your passing has been, I’m afraid it’s only been a practice run; the real pain is yet to come. When Ralphie leaves me, he’s going rip my heart in two. Whatever pieces he leaves behind, will be Peedee’s, O-Ren’s, Kaylee’s and (yes, even) Jayne’s to consume. And yet, my heart will forever be a dog’s – some dog’s – to tear.

    I miss you something awful, girl. Stay sweet.

    (More below the fold…)

    Be a Fairy Dog-Mother: Adopt a "less adoptable" animal companion!

    Wednesday, August 12th, 2009

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    As I mentioned a few weeks ago, today is the first (?) annual Adopt-a-Less-Adoptable-Pet Day! Petfinder created the holiday in order to raise awareness about animals who have an extra difficult time finding their forever homes, for a whole host of reasons.

    Among cats and dogs, animals who face added obstacles to being rehomed include:

    – Seniors and adults;
    – Animals with medical issues, including disability and disease;
    – Animals with emotional or behavioral issues, such as shyness or a nervous temperament;
    – Animals who must be the only nonhuman in the home;
    – Bonded animals who must be adopted as a pair – or, worse still, a trio, quartet, etc.;
    – Cats with feline leukemia (a transmissible disease);
    – Black dogs (for additional information, please see my post at Change.org on Black Dog Syndrome); and
    – Dogs who belong to a so-called “dangerous” breed (pit bulls being the “dangerous” breed de jour).

    If you plan on adopting an animal companion (or have adopted in the past), congratulations! With this one simple act, you become a hero to two animals – the one you rescued from a pound, shelter, rescue group or sanctuary, and also to the animal for whom you’re freed up a space in said pound, shelter, rescue group or sanctuary. According to the HSUS, between 3 and 4 million cats and dogs are killed (note: not “euthanized”) in U.S. shelters every year. While adopting one or two or even ten animals might seem a drop in the bucket, it makes a world of difference to the animals whose lives you’ve saved by adopting instead on buying.

    But, as always, there’s more you can do! In regards to animal adoption, go out of your way to choose a cat or dog who meets the above criteria. Naturally, you may not be able to deal with all of these issues; for example, if you already live with one healthy cat, a FIV+ feline is out of the question. Instead of focusing on what you cannot do, however, concentrate on how you can help animals in need. For example, adopting a black dog doesn’t take any more effort than adopting a multi-colored one.

    If your home is already filled to capacity, you can urge friends and family members to adopt – and to consider adopting a “less adoptable” animal, to boot. Or make a donation to any one of the hundreds+ animal rescue organizations across the country (and the globe) – many of which specifically focus on a population of “less adoptable” animals, be they companion, farmed, or “exotic”/wild animals.

    Of course, you can also help by spreading the word. Make this Adopt-a-Less-Adoptable-Pet Day a success by linking to Petfinder on Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, etc., and by telling the world about your “special” kids!

    Speaking of which, part two of my family’s own story is coming up next!

    [Pictured above is a very young me, circa 1997 – note the leather purse, ugh! on each count – with two of my family’s own “less adoptable” girls:

    Shannon the black mutt, one half of a 6-year-old pair of sisters we adopted from the local humane society (her sister, Shana, had already passed when this photo was taken); and

    Shadow the pit bull mix, who had been hit by a car and had a crushed leg when we found her.

    As with all our kids, they were both pure awesomeness, and I miss them more than words can say.]

    (More below the fold…)

    Buddy!

    Tuesday, February 10th, 2009

    Ever since Shadow passed away, my parents have been kinda-sorta looking for a new companion for Copper. Last night, mom emailed me a link to this listing on Petfinder:

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    Buddy is a wonderful boy with lots of energy. He is house trained and has manners. He was given up because an elder couple could not handle his high energy. He is a small cream lab with the cutest ears that flop foreword. He is very smart and and eager to please. He would be best placed with a family with a fenced in yard. Once he has run around the yard for 20 minutes he comes in the house and lays about. He likes playing tag and pull the stuffed bear. He is inquisitive and friendly. Buddy has just completed obedience training and is wonderful and perfect. He gets 10 paws for personality 10 paws for training and 10 paws for placement. Boy in picture free with dog.

    “Remind you of anyone?” mom asked.

    Indeed.

    (More below the fold…)

    Goodbye, my sweet pit bull girl.

    Monday, November 10th, 2008

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    Shadow came into our lives in the spring of ’97.

    It was June 2nd – late spring, early summer. I was just finishing up my freshman year of college. Busy with school, busy with work, busy with friends. Busy, busy, busy.

    Rochester springs are rainy, and the spring of 1997 was no exception. The last days of May saw a week-long rainstorm. Consequently, we spent little time outside that week. When the rain finally let up, my mom went out behind the garage – to do some yardwork, or maybe some spring cleaning. There, under our tree house on stilts, she found a shivering, emaciated little dog. The pup didn’t appear to have any identification – no collar or such – but she clearly wasn’t feral, either. She seemed scared of us, yet she didn’t bolt. My mother brought the skeletal dog a bowl of food and water. Gradually, the rest of the family arrived home from school and work, and we took turns trying to coax the little scrapper out from her cramped hiding place.

    By now, it was apparent that the dog was injured. Her skin was raw and marked with gravel, and she didn’t seem able to stand. After what felt like forever, my father was able to get a good enough grip on her. He hoisted her up and into the back of his car, and off to the vet they went.

    The veterinarian’s assessment, delivered the next day, was grim: the dog’s right rear leg was “shattered,” and she also had some minor cuts and bruises. Most likely she had been hit by a car: the point of impact, her broken, battered rear leg. Scraped skin and embedded gravel suggested a hard, skidding landing on pavement. She was in rough shape – and at the point of starvation, to boot.

    Due to the severity of her injuries – and, even more so, the potential cost of repairing and rehabilitating her damaged leg – the vet recommended we euthanize her. “It’s too much trouble,” he said. “Too much money to spend on some stray.”

    Luckily, my parents didn’t agree. I remember receiving a call from them that day at work: Well, Kelly, what do you think we should do? Even though they solicited our advice, I suspect that they’d already made their decision, and just needed an extra nudge from us kids. I think they wanted some reassurance that they weren’t crazy for spending a few grand to patch up a dog they didn’t even know. We were a solidly middle-class family, but two grand isn’t exactly peanuts for six people living on one income.

    (More below the fold…)

    Vegan Donuts & Vacation Pics

    Wednesday, July 26th, 2006

    Those dozen or so readers who have been with easyVegan since the beginning (meaning, June ’06) know that I just came back from twenty-one glorious days of vacation a few weeks ago. Well, I finally have the inevitable vacation pictures available for perusal over at Flickr. Just a tad bit late, yes, but in my defense my little sis managed to infect me with her germies right before I left, so I’ve spent most of the past two weeks in bed or, during my more lucid moments, doing mindless dreg work on the ‘puter. I’ll only post a small selection here, so if you’re one of those sickos who actually enjoys looking at other people’s vacation slideshows (gasp!), check out my Road Trippin’ ’06 set on Flickr.

    First up – THOSE VEGAN DONUTS from Ronald’s Donuts in Las Vegas:

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    Yes, yes, I know – one of the donuts does have a huge hunk missing. It’s in my belly. Well, technically, I guess they all ended up in my belly, but that half was ingested in the seconds before I snapped the pic. You see, I was so excited by the presence of VEGAN DONUTS that I wolfed half of ’em down before I even thought to take a picture.

    Luckily, we bought a second batch before our departure:

    2006-07-01 - VeganDonuts-0003

    Have you ever seen anything so beautiful? It brings a tear. (Guess you’ve gotta be a veg*n to understand.)

    Sadly, the donuts didn’t fare too well on the plane ride back. I still ate ’em, though. Hey, it’s hard to completely annihilate such sweetness.

    Interestingly, Grist ran a story on green/veggie food options in Sin City not long after we returned to Kansas. It wasn’t a huge kick in the arse – having spent an afternoon researching vegan eateries on Happy Cow before the trip, I was well-versed on all the guilt-free options available in Vegas – but it was fun to note which of the featured businesses we had hit up during our weeklong stay. We went grocery shopping at the new Whole Foods mentioned in the article, and ordered lunch from Rainbow’s End Natural Foods & Café. It isn’t nearly the dealio as is Ron’s Donuts (c’mon, what trumps VEGAN DONUTS!?), but it definitely rocks the strip. Certainly, Vegas is unexpectedly welcoming to veg*ns – just don’t go there during the summer months. Trust me.

    And DO stop by Ronald’s, at least once. Screw the diet, it’s worth it.

    While in Vegas, we also…

    (More below the fold…)