Carbs & Rec: ALL the Bacon & Eggs I Have!

Sunday, September 21st, 2014

Update: Ron & I won a MoFie!

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Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I’m worried what you just heard was, “Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.” What I said was, “Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.” Do you understand?
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Ron Swanson is a simple man. He likes pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food, and frequents strip clubs strictly for the all-you-can-eat buffets. When in doubt, serve him bacon and eggs. Preferably all the bacon and eggs in the house.

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So when Shane and I were brainstorming how to do this quote justice, we came up with two ideas: a) Photoshop a weird collage of all the bacon and eggs I’ve ever made, with a disembodied Swanson head superimposed on top (Shane) or b) actually cook up an oversized platter of bacon and eggs (me).

I was torn, so I did the next best thing: them both!

Exhibit A: The Vegan Bacon & Eggs Poster.

all the bacon and eggs collage (with quote)

(More below the fold…)

strawberry banana yogurt tofu ice cream shake thingie

Monday, November 12th, 2012

2012-09-25 - Ice Cream Shake - 0002

 

An impromptu vegan milkshake I made by combining two scoops of Strawberry-Banana Yogurt Ice Cream with one scoop of Vanilla, I Scream ice cream (from The Tipsy Vegan; RIP Vegan MoFo VI!) and a few splashes of soy creamer to get things moving. Just blend until smooth and enjoy.

There’s so much goodness packed into this one little cup, y’all! Silken tofu, soy yogurt, (once-) fresh bananas and strawberries – vodka, even. I’m so making this again.

 

Eat to the Beat: Vanilla Espresso Shake & The White Stripes

Monday, October 29th, 2012

 

The song: “One More Cup of Coffee” by Bob Dylan (and covered by The White Stripes; lyrics)

The foodstuff: A Vanilla Espresso Shake from American Vegan Kitchen

The connection: Espresso-flavored milkshakes – my kind of coffee!

 

Vanilla Espresso Shake from American Vegan Kitchen (0005)

 

This milkshake was inspired by the shakes served at Strong Hearts Cafe in Syracuse, NY, which American Vegan Kitchen author Tami Noyes visits frequently on her way to Vermont. While I don’t need an excuse to indulge in frozen desserts – be it soft serve, ice cream cookie sammies, sundaes, milkshakes, whatever – an espresso-flavored shake is the perfect partner for this Bob Dylan song. I gave up hot coffee ages ago – I took my coffee with so much sugar and soy creamer that I started to fear for the integrity of my teeth (“Want some coffee with your sugar?”) – and so coffee-flavored desserts are the closest I get to the stuff nowadays.

The Vanilla Espresso Shake is about as lip-smacking good as you’d expect. Coffee crystals, vanilla ice cream, vanilla soy creamer, and vanilla extract – that’s it! Bliss can be yours in 90 seconds or less.

For the ice cream, I used the Vanilla, I Scream! from The Tipsy Vegan, which I had left over from last week. I was right: the coffee and (extra) vanilla flavoring completely eradicated the “blah blahness” of the silken tofu I complained about previously. Score! I know what I’ll be doing with the rest of it, wink wink.

 

Vanilla Espresso Shake from American Vegan Kitchen (0023)

 

Supposedly this recipe serves two, which is kind of laughable: it doesn’t even fill up one medium-sized glass! (And I added a little extra creamer, too!) The milkshakes you find at, say, The Chicago Diner are easily double this. Not to imply that I could have eaten more; one recipe was enough for me. But split this with a friend? NEVER!

 

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re: today’s soundtrack, I chose the White Stripes cover of “One More Cup of Coffee,” cause it’s creepier and thus more appropriate for the season. Best described as charmingly awful, Bob Dylan’s singing voice – which I love! – just doesn’t suit this song the way Jack White’s does. IMHO! No haters!

 

veganmofo 2012
Eat to the Beat

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Eat to the Beat: Vanilla, I Scream Ice Cream with Bing-Bang-Boom Cherry Sauce & The Runaways

Saturday, October 20th, 2012

 

The song: “Cherry Bomb” by The Runaways (lyrics)

The foodstuff: Vanilla, I Scream ice cream topped with Bing-Bang-Boom Cherry Sauce from The Tipsy Vegan

The connection: Boozy vegan ice cream, smothered in boozy vegan cherry sauce – ’nuff said!

 

Bing-Bang-Boom Cherry Sauce from Tipsy Vegan (0015)

 

Okay, so maybe it’s gotten a bit chilly for ice cream. Sweater season is upon us, and Thanksgiving is but a month away. But I’m a wild girl! I do what I want. Like eating ice cream. For breakfast! On Christmas morning! Not really, I usually have oatmeal. It’s good for the insides. But I could if I wanted to!

Besides, when I spotted the recipe for Bing-Bang-Boom Cherry Sauce in The Tipsy Vegan, I knew straight away that it’d be the perfect complement to “Cherry Bomb” by The Runaways. It’s right there in the name, yo! Bing-Bang-Boom and Bomb! Served with the Vanilla, I Scream ice cream because why not?

This cherry sauce is da bomb; it’d better be, seeing as it took me the better part of the afternoon to make it! Most of that time was spent cooking down the sauce on the stove top – an easy enough task – but the pitting of the cherries? Ugh, so tedious! If ever I make this sauce again, it will only be because I found pitted bing cherries in the freezer section. My nails are stained red (though it looks like they’re filthy with dirt – yuck!) and the little creases of skin where my fingertips meet the nails are sore, brutalized as they were by stubborn cherry pits.

But hey, my mouth is happy – and that’s really what it’s all about, right?

The cherry sauce is really rather simple – just a pound of cherries, some sugar, a bit of lemon juice and peel, and some corn starch to thicken things up. Oh, and a third a cup of brandy for the booze! Delicious as a dessert topping (think: ice cream, angel food cake, sweet bread), it’d make one hell of a pie filling, too.

And you’ll have enough leftovers for a pie, be it a hand pie or a full on cherry pie pie. This recipe makes a ridiculous amount of sauce! (Unless I vastly overestimated the number of cherries in a pound; always a possibility.) I added a few cups to a quart of frozen bananas to make cherry banana ice cream (recipe below!), and still had so much extra sauce that I ended up freezing some for later use. Um, not that I’m complaining, mind you.

 

Vanilla, I Scream ice cream from Tipsy Vegan (0005)

 

Less impressive is the Vanilla, I Scream ice cream. Schlimm uses a combination of silken tofu and coconut cream as the base, with vanilla beans and vanilla-infused vodka providing the seasoning. Unfortunately, I could still taste the blah blandness of the tofu underneath it all. I’ve tried silken tofu ice cream before, with great results – so I’m not opposed to the idea. This recipe in particular just wasn’t the best I’ve tried. Probably a few tablespoons of cocoa powder could fix that right up.

On the plus side, it came out rich and creamy, despite whatever doubts I had. I’m used to making ice cream batter on the stove, with the help of a thickening agent such as arrowroot powder. This one uses the blender, and no thickening agent. Even though the batter looked a bit on the thin side, it thickened up nicely in the ice cream machine. Weirdly, it contracted during freezing – usually the batter expands; fill the ice cream machine up past a certain point, and you risk an ice cream eruption! – resulting in less ice cream than we expected.

Pro tip: if you have a quart-sized machine, you can easily increase the recipe by a quarter without running into any trouble, space-wise. (The original recipe calls for 8 ounces of silken tofu, which is silly since most bricks weigh in at ~ 12 ounces. What am I gonna do with an odd four ounces of silken tofu, hmmm?)

Or, if you’re still worried, process it in two batches!

 

Cherry Banana Chocolate Chunk Ice Cream (0036)

 

(More below the fold…)

Eat to the Beat: Penne alla Vodka Martini & The Revels

Thursday, October 11th, 2012

 

The song: “Intoxica” by The Revels (instrumental)

The foodstuff: Penne alla Vodka Martini from The Tipsy Vegan

The connection: Booze!

 

Back in the ’90s, my dad subscribed to this music club (CMJ! Anyone? Bueller?) – one of the perks of which was a sampler CD of the newest in alternative rock, conveniently sent to our mailbox each month. Quaint, right! Anyway, he always passed the CDs along to me when he was done with them, and it was through one of these mix tapes that I fell in love with “Intoxica.”

(The Revels is actually a ’60s “surf music” band, which came back into vogue in the ’90s when one of its songs was featured on the Pulp Fiction soundtrack. Fun fact!)

The great thing about instrumental music is that it’s like an (almost-)blank canvas – so much is left to the imagination when there are no words to guide you. Whenever I hear “Intoxia,” I picture a mad (yet fashionable) scientist and her hot research assistant, partying it up in the laboratory after hours: Sipping expensive imported champagne from test tubes, exploring some, ahem, “hypotheses” hands-on behind the lab counters. (Maybe they’re even sexologists? WHO KNOWS!)

 

Penne alla Vodka Martini from Tipsy Vegan (0008)

 

And what better food to fuel their curiosity than something rich and boozy? The Penne alla Vodka Martini from (what else?) The Tipsy Vegan is spiked with not one but two kinds of liquor (vodka and vermouth, to be precise), and the nondairy milk (thickened with cornstarch) adds creamy decadence to the sauce.

Plus it’s so easy to make, our intrepid, sexy explorers need only a Bunsen burner or two to pull it off. (No not really! But this is a fantasy, so normal rules do not apply!)

Schlimm recommends using crushed San Marzano plum tomatoes for the sauce – or, in lieu of the name-brand goods, tomatoes not packed in puree, as this makes the sauce too thick. Naturally, the only crushed tomatoes I could find locally list tomato puree as the first ingredient. To compensate, I omitted the tomato paste; I think it worked out rather well. FYI, for those who find themselves facing the same dilemma!

 

Penne alla Vodka Martini from Tipsy Vegan (0017)

 

Served with a glass of red vermouth, before I realized that it’s for mixing, not sipping. Silly me!

 

veganmofo 2012
Eat to the Beat

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Eat to the Beat: The Hangover Tofu Omelet & Janis Joplin

Sunday, October 7th, 2012

 

The song: “What Good Can Drinking Do” by Janis Joplin (lyrics)

The foodstuff: The Hangover Tofu Omelet from The Tipsy Vegan

The connection: In an alternate universe (i.e., my fanfic), some groovy vegan chef made this for a hungover Janis; yada yada yada, the two fell madly in love, moved to Texas, adopted a bunch o’ cats, opened a combination farmed animal shelter-slash-vegan bed and breakfast, made delicious music and beautiful foods, and lived happily ever after. THE END.

 

The Hangover Tofu Omelet from Tipsy Vegan (0005)

 

I can’t even remember the last time I had an omelet! In my non-vegan life, I was more of a fried egg girl anyway. Omelets and scrambled eggs? Not really my favorite. But the Hangover Tofu Omelet in The Tipsy Vegan looked simple and tasty – not to mention, it fits this Janis Joplin song most perfectly – so I decided to give it a whirl.

Marsala wine adds the “tips” to this omelet – but the taste is so subtle that you could easily omit it if you don’t have any on hand. (Though this kind of negates the point of the cookbook!) The silken tofu base is also seasoned with nutritional yeast, tahini, onion, garlic, and paprika, as well as a red (green, in my case) bell pepper sprinkled in the middle. Basically you blend everything but the pepper together, and then fry it on an oiled skillet until the underside is golden brown. Fold (the peppers, previously on the top, are now sandwiched comfortably in the middle of the omelet), cook for another minute, and serve warm with a few Lightlife breakfast sausage links.

All in all, it’s pretty tasty, though methinks it could use a little extra seasoning. Some fresh onion or minced garlic, maybe? Also, I’m partial to the crispy parts, so next time around I might just flip the whole thing over instead of folding it into an omelet. Bonus points for burned parts!

Pro tip: if your omelet sticks to the skillet and you’re not able to flip it properly: GO WITH IT! Make scrambled eggs instead. That’s what happened to Shane’s omelet.

 
The Hangover Tofu Omelet from Tipsy Vegan (0024)
 

The recipe only serves one, but you can easily double it to make two omelets. That way you won’t end up with extra tofu going moldy in your fridge. I hate having opened perishable ingredients sitting around, yo!

 

veganmofo 2012
Eat to the Beat

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